Who is the ideal mother?

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Deborah_

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To mark Mothering Sunday, the Church of England recently commissioned a poll to discover “Britain’s ideal mother.” Now this is actually quite a tricky question to answer. First of all, what are the qualities that make an ideal mother? And secondly, does anyone in the world measure up to them?

It’s perhaps not surprising that the 2000 people surveyed should have offered a very wide range of answers; Princess Diana, although the most popular choice, was named by only 5%. In second place was “my own mother”. You can look at that in two ways. Good news, that “my own mother” was high in the rankings - or bad news, that less than 5% of the sample rated their own mother more highly than a celebrity or a fictional character?

One of the problems is that the vast majority of us have, in the nature of things, only ever had one mother. The mothering skills of other women can only be viewed from outside the family - with all the limitations of that viewpoint. Most ‘mothering’ happens in private, behind the scenes; we know all the weaknesses and remember all the failures of our own mothers, which makes it all too easy to put celebrity mothers on a pedestal and assume that they are better. At least for Princess Diana we have the testimony of her two sons that she was “the best mum in the world”, which makes her a worthy occupant of the ‘top spot’.

The competition from the world of fiction is even stiffer. Characters like Molly Weasley and Mrs March were, after all, specially crafted by their authors to be exceptionally good mothers. But they do, as a result, set an artificially high standard that I suspect few real women can consistently live up to.

What really does surprise me about the survey result is that third place was taken by Mother Theresa - a worthy and godly woman, certainly, but one who never had any children of her own. So why was she ranked so highly as a mother? Are we inclined to project good qualities onto people that we admire, when we have no other information to go on? The same could be said of the Virgin Mary (who came 8th in the poll). Although she did have several children, the Bible tells us virtually nothing of her mothering capabilities; we just assume that she “must have been” the ideal mother simply because she was chosen by God to be the mother of His Son. What, in fact, do we know? That she gave the young Jesus a ticking-off for getting lost in Jerusalem (Luke 2:41-48), and that when He was grown-up the relationship between them was, at best, a bit strained (John 2:3,4; Mark 3:21,32-35). This shows, at least, that she was a ‘real’ mother, not an artificial construct.

What does the Bible have to say about the ideal mother? The book of Proverbs has a chapter devoted to a good wife (who is also a mother). I read this at my own mother’s funeral:

“She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed…”
(Proverbs 31:26-28)
 

amadeus

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I guess the poll was looking for the ideal natural mother, but since, Mother Theresa, who was never such a mother was in the running we, as believers should perhaps consider these verses in making our own decision:

"For it is written, that Abraham had two sons, the one by a bondmaid, the other by a freewoman.
But he who was of the bondwoman was born after the flesh; but he of the freewoman was by promise.
Which things are an allegory: for these are the two covenants; the one from the mount Sinai, which gendereth to bondage, which is Agar.
For this Agar is mount Sinai in Arabia, and answereth to Jerusalem which now is, and is in bondage with her children.

But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all.
For it is written, Rejoice, thou barren that bearest not; break forth and cry, thou that travailest not: for the desolate hath many more children than she which hath an husband." Gal 4:22-27

And also these:

"But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?
And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!
For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother." Matt 12:48-50
 
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VictoryinJesus

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I guess the poll was looking for the ideal natural mother, but since, Mother Theresa, who was never such a mother was in the running we, as believers should perhaps consider these verses in making our own decision:

"For it is written, that Abraham had two sons, the one by a bondmaid, the other by a freewoman.
But he who was of the bondwoman was born after the flesh; but he of the freewoman was by promise.
Which things are an allegory: for these are the two covenants; the one from the mount Sinai, which gendereth to bondage, which is Agar.
For this Agar is mount Sinai in Arabia, and answereth to Jerusalem which now is, and is in bondage with her children.

But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all.
For it is written, Rejoice, thou barren that bearest not; break forth and cry, thou that travailest not: for the desolate hath many more children than she which hath an husband." Gal 4:22-27

And also these:

"But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?
And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!
For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother." Matt 12:48-50

The mother of us all, which IS the Proverbs 31 woman, should have been at the top of the list.

Genesis 24:60
[60] And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them.

What did Rebekah do; the Will of God by running out to meet Isaac (the Son of the Father).

Genesis 24:43-44 KJV
[43] Behold, I stand by the well of water; and it shall come to pass, that when the virgin cometh forth to draw water , and I say to her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water of thy pitcher to drink; [44] And she say to me, Both drink thou, and I will also draw for thy camels: let the same be the woman whom the Lord hath appointed out for my master's son.
 

amadeus

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The mother of us all, which IS the Proverbs 31 woman, should have been at the top of the list.
Amen!
Genesis 24:60
[60] And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them.

What did Rebekah do; the Will of God by running out to meet Isaac (the Son of the Father).

Genesis 24:43-44 KJV
[43] Behold, I stand by the well of water; and it shall come to pass, that when the virgin cometh forth to draw water , and I say to her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water of thy pitcher to drink; [44] And she say to me, Both drink thou, and I will also draw for thy camels: let the same be the woman whom the Lord hath appointed out for my master's son.
Give God the glory!

And consider also Rachel, the one called a keeper of her father's sheep:

"And while he yet spake with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep: for she kept them." Gen 29:9
 
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Frank Lee

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The ideal mother is alive right now somewhere. Many somewheres. Thousands of somewheres. She's not some biblical character or some religious personality. But she must be a christian to qualify. No one can be ideal without connecting with the judge of what's ideal.

She's a woman that like the one in Proverbs that does all things well. Not perfect but well. Perhaps she's working at a job as a single mother, trying to earn a living and take care of her children. Her work is only partly done when her job ends. She goes home and cares for her kids. Washing, cooking, trying to get some quality time with the children before it begins all over again.

Perhaps she's married and is a co-laborer with her husband. "Partners" do not qualify as ideals...

Partner has come to have a slimy sound about it. No commitment to the ideals of God.

An ideal mother is the one into whose eyes her children look and see the one who is always there for them. Their very own loving mama.

My own mama was stricken with lupus when was only twenty five. Yet she labored to cook, clean and care for her babies despite hospital stays, surgeries and the devastation of the monster drug prednisone.

The ideal mother? The one who lays down her life for her family and thinks nothing of it.
 
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Windmillcharge

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This debate misses the point about mothers.
Being a mother is not just a biological event, nor is merely the process of looking after a child.
The BBC had a week of 'celebrating mothers' those I saw were all working mothers. Most women will say that there Children are the most important thing in their lives, but think about that statement.

Children are the most important thing in their lives, yet divorce is often initiated by women, many children are being brought up in single parrent homes or are cared for by child-care etc.

Why this attack on women/mothers.

Simple if the above statement is true Mothers woulddo all they could to ensure their children had the best possible upbringing and this is the patten laid down by God.

One Man and One Woman, committed to each other for life to work together to raise a family.

That means no premarital sex, stats show multiple partners increae the marriage failure rate, no mother at out at work while the children are of school age, stats show under 3's do significantly worse emotional and intellectualy if farmed out to childcare, there is also evidence that even older children are affected by an absent Mum.
Divorce has long been shown to damage for life children caught in it and again the stats show that single parent children do less well then children with two parrents, also boys with no father figure are again statisticaly more likely to be in trouble with the law etc.

If Children are important to Mothers/women it follows that they will prepare for being a mother/wife.

This is the argument that is avoided as being incorrect in the mothers day celebration.
 

Frank Lee

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As wild as I was before becoming a Christian at 33 we were able to give ourselves and our children a gift.

Our wedding night, may 27th 1966 was the very first time that we were intimate. Though we were normal passionate humans we were able to remain sexually pure. It had to have been God. We married only three months after meeting.

Our life has been different and we can't relate to church goers that think nothing of living together unmarried and going to church.

America is dying by degrees. Revival is needed. Schools, churches, government. Every part of our culture has fallen far from where it was just a few years ago.

They would have jailed people for the TV commercials being made now. Even promoting homosexual life in some commercial promotions.

America I know Wil never be great again because God will never be given the place He had before.

The WWII era was perhaps our finest hour. Americans fought side by side. Worshipped together, prayed together, worked together against common enemies. Grieved together, wept together and rejoiced together. God was welcomed everywhere.

Now millions have rejected Him and instead weep because the corrupt and vile politicians they support weren't elected.

I know that I will never get to see this country as before. Many will be saved and turned around but multitudes will not. I'm sorry for this.
 
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Windmillcharge

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America is dying by degrees. Revival is needed. Schools, churches, government. Every part of our culture has fallen far from where it was just a few years ago.
Not just the US, every country with a Christian heritage is no longer even remotly Christian.
In financal terms we have been living off our capital, rather than generating capital and are now almost bankrupt.

What will horrify many is that China is noe more of a Christian country than most so called Christian countries.
Should China recognise the importance of Christianity and practice it. Then the leadership of the world will shift to the east.
 

prashanthd

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What does the Bible have to say about the ideal mother?

The idea of being a perfect/ideal mother or mother's day has gained popularity over a decade or two. It was irrelevant (I think) in the past. It is unnecessary to put this into the minds of people as these ideas are often inculcated by the pro women activists for political or commercial reasons or by those who are craving "give me more".:) People put in a lot of words to express their ideas which are often far away from the wisdom of God! Instead, it is worth to spend time to consider this with the Word of God.

Who is a perfect father?
without even a wink, the answer is God.
Who is a perfect mother?
certainly, again it is God.

Psalm 27
10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

For your question of who can be nearing to an ideal mother? I can answer it from a son's perspective.

Why would a son want his mother to possess and display extraordinary, supernatural skills? :D All a son wants from a mother is to simply be a mother!:)

A mother has to care for her children and her family (1 Tim 5:14, prov 29:15,31:27) while being under the authority of her husband(1 Cor 11:7,8). No wonder a mother at times can face difficult circumstances to do this.

Proverbs 31
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
It is difficult to repeat this every day, the entire life! Still, mothers do.:)

It is natural, some of the mothers, to continue to expect her son to remain under her control even after he grows up:p (matt 10:37). A mother should expect her grown up son to make her husband( son's father) glad (Prov 10:1) i.e. a mother should expect her grown up son to walk according to the will of God.

Proverbs 31
2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows? ...


In return to this, her son would praise her (prov 31:28), fulfill his responsibility to care for her in her old age (John 19:26,27) and also grieve for her the most.

Psalm 35
14 I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother.
Amen.

All glory to God.
 

prashanthd

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Not just the US, every country with a Christian heritage is no longer even remotly Christian.
In financal terms we have been living off our capital, rather than generating capital and are now almost bankrupt.

What will horrify many is that China is noe more of a Christian country than most so called Christian countries.
Should China recognise the importance of Christianity and practice it. Then the leadership of the world will shift to the east.

In case the whole of China can practice Christianity, then praise be to God!
As far as the leadership is concerned, China might probably become an economic power for some time. Practicing a religion is concerned, I know the difficulties faced by highly populated countries.:D:)
 

Frank Lee

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The strongest Christians in existence are in other countries. Things are too easy here. For the most part Christianity - the way it is practiced, received - here is just too easy.

Vigorous preaching against the baptism in the Holy Spirit leaves thousands with a fear and/or negative perception in the minds and hearts of denominational quasi believers. They are so fearful of the gift of tongues and being ignorant teach every kind of error concerning all of God's gifts.

Once God gave a revealing dream. Jesus was walking down a bush city street carrying a large basket filled with spiritual gifts.

Instead of rushing up to receive them they fled. Men were running away and looking back over their shoulders yelling for him to go away. They were running to the other side of the street, anywhere to escape God's fearful and unwanted gifts.

Those courageous souls in North Korea that are Christians practice their faith in the face of death. Those in Iran and other Islamic lands face the threat of death daily.

Indian Christians are suffering much persecution from the Hindus and other of their multitudinous false religions.

Please pray for brother Samuel in India.

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prashanthd

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Indian Christians are suffering much persecution from the Hindus and other of their multitudinous false religions.
Please pray for brother Samuel in India.

That's true. I've posted an update during last Christmas. There is a communal government in place at the center which is known to provocate Hindhus against other religions including muslims. Their influence is more in the north when compared to the south. Christians were affected almost all across this country ever since this govt came into power.

I'll pray for brother Samuel in our neighboring state. :)

The strongest Christians in existence are in other countries. Things are too easy here. For the most part Christianity - the way it is practiced, received - here is just too easy.

I've found best preachers in America, who had good understanding in the Word of God. Perhaps the new generation is straying away from the Word of God. People here imitate almost everything from the West (except Christian religion) starting from Denim to Homosexual rallies. :D

I'll pray for your nation too. :)

Psalm 33
12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD; and the people whom he hath chosen for his own inheritance.

Regards.
 

Frank Lee

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The thing of Christians is that our nation has no boundary. We are joined together in a common bond.

Deuteronomy 4:7-8 KJVS
For what nation is there so great, who hath God so nigh unto them, as the Lord our God is in all things that we call upon him for ? [8] And what nation is there so great, that hath statutes and judgments so righteous as all this law, which I set before you this day? ? [8] And what nation is there so great, that hath statutes and judgments so righteous as all this law, which I set before you this day?

We are truly brothers and sisters in the common bond of the uncommon spirit of God with which we have been baptized. Is it a wonder that the world does not recognize us nor what we say and do?

We are strangers and sojourners here and our treasure is laid up in another place whilst theirs is in this world.
 
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