Why Do We Shoot Our Wounded?
Written by: Dr. David Kyle Foster – March 1998
We preach a message of redemption and forgiveness, but too often we respond the wrong way when someone falls into sin. When will we learn to become healers?
The church is a terrible place to sin. It’s a terrible place to be weak, to admit failure. That’s because in the church, too often, we shoot our wounded.
You messed up? We’ll fix that real quick: Ka-boom! Out of sight, out of mind.
It wasn't easy getting folks to talk to me for this article — even those whose fall had been public and was material for their own books.
“I’m writing about how the church treats those who have fallen into sin and how we can restore fallen people to wholeness in Christ.”, I’d explain. But even though those Christians whose falls were public, who wrote their own books about it, who repented and ultimately experienced restored relationship with God and others, found it too difficult to speak.
One of my first calls was to a man who fell into immorality while heading up one of the most respected evangelical campus ministries in the world. He very curtly informed me that he did not want to be a part of this project.
Then there was the man who had been a fixture on Christian radio for more than a decade before losing it all over an adulterous affair. He came at me like a wounded animal, as I listened in stunned silence on the phone.
Why would men who had experienced the redemptive grace of God not want to share that joy with others? Why would they not want to offer words of guidance or correction for the church?
I was discovering that the wounding of fallen believers by others in the church takes a far greater toll than I had ever imagined. In response to feeling betrayed by a believer who falls, many react with their own brand of betrayal – and shoot the wounded.
The former radio preacher told me, "Rumor and accusation are the biggest problems. You can't trust even friends to keep confidences." Choking back deep emotion, he breathed, "The pain is awful!... Tell them to obey Galatians 6:1-2", he finally growled.
In that passage, Paul says, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."(NIV)
Sadly, few Christians or churches have heeded Paul’s advice. And the results have been tragic.
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This is only one page of a nine-page article. You can ask me for the rest if you want to read it.
