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Did you hear about the new star wars movie?
In this one, Darth Vader has a wife... he's married!
Darth and Ella Vader
In this one, Darth Vader has a wife... he's married!
Darth and Ella Vader
Phoneman777
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One time, I called an inner-city live radio broadcast with a "prophet" host and his co-host and asked them if they could interpret a "dream I had" and proceeded to tell them that I saw the four winds raging upon a great sea and saw four great beasts come out of the sea and the first was like a lion, the second a bear, the third leopard, and a fourth dragon-beast and I just had to know what it all means...
The "prophet" proceeded to give me a ridiculous explanation that these were struggles in my life, and how the bear represented struggle with finances and the lion was struggle with pride, etc. - pretty generic stuff.
I said, Nope, I just quoted Daniel chapter 7 where God depicts Babylon, Medo-Persia, Greece, and Rome as four beasts asked him how in the world does a "prophet" like himself not know about one of the most fantastic prophecies of the Bible - the couldn't get me off the air fast enough.
It breaks my heart that these charletins exploit the ignorance and financial vulnerability of uneducated inner-city minorities for their own disgusting purposes, blinding people to the truth and offering them only false hope for financial success through "seed sowing" to their ministries.
The "prophet" proceeded to give me a ridiculous explanation that these were struggles in my life, and how the bear represented struggle with finances and the lion was struggle with pride, etc. - pretty generic stuff.
I said, Nope, I just quoted Daniel chapter 7 where God depicts Babylon, Medo-Persia, Greece, and Rome as four beasts asked him how in the world does a "prophet" like himself not know about one of the most fantastic prophecies of the Bible - the couldn't get me off the air fast enough.
It breaks my heart that these charletins exploit the ignorance and financial vulnerability of uneducated inner-city minorities for their own disgusting purposes, blinding people to the truth and offering them only false hope for financial success through "seed sowing" to their ministries.
Phoneman777
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If dad jokes had an awards show, this would def win "Most Likely To Induce Skydiving Without A Parachute"
I think the all time best Dad joke is this>>>
A woman went into labor and her husband was driving her to the hospital, but the baby was coming and he had to pull over before he could get there. Sure enough-- she delivered a boy right there in the back seat.
He named the child- Carson.
I have no kids so, these are not dad jokes.
Speaking of skydiving... do you know why blind people don't go skydiving?
It scares the dog!
Phoneman777
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Guy goes into a bar and orders a Coke. All of a sudden he hears someone yell "Ten!" and the whole place erupts in laughter. Soon, another yells "7!" and again, laughter. Finally, he asks what's going on and the bartender says they've been telling the same old jokes for so long that they eventually assigned numbers to save time.
Guy thinks about it for a minute and then gets an idea: he takes a sip of his Coke and then yells "4!" - and nobody laughs.
Bartender shakes his head and says, "Some people just can't tell a joke".
Phoneman777
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Back on topic.
A homeless man in a pitiful state was having to endure yet another night sleeping outdoors. He usually laid himself out on a park bench, but this night it was drizzling rain, so he went down the steep river bank to try to sleep on the sloped surface beneath the bridge for the little bit of shelter it afforded.
He had just drifted off to sleep when he heard a woman’s voice calling to him. “Hello? — Hellllooo? she called out. He looked up to see a beautiful woman standing beside a big black limousine on the road above him.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“I’m just sleeping here” he said. “Trying to stay out of the rain.”
“Well you shouldn’t sleep out here” she said. You’ll freeze to death, or roll yourself right down the slope and into the river! Come up here and come with me into my car. I have a big house with plenty of rooms where you will be warm and safe.”
So he got up and went with her in the limousine back to her grand estate. She fed him some hot soup and some warm milk and took him up to a cozy room with a big feather bed.
“Is there anything else you need?” she asked.
“No this is absolutely wonderful” he replied, quite amazed at his good fortune on such a cold and rainy night.
“Well maybe you would enjoy a little company? she asked with a wink….
“Oh my!” He said— “Yes, indeed I would!” So he went to roll over to make room for her— but alas!!! He rolled right into the River.
A homeless man in a pitiful state was having to endure yet another night sleeping outdoors. He usually laid himself out on a park bench, but this night it was drizzling rain, so he went down the steep river bank to try to sleep on the sloped surface beneath the bridge for the little bit of shelter it afforded.
He had just drifted off to sleep when he heard a woman’s voice calling to him. “Hello? — Hellllooo? she called out. He looked up to see a beautiful woman standing beside a big black limousine on the road above him.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“I’m just sleeping here” he said. “Trying to stay out of the rain.”
“Well you shouldn’t sleep out here” she said. You’ll freeze to death, or roll yourself right down the slope and into the river! Come up here and come with me into my car. I have a big house with plenty of rooms where you will be warm and safe.”
So he got up and went with her in the limousine back to her grand estate. She fed him some hot soup and some warm milk and took him up to a cozy room with a big feather bed.
“Is there anything else you need?” she asked.
“No this is absolutely wonderful” he replied, quite amazed at his good fortune on such a cold and rainy night.
“Well maybe you would enjoy a little company? she asked with a wink….
“Oh my!” He said— “Yes, indeed I would!” So he went to roll over to make room for her— but alas!!! He rolled right into the River.
I've told that around liberal peoples... and they thought I was racist against the blind peoples... or dog peoples
Phoneman777
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Three men were on their way to destroy a city. One was not from around here. He came from another place, where he was the Chief. In that place, the Chief's son was sent away at his father's request--- to carry out an important mission in our land, so many years ago he had left that other place and had come to this place. In this place he was not recognized as the son of a Chief. He was not recognized at all. This was the second man, of that group of three.
The third man was from among us. He was known as a hard worker-- a true soldier, diligent in all his undertakings. He had risen through the ranks and after years of faithful service he had been put in a position of leadership over other men, including that son of the Chief from another place.
These three came and sat and talked with me and when they left I thought of the strange circumstance that brought them to the door of my tent. The Chief became the lowliest of the three, for he had just arrived. His son, though he was of rank and royal pedigree found himself in a position of servitude. In obedience to his father, he placed himself under the authority of one of us-- a simple man with no claim to fame. The one from among us, this simple man became the man of the hour-- in command of the other two as a matter of fact, who though in that other place they were both superior to him, here they subjugated themselves, humbled themselves and offered themselves to the task at hand. The three were in agreement, and though he had never met the Chief personally, the simple man knew his son and in time, both the Chief's son and this simple man learned to obey and also serve the Chief, not out of necessity-- for he was no Chief here... but out of love.
The third man was from among us. He was known as a hard worker-- a true soldier, diligent in all his undertakings. He had risen through the ranks and after years of faithful service he had been put in a position of leadership over other men, including that son of the Chief from another place.
These three came and sat and talked with me and when they left I thought of the strange circumstance that brought them to the door of my tent. The Chief became the lowliest of the three, for he had just arrived. His son, though he was of rank and royal pedigree found himself in a position of servitude. In obedience to his father, he placed himself under the authority of one of us-- a simple man with no claim to fame. The one from among us, this simple man became the man of the hour-- in command of the other two as a matter of fact, who though in that other place they were both superior to him, here they subjugated themselves, humbled themselves and offered themselves to the task at hand. The three were in agreement, and though he had never met the Chief personally, the simple man knew his son and in time, both the Chief's son and this simple man learned to obey and also serve the Chief, not out of necessity-- for he was no Chief here... but out of love.
The earth shall rumble
the tall buildings crumble
and fall down as rubble and stone
The proud made humble
the people shall stumble
in destitute ruin they moan
When foundations quake
and shudder and shake
the people afraid and alone
the tall buildings crumble
and fall down as rubble and stone
The proud made humble
the people shall stumble
in destitute ruin they moan
When foundations quake
and shudder and shake
the people afraid and alone
I was touring model homes with my wife in tow. This is something I love to do-- to get ideas, see new trends, and so forth. We entered a large two-story, through the front door and starting upstairs, we checked out the bedrooms and from an elevated walkway we could peer down and see the vaulted Great Room with fireplace below. I had in my hand the brochures detailing the features and available options and upgrades and though I can't now recall-- this became the source for some sort of disagreement the two of us had-- something about the cost...
In frustration, I threw the handful of papers into the air as we were coming back down the stairs and I said-- 'You know what? Just forget it. I don't even want to tour the rest of the house' ---and I intended on walking right back out the front door, but the staircase continued to descend on down to a walk-out basement, so I followed her down. At the bottom of this stair, there was yet another set of stairs that were leading to a completely dark area- that the Agent said went down to 'the cave' he called it.... And I could feel the cold air coming up that stair, like the area was well below ground for cold storage. We went into the open ground-level walk-out basement area instead.
There, there was a group of people sitting at a large, square table in what I would call a recreation room. It was all nicely appointed, but it seemed like we had walked in on a private party. The host asked us to stay and sit-- and one couple was pouring some sort of beverage into a punch bowl. Another bowl had what looked like Welch's grape juice and with a ladle, there was someone serving cupfuls of this to the guests. We all sat down at the table and the young man to my right tipped and spilled this dark purple juice from his cup. The table had a plastic cover on it and though everyone gasped when the cup spilled for fear of the light colored carpet, we were able to quickly lift up the edges of the table covering to prevent even a single drop from staining the floor.
In frustration, I threw the handful of papers into the air as we were coming back down the stairs and I said-- 'You know what? Just forget it. I don't even want to tour the rest of the house' ---and I intended on walking right back out the front door, but the staircase continued to descend on down to a walk-out basement, so I followed her down. At the bottom of this stair, there was yet another set of stairs that were leading to a completely dark area- that the Agent said went down to 'the cave' he called it.... And I could feel the cold air coming up that stair, like the area was well below ground for cold storage. We went into the open ground-level walk-out basement area instead.
There, there was a group of people sitting at a large, square table in what I would call a recreation room. It was all nicely appointed, but it seemed like we had walked in on a private party. The host asked us to stay and sit-- and one couple was pouring some sort of beverage into a punch bowl. Another bowl had what looked like Welch's grape juice and with a ladle, there was someone serving cupfuls of this to the guests. We all sat down at the table and the young man to my right tipped and spilled this dark purple juice from his cup. The table had a plastic cover on it and though everyone gasped when the cup spilled for fear of the light colored carpet, we were able to quickly lift up the edges of the table covering to prevent even a single drop from staining the floor.
Phoneman777
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