Hi there,
So I have been through the whole back sliding thing and come to the conclusion that I both need a second wind and greater grace from God - and this is where the Devil hits me: the Devil says "no, you have become backsliding, there is no more hope for you" and "no God does not want to give you greater grace, you are already a sinner". It is making me really mad! God can do anything, why would He just want believers who believe what they are told? Doesn't God want believers that are able to think for themselves? That would make sense?
So anyway, I am still praying and I still trust God, I am just mad at the Devil, that he thinks he knows what faith is and what not and for some reason I have to come down to his level, to make it clear THAT I SERVE THE LORD. The Holy Spirit hasn't abandoned me, if anything our faith has grown stronger, which I suppose is something great - I just don't understand why the Devil has to evaluate our faith, as if it is his business whether we believe or not? In part I think it is because he lives by instinct, and if he can't tell what is happening by instinct, he doesn't trust God - which is his problem, but it would be wrong if we didn't help?
I guess the mystery of Christ will make the difference, because if there is greater mystery to His Power, then there is greater faith. I'm not sure if you can just arrive at the knowledge of the mystery of the faith, without struggling, which is why I have come to the point where I am almost stuck. God doesn't want me to be stuck, but I have to do my part and let Him know "I am stuck!". In time I will see the pitfalls coming, which will be great - I just think in the meantime it would be great if the Holy Spirit reminded me "don't lose your temper!" Even now I wonder if I am abusing my faith, by suggesting that the Holy Spirit should have an answer to the circumstances I find myself in?
Anyway, the more I see the Devil defeated, the more I realise it is easier to just pray and trust God, and I have you (my Heavenly Family) to thank for the endurance of the faith - I think together we can learn not to covet the things of this life, and put God first place, the moreso as we overcome the flesh. If God receives the Glory, it is worth telling the story!
So I have been through the whole back sliding thing and come to the conclusion that I both need a second wind and greater grace from God - and this is where the Devil hits me: the Devil says "no, you have become backsliding, there is no more hope for you" and "no God does not want to give you greater grace, you are already a sinner". It is making me really mad! God can do anything, why would He just want believers who believe what they are told? Doesn't God want believers that are able to think for themselves? That would make sense?
So anyway, I am still praying and I still trust God, I am just mad at the Devil, that he thinks he knows what faith is and what not and for some reason I have to come down to his level, to make it clear THAT I SERVE THE LORD. The Holy Spirit hasn't abandoned me, if anything our faith has grown stronger, which I suppose is something great - I just don't understand why the Devil has to evaluate our faith, as if it is his business whether we believe or not? In part I think it is because he lives by instinct, and if he can't tell what is happening by instinct, he doesn't trust God - which is his problem, but it would be wrong if we didn't help?
I guess the mystery of Christ will make the difference, because if there is greater mystery to His Power, then there is greater faith. I'm not sure if you can just arrive at the knowledge of the mystery of the faith, without struggling, which is why I have come to the point where I am almost stuck. God doesn't want me to be stuck, but I have to do my part and let Him know "I am stuck!". In time I will see the pitfalls coming, which will be great - I just think in the meantime it would be great if the Holy Spirit reminded me "don't lose your temper!" Even now I wonder if I am abusing my faith, by suggesting that the Holy Spirit should have an answer to the circumstances I find myself in?
Anyway, the more I see the Devil defeated, the more I realise it is easier to just pray and trust God, and I have you (my Heavenly Family) to thank for the endurance of the faith - I think together we can learn not to covet the things of this life, and put God first place, the moreso as we overcome the flesh. If God receives the Glory, it is worth telling the story!