Nobody likes to be judged for their private conduct,
True. Let me try to understand your dilemma.
There could be one of several things actually happening.
1. God could be chastising you because you do have a drinking problem or He sees it developing. He chastises those He loves. But it is always for your benefit and it is always based in the truth.
2. Your guilt feelings are negative. How they got there I don't know. But you might be using these negative feelings to lash out at God, make excuses not to believe or have faith or go to church. You have decided that God is not for you but against you and you could not be more wrong. You are using scripture to justify your drinking. It may or may not be a problem The Bible doesn't say don't drink,
it says don't get drunk and develop a habit where every occasion becomes a reason to include it.
You are reaching out to others, which is good. But you cannot solicit Chrisitans to agree with such negative accusations against God. You just don't understand what's going on. I can tell you for sure that the Devil is lying to you. It is most likely his voice you are hearing. He is putting thoughts in your head leading you to believe it is God.
3. Sometimes we feel guilty because we are guilty. This is an internal way for God to reveal sin in our lives. The Holy Spirit does convict us of sin and we feel guilt. It is a work that He is doing and it is good for us, to be chastised and corrected. We feel guilty BECAUSE WE ARE GUILTY.
4. Guilt can be fueled by what others are saying. For instance, are you getting this message of condemnation from the pulpit? Some Pastors are legalistic and beat people over the head with their Bibles and you walk out of church feeling guilty of sin and so they put guilt trips you - that you don't deserve. I'm not saying this is what is happening - I don't know.
Are your parents, family, friends or church members putting a guilt trip on you? This can be interpreted as coming from God and it may be. People who know you the best and love you, often tell you the truth. God does work through others to get to us. Many times others are really giving you sound advice - that you don't want to hear. And so if you are thinking your drinking isn't a problem,
then no one around you would ever bring it up.
I like to have a drink of wine here and there. Pretty tame stuff, right?
Yes. Good for the stomach and heart. I knew a farmer in France who drank a glass or two with lunch and the same for dinner - no problem. He lived a long, healthy life, a good man. But he didn't get drunk and make a fool out of himself.
Unfortunately, God has been treating me very poorly
Wrong, not possible. He loves you - unless you are a reprobate: wicked, evil, an unredeemable person. But only He knows who they are. A reprobate would not be so concerned about guilt. They are callous to guilt feelings and do what they do without questioning their motives. They go with their inclinations freely without acknowledging any authority above them.
He tells me I'm committing a horrible sin
How does He tell you that? Any particular number above apply to you? Since drinking wine is not a sin, the only message He would give you is one that is good for you. If He saw a problem in your future, that you can't see, maybe He is trying to steer you away from it.
He thinks that because a very tiny amount of people drink irresponsibly and kill others in car accidents that no one can therefore be allowed to drink alcohol, not even people who drink responsibly, in moderation, and from time to time sparingly.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT GOD THINKS. And since your accusations of Him lying, I would have to say you do not know Him.
The Devil is the Father of lies and he seriously ramps up his game when we are getting closer to God. He is now putting these doubts in your head - reasons to justify your turning against God. Don't let him do that!
At this point it is crucial that you speak to your Pastor about this, or Elders in the church unless this is where the guilt trips are coming from in which case change churches.
This logic is extremely unfair.
Life isn't always fair.
When God gives me this doubtful response, I ask him why does the Bible approve of drinking in the scriptures I quoted? God never answers. He instead chooses to ignore me.
These are all misconceptions about God.
But God told me to leave church because apparently he thinks I would commit some horrible sin by participating.
Is this an inward unction or an outward message from the pulpit or people you know that you are interpreting as coming from God?
If it is a good church, He would not tell you to leave. We are all sinners.
If you are an alcoholic and in denial, then you need help, counsel and a temporary leave of absense from the church so you don't corrupt anyone else.
You need to be honest with yourself.
Because of how God treated me recently at church, he made me feel humiliated, rejected, inferior, unwanted and like a worthless piece of garbage.
Having a Spirit-filled Pastor is wonderful in many ways. Sometimes it seems as if the sermon was written to address you and your sin and so you get convicted. That's good. We listen, recejve a rebuke from God and change our ways.
There is a spiritual battle going in in you now. God is telling you some things and the Devil is twisting them, putting doubts in your head and lying to you. Don't let him take your soul. Trust God and talk to your Pastor. Copy exactly what you wrote and give it to him, he will help you better than anyone here can.