False converted, than apostate

[poorlostapostate]

You can start by attending church services and serving God there. That way you can enjoy the enticings of the Holy Spirit. That's how I originally repented. That and not wanting to go to hell. If you have not been baptized and prayed over to receive the Holy Spirit then you should have that done.

Hmmm... does it really work that way ? When you repent, should there be a heart change, leading to works ? But the way you speak sound like it's the opposite : you make works and God change your heart. I'm not sure that's biblical.

 

[poorlostapostate]

God wants all of us. He loves all of us.

Repentance is a change in the direction of your life. Letting everything go, leaving it all behind and walking a new path and following Him who leads you.
Confidence. Not in yourself but rather trusting God that he will and has kept his promises.
This is that mustard seed. You have to believe it to receive it. This is the foundation of faith. It's in the believing.
But you have to step out and move forward. It's that leap of faith. Like walking off a cliff and knowing he will catch you.
Sometimes he lets us fall. We get back up again stronger than before. Because we know that He is always there waiting for us to come to Him.
You need to have this kind of believing. And as you already know, it's not easy but it is necessary.
God is waiting for you to ask him to heal you. And you must have confidence in believing he has.
Your doubt is what is standing in your way.
This too must be repented of. Leave your doubts behind you and step into faith.
Know it in your heart that God loves you and is choosing you to follow him.
And go.

I will be praying for you. That God may give you rest from your fears and doubts.
Hugs

Thank you. That's what I try to to (change in the direction) by my deeds, words and thoughts. But the problem is that I feel like I'm trying to change on my own, and only for the benefits of my life and my soul. I mean : I know I am a sinner and I need to change and I try to, but there isn't really any love in my trials to please God. Also, I really struggle with hating my sins.

There were times where I got this deep feeling of shame, anger, and sadness over my sins and cried out to God for help to make those sins disapear of my heart. Unfortunately, it seems that when that happens, it's only for a short period of time. And later on, this awareness of the ugliness of my sin kind of disapear. I'm not saying that I go back to my sins and that I lose the will to walk with God and that I stop having the knowledge that my sins are bad. But I can't have this genuine hate and sadness for my sins in my heart permanently. I wish I could. And for that reason, I don't think I truly repented.

 

[poorlostapostate]

True faith affects our lives in many ways, as the presence of the Holy Spirit produces spiritual fruit. I would say that the changes that you describe are evidence that you were born again.

Thank you for your answer but really I want to insist on the fact that I did experience some changes in my life, but those changes weren't caused by me being born again, but I just experienced a sort of taste of the Holy Spirit or something. But I am convinced that I've never truly known God, even if at the time I thought I had. I forsook my sins, I did try to follow Jesus and I felt a certain excitement over following Him, but today if I think back of that time, I don't think surrendered my life wholly. And after that, I went back to the world, little by little, until I totally fell away.

For that reason, I think that makes me an apostate. I fell away very badly, my state became worse than ever in my life. I fit perfectly with those spoken in 2 Peter 2.20 and Hebrews 6 4-6... Unfortunately.

 

[poorlostapostate]

There is a part of you that loves your sins. That's normal, and quite biblical. Paul describes it in Romans chapter 7, if you want to look it up.

Yes but in my case I feel like I'm still a slave of my sins. I abstain from sinning mostly out of fear and because I mentaly know they are bad and they hurt God. But I can't say that I truly have this hate in my heart for my sins.

I just woke up from a sexual dream. Once again... I really hate those dreams, but I have them regularly. That is one reason telling me that in my heart, I haven't truly come to the point of hating my sins.

 

[poorlostapostate]

By the way can I change my nickname ? I chose it quickly.

 

[dev553344]

Hmmm... does it really work that way ? When you repent, should there be a heart change, leading to works ? But the way you speak sound like it's the opposite : you make works and God change your heart. I'm not sure that's biblical.

It is, try it and find out!

 

[Ziggy]

God has already forgiven you. You have to believe that.
You also have to forgive yourself. As long as you hold on to guilt it won't let you go.
You have to TRUST that you are forgiven.
And don't look back.
We all do things in life that lead us astray to one degree or another.
None of us is perfect. We are all flawed.
But God loves us nevertheless. And the only one who can remove sin is God.
Knowing that you are forgiven, you must believe in and have faith in that truth.
You can't keep looking over your shoulder at what has happened in the past.
I don't believe dreaming is sinning, but acting out those dreams can be.
The only way you can "wash" your mind is putting all your thoughts on Jesus.
The more you are in His word, your subconsciousness (dreams) will begin to lose a grip on you.
The more you think about the dreams the more powerful they will become.

Paul talks a lot about the renewing and washing of the mind.
And those things we should concentrate more on to change the subconscious mind over time.
Phl 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Psa 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Hugs

 

[Lambano]

By the way can I change my nickname ? I chose it quickly.

Yes. Click on your username at the top of the screen. On the pull-down menu, click on "Account Details". Next to your username, click "Change".

 

[Lambano]

Yes but in my case I feel like I'm still a slave of my sins. I abstain from sinning mostly out of fear and because I mentaly know they are bad and they hurt God. But I can't say that I truly have this hate in my heart for my sins.

I just woke up from a sexual dream. Once again... I really hate those dreams, but I have them regularly. That is one reason telling me that in my heart, I haven't truly come to the point of hating my sins.

"We hate our sins - but we love them." - Barclay

Yep. That's the human condition. But you can't serve God properly out of fear, because fear is a self-preservation mechanism. Now trust God. Otherwise, you'll get really neurotic obsessing over yourself. Okay?

 

[Lambano]

Oh, and Prodigal Son - the Father is so glad to have you back! Party time!

 

[WalterandDebbie]

Hello all. I'm 31, grew up in a christian family. I've always believed in the Gospel in my mind and I've always had an intellectual acceptance, but I've never actually had a saving faith. I was incredibly deceived all my life about my relationship with God.

At 20 years old though, I went very close to become a christian. At the time, I was deeply convinced that I was a christian and that I had commited my life to God. What happened is that at 20, I started to consider getting right with God. I lived a sinful teenage, and I knew I wasn't on the right track and that I needed to get right with God. So at 20 years old I started to pray again, to go to church again and to read the bible again, like when I was a child. But note that even if I did all that, I still wasn't born again.

But one day, something happened. I don't know if it was my conscience or the Holy Spirit, but I realised how bad my life was, and that I hurted a loving God who was still willing to take me. I was in my car. I bursted out crying and I asked God for forgiveness and told Him that I wanted to stop sinning and live for Him. From that moment, many changes occured within me. I would pray with enthousiasm, would be excited to go to church, to read the Bible, etc. I had a thirst to live for God, I would even worship him.

But note that even with all those changes, I still wasn't born again. The big drama is that I was basing my salvation on those changes that happened in me, instead of putting my faith in the work of Jesus Christ on the cross for me. I intellectually knew that he died for my sins, but I hadn't had received it by faith in my heart. Instead, I figured that I was following Him, therefore I was christian and I had commited my life to God. You see how deceived I was ? I was CONVICED that I was walking with God at that time, but today I realised that I was deceived, because I didn't put my trust in the right place. I thought I had faith, but I was relegious without realising it.

Today I can't help wondering: why God let me be deceived like that ? Why didn't he told me that I was deceived and didn't actually commited fully my life to Him ? Because I'll say it again : I really thought I had given my life to Him. I would always ask Him to make me look like Jesus more and more. And I truly wanted to live for Him. Maybe I didn't actuallysurender EVERYTHING, but I wasn't conscious of that. My intents were not bad, or if they were, I wasn't realising it. So I just can't understand that God just let me think I was walking with Him.

And after a year, I started to fall into my old sins again. Sins I had forsaken. It got worse and worse. Little by little I was getting back into my sinful lifestyle, up to the point I stopped repenting and stopped seeking God. I consciously turned away from God and got back to my sins and became worse than I ever was. I am exactly like those spoken in 2 Peter 2.20, Hebrew 6 4-6, etc.

I lived 6 years like that. During those 6 years, I knew I wasn't living rightly. I wasn't at peace with myself, I knew I was on a very bad path. There were even a few times wherr I tried to repent and get back to God, but I loved my sins and my lust too much... I kept telling myself that I would reconcile with God, but later, which today I realised it was such a terrible mentality. I would never had thought that I would stay like that for 6 years.

After 6 years, I ended up being very depressed and mentaly very distressed. So now I just want to truly give my life to Jesus Christ. I now fully understand how lost I am without Him. I realise how much I am a bad sinner, which I never realised that deeply before.

Can God forgive my apostasy ? And why didn't he show me that I was a false converted when I thought I was walking with Him ?

Hello, After the responses how is it now with you?

Walter

 

[Wrangler]

why God let me be deceived like that ?

According to Sylvia Brown, it is us who make up what we wan to learn in this life. So, where people want to blame God it is our Spirit self, pre-carnate that let you be deceived.

 

[sheariah07]

Yes but in my case I feel like I'm still a slave of my sins. I abstain from sinning mostly out of fear and because I mentaly know they are bad and they hurt God. But I can't say that I truly have this hate in my heart for my sins.

I just woke up from a sexual dream. Once again... I really hate those dreams, but I have them regularly. That is one reason telling me that in my heart, I haven't truly come to the point of hating my sins.

Hello! You said you feel like you're still a slave to sin. Jesus said whoever commits sin is a slave to sin. But when Jesus sets you free, you shall be free indeed. There are two types of Christians, one is carnal and the other spiritual. The carnal written in Romans 7, go and read if you want, and the Spiritual in Romans 8.

The newly convert, the babe in Christ, the carnal delights in the law of God and tries to subdue his sins by his might. Unfortunately he keeps failing and failing no matter how hard he tries. Why? Because he is still a slave to sin and cannot do anything but obey his master so that he cannot do righteousness even if he wants to break free. Then he comes to the point of wretchedness where he cries, O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death? (This is a state of hopelessness and realizes that he cannot end his sins with his power and is asking who can) I thank God it's through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Jesus said that the old wineskin cannot be filled with new wine because it will rent. But the old has to be replaced with a new wineskin so that when the new wine is poured, both are preserved. No man having drunk the old wine straightway desires a new one because he said the old is better.

A kingdom divided against itself cannot stand. Satan cannot cast out satan. Likewise, we as Christians try to fight our sins with our strength (the old wineskin, the old man) but it has to be replaced with the new wineskin (the new man is to be filled with the Spirit) so that both are preserved.

This happens to us because we are under a school master called The Law, it teaches us that no matter how we try as humans to subdue sin, we cannot and we will never be able to. And then it should bring us to FAITH in Christ. Because with men, it is impossible, but with God, all things are possible. That's why he is called Jesus. The Savior from sin.

Jesus is making you realize that you cannot overcome sin by yourself, but you have to cast yourself before him and ask for his mercy instead and to save you from your sins. And he will do it. He will empower you to subdue your sins by his Spirit.

 

[amigo de christo]

Well I don't even know if I love them or hate them... I abstain myself from sinning, I want to change, but deep in my heart I think I still have an attraction to my fleshy lusts, even if my mind hate them. Which is very scary. I don't even know what I want and who I am. There's a battle inside of me, and it feels like it's gonna last forever. I should NEVER EVER have apostasied. It totally messed up my heart.

Please guys, if you have a sin in your life that you know you should repent of, do it NOW. Not later. I chose to "repent later" whick was infinitely fool. Jesus died on the cross to deliver people from sin. Not as an excuse to keep on sinning.

But still you did repent . SO DO NOT LOOK backwards , look only forward unto the prize
that awaits the lambs at the end of our faith .
What matters IS THAT YOU DID REPENT and that you DO hate your sin .
You do hate it , sure all get tempted , but we hate even the temptation in our flesh .
MARCH FORWARD IN THE LORD and dont look back . STOP worrying over your past
and the fact that you fell into the hog pen for so long .
RATHER focus on the fact , GODTOOK MERCY ON YOU , THANK HIM and MOVE FORWARD .
T

 

[poorlostapostate]

God has already forgiven you. You have to believe that.
You also have to forgive yourself. As long as you hold on to guilt it won't let you go.
You have to TRUST that you are forgiven.

But even when I think that I'm forgiven, I don't have those feelings of joy and love in my heart. I can acknowledge the greatness of His sacrifice for me and thank Him for that, but it's not heartfelt like others believers who are in tears of thankfulness when they think about what Jesus did for them. Even when I manage to get myself believing I'm forgiven, I don't feel anything. Everything is in the mind, not the heart.

 

[poorlostapostate]

Oh, and Prodigal Son - the Father is so glad to have you back! Party time!

Sorry but as I said, unfortunately I've never been His son. So I'm not the Prodigal Son.

 

[poorlostapostate]

"We hate our sins - but we love them." - Barclay

Yep. That's the human condition. But you can't serve God properly out of fear, because fear is a self-preservation mechanism. Now trust God. Otherwise, you'll get really neurotic obsessing over yourself. Okay?

I already am actually. It's not that I don't trust God, it's myself that I don't trust. My heart is incredibly bad. There is nothing good, nothing for God inside. I'm pretty sure I come to Him only to be saved from the consequences of my sins but that I dont truly want God. I want to want that's for sure, but I don't know if I truly want Him. I keep praying that he changes my heart, that he makes my humble, loving, childlike, etc. But nothing change.

I am full of pride, hypocrisy, self-rightousness, lust, etc. I try to get rid off all that, but without His Spirit I can't. And suppose that eventually, I manage to be get my joy back and to be in peace with myself and with God... then, what's my insurance that I won't fall back into sins again ? I did it once very badly, and very stubbornely. I mean, if you asked me if I would do it again I would respond with a big NO. But I learned that I'm a vile sinner, absolutely not to be trusted.

Sorry if I sound very negative, but it's my reality.

 

[Ziggy]

When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired,
Seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you.

Justifying wickedness with self pity won't cut it.
I will be praying for you
Hugs

 

[stunnedbygrace]

It's not that I don't trust God, it's myself that I don't trust. My heart is incredibly bad. There is nothing good, nothing for God inside.

Well then, this is the revelation we each must have, So you are in a good place and God has blessed you greatly.
This is not some strange trial you are going through. It is very ordinary for us who He calls and it is necessary, which you will soon see if you don’t faint.

You are lamenting about God having shown you the truth about yourself and yet it is the truth and walking in the truth that sets you free! So after you are done mourning over what you are, rejoice that He healed your blindness and begin to run your race of trust to win!

 

[Lambano]

I want to want that's for sure, but I don't know if I truly want Him. I keep praying that he changes my heart, that he makes my humble, loving, childlike, etc.

Those are all good things to pray for.

Now, can you trust that He loves you BEFORE you see those changes in yourself?