Well…it’s like, he taught that you could be sinning outwardly but not sinning in your spirit. I read that in his book. He wrote it. I had a vehement reaction against that. But during his trial, they used his journals, which they seized, and they showed that he and some woman in the (order, would you call it?) had been carrying on for years, as had some others he’d taught. And that’s the danger of thinking you do not sin or cant sin. The only thing I can surmise is that they thought they were somewhere they weren’t, thought the body didn’t matter at all, and…got really, really sideways? There are people in here who say they don’t sin and that they CANT sin and maybe that’s how Molinos looked at it, seems so. I don’t even try to talk to people who say that, how could I possibly help them?
I know from experience that some things can come roaring back, even WORSE than before, and some things you never really had a great problem with can start happening, and you are helpless before them. I was having a problem with food all of a sudden a few weeks ago. I couldn’t stop eating for…about 3 nights (and days, but much worse at night). It was insane and puzzling and I had no control whatsoever over it. The harder I tried to stop it and fight it, the worse it got. It felt like it was something being DONE to me against my will rather than me doing it. But whichever or whatever, it disturbed me. I didn’t just think, oh well, I’m not sinning in my spirit so it doesn’t matter. I just did as I have become accustomed to doing and I said, Lord, I do NOT understand what is happening but I see I am absolutely helpless here and I trust You.
I did not like it or consent to it. I did not carry on in it as if it didn’t matter at all. Was it me sinning? I don’t know. I only know I was helpless against it and it felt like an assault. And it stopped after I said that prayer.
I don’t know anyone to ask who would know about it and I haven’t found it in any of the books I read. I did think, after my problem,maybe there was something to what he said, in theory, but horribly wrong in practice, but…I don’t know.