Reaction Formation

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marks

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That's when a person secretly is or does or believes something that they feel is wrong or unacceptable, so they go to extremes in the opposite direction so no one will know. (OK, simplified, but easy to research.)

An example is when someone who secretly drinks too much is the loudest voice against drinking, so no one will suspect they themselves are guilty.

Reaction formation may also be characterized as being ‘inflexible.’ The inflexibility is caused by the fear that the truth may be revealed. In order to make sure this never happens, the individual will act a certain way all the time, often obsessing over it.

The behavior may come off to bystanders as a performance as the individual attempts to not only convince themselves, but those around them (which rarely proves to be successful). This exaggeration often comes from overcompensating for the guilt that the individual feels.

Reaction Formation: Understanding This Defense Mechanism | Thrive Talk
 
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Butterfly

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My daughter did this with smoking - she had posters up about anti smoking, always complained about the smell of cigarettes, found out my mother in law was providing her with cigarettes- thankfully she is older and wiser now and gave up about ten years ago !!
 
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Butterfly

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By the way, I realise you are talking about much deeper reaction formation - but it just reminded me of my daughter.
 
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marks

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By the way, I realise you are talking about much deeper reaction formation - but it just reminded me of my daughter.

But that's what I'm talking about, that's a good example.
 
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Butterfly

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But that's what I'm talking about, that's a good example.
It seemed quite a tame example !! Lol
I read the link- do you know I am trying to work out if I have been guilty of this at work - I am not good socially with some people- I do try to protect myself.
Also when my eating disorder was bad I know I felt shame and guilt , Definately tried to project a different impression !
Psychology fascinates me , learned a lot about myself when I started to work through things - interestingly enough, that was one of the amazing things that came out of my marriage ending- I had to self examine , and allow the Holy Spirit to ' search me ' - it was painful, but so rewarding x
 
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marks

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It seemed quite a tame example !! Lol
I read the link- do you know I am trying to work out if I have been guilty of this at work - I am not good socially with some people- I do try to protect myself.
Also when my eating disorder was bad I know I felt shame and guilt , Definately tried to project a different impression !
Psychology fascinates me , learned a lot about myself when I started to work through things - interestingly enough, that was one of the amazing things that came out of my marriage ending- I had to self examine , and allow the Holy Spirit to ' search me ' - it was painful, but so rewarding x

I've been through a lot of recovery myself. My wife and I remain fascinated with the human mind. At the end of the day, it's faith in Jesus that brings healing, bit still, it can help us to understand why people are acting the way they are, including ourselvs.

Much love!
 

farouk

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It seemed quite a tame example !! Lol
I read the link- do you know I am trying to work out if I have been guilty of this at work - I am not good socially with some people- I do try to protect myself.
Also when my eating disorder was bad I know I felt shame and guilt , Definately tried to project a different impression !
Psychology fascinates me , learned a lot about myself when I started to work through things - interestingly enough, that was one of the amazing things that came out of my marriage ending- I had to self examine , and allow the Holy Spirit to ' search me ' - it was painful, but so rewarding x
Glad you are doing better with your eating disorder. I guess that your experience has sanctified you to be able to help others who still have similar afflictions.
 

farouk

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That's when a person secretly is or does or believes something that they feel is wrong or unacceptable, so they go to extremes in the opposite direction so no one will know. (OK, simplified, but easy to research.)

An example is when someone who secretly drinks too much is the loudest voice against drinking, so no one will suspect they themselves are guilty.
Politicians do it all the time....
 
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Butterfly

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I use to be a befriended with a Christian ministry, ABC ( anorexia, bulimia and compulsive eating )
I understand bulimia more .
Aren't we all able to come alongside others who have walked similar paths , to have empathy and understanding , or at least that's how it should be.
I am also part of a divorce recovery ministry for women - but that would be frowned upon by many here wouldn't it !!
How can anyone truly come alongside another hurting person if they have never encountered the struggles themselves, that's what many Christians lack - compassion and empathy. Jesus had both x
 

farouk

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Psychology fascinates me , learned a lot about myself when I started to work through things - interestingly enough, that was one of the amazing things that came out of my marriage ending- I had to self examine , and allow the Holy Spirit to ' search me ' - it was painful, but so rewarding x
Interesting that psychology absorbs you: maybe you have given a lot of thought in relation to psychological analysis of various aspect of your experience: health disorders, family life in its complexity, tattoos, workplace experiences, etc., i.e, the whys as well as the whats, so to speak?

Asking why can be many faceted and sometimes a bit tricky.

You are right that the Lord searches the heart. (Jeremiah 17.10).
 
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Butterfly

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Interesting that psychology absorbs you: maybe you have given a lot of thought in relation to psychological analysis of various aspect of your experience: health disorders, family life in its complexity, tattoos, workplace experiences, etc., i.e, the whys as well as the whats, so to speak?

Asking why can be many faceted and sometimes a bit tricky.

You are right that the Lord searches the heart. (Jeremiah 17.10).
I did not say it absorbs me, I said it fascinates me - there is a difference, absorbs gives the impression of being slightly obsessed with it xx
 

farouk

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I did not say it absorbs me, I said it fascinates me - there is a difference, absorbs gives the impression of being slightly obsessed with it xx
Really? :) I would have thought that an absorbing subject and a fascinating subject would be terms involving fairly straightforward synonyms. I guess family life, health disorders, .....(etc.) can both absorb and fascinate.

But you must know how these words appeal to you or otherwise...

In the end enlightened wisdom from Scripture is the key to a sound analysis, as I'm sure you would agree.
 
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stunnedbygrace

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That's when a person secretly is or does or believes something that they feel is wrong or unacceptable, so they go to extremes in the opposite direction so no one will know. (OK, simplified, but easy to research.)

An example is when someone who secretly drinks too much is the loudest voice against drinking, so no one will suspect they themselves are guilty.

Or like...when someone filled with resentments and anger is most vocally for the letter of the law...but its not exactly the same, because in reaction formation they know what they are doing, deceiving others, but in my example they themselves are ALSO deceived as they deceive others...
 
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marks

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Or like...when someone filled with resentments and anger is most vocally for the letter of the law...but its not exactly the same, because in reaction formation they know what they are doing, deceiving others, but in my example they themselves are ALSO deceived as they deceive others...

Hi stunnedbygrace,

To me this speaks to the internal conflicts we feel, knowing what we know, and feeling what we feel, and thinking what we think.

The challenge imo is to be authentic in all regards, and that requires that we know ourselves, and that can be so very difficult sometimes.

So that the one who feels least able to keep the law becomes the most vocal to require the keeping of the law. Not saying that anyone who promotes law keeping is guilty. But of course we all are guilty by that rule, and knowing this truth can introduce an internal conflict, that sometimes 'resolves' in this way.

Sometimes how harsh people are on others is only a hint of how harsh they are on themselves.

Take for example the person who teaches the Holiness doctrine, that the true spiritual Christian does not ever commit sin. What happens when they find that they do sin? What happens when thesis meets antithesis? If both are held as true - a real Christian never commits sin - and - while I count myself a Christian, I just sinned - then this must either result in synthesis - a newly understood truth, our actual standing with God, or it will remain in conflict.

Much love!
Mark
 
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Butterfly

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Really? :) I would have thought that an absorbing subject and a fascinating subject would be terms involving fairly straightforward synonyms. I guess family life, health disorders, .....(etc.) can both absorb and fascinate.

But you must know how these words appeal to you or otherwise...

In the end enlightened wisdom from Scripture is the key to a sound analysis, as I'm sure you would agree.
I think words can conjure up different impression to people xx
I think there is a place for both Psychology and scripture. We are called to renew our minds, which is definately where scripture is paramount, but I believe it is vital that we understand ourselves - The Holy Spirit used psychology to help me to know what wrong foundations I had within- they needed to be broken down and replaced with truth. Abuse in childhood had laid some really wrong foundations with how I felt about myself , which in turn led to the eating disorder developing. By the time I had become a Christian at the age of 24 I had pushed down so much into my sub concious and many scriptural truths I just couldn't claim for myself. I knew they were true, but not for me.
Gradually the Lord enabled me to allow the past to surface, through triggers -and rather than push them away, I faced them. Gradually I could see the lies I had been fed, renounced them, and eventually I was able to claim scriptural truth.
For me inner healing took years, for others it may be instant - God moves in different ways with each of us.
I still have inner anxieties, understanding them enables me to understand what I am reacting to- and helps me not to react in the here and now if I know it's a trigger from the past. So understanding my own psychology was liberating - how I think, and why I think, how I respond ect was fascinating x
Sorry I definately am waffling this time.......
 

farouk

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I think words can conjure up different impression to people xx
I think there is a place for both Psychology and scripture. We are called to renew our minds, which is definately where scripture is paramount, but I believe it is vital that we understand ourselves - The Holy Spirit used psychology to help me to know what wrong foundations I had within- they needed to be broken down and replaced with truth. Abuse in childhood had laid some really wrong foundations with how I felt about myself , which in turn led to the eating disorder developing. By the time I had become a Christian at the age of 24 I had pushed down so much into my sub concious and many scriptural truths I just couldn't claim for myself. I knew they were true, but not for me.
Gradually the Lord enabled me to allow the past to surface, through triggers -and rather than push them away, I faced them. Gradually I could see the lies I had been fed, renounced them, and eventually I was able to claim scriptural truth.
For me inner healing took years, for others it may be instant - God moves in different ways with each of us.
I still have inner anxieties, understanding them enables me to understand what I am reacting to- and helps me not to react in the here and now if I know it's a trigger from the past. So understanding my own psychology was liberating - how I think, and why I think, how I respond ect was fascinating x
Sorry I definately am waffling this time.......
No, it's very worthwhile and interesting; you write very thoughtfully. I guess Scripture informed reflection and analysis of various aspects of one's experience — health disorders (ultimately liberating?), family life in its complexity (ultimately liberating?), tattoos (ultimately liberating?), workplace experiences, etc. (ultimately liberating?) — can bring to light the reason why one does things.

The verse in Jeremiah that came to mind was about the Lord searching the heart; and it seems from your various comments that you have thought carefully from Scripture about why you have done things.

There is a sense in which the person who is truly subject to the Lord's revealed will is truly liberated, and in that sense I am sure you aspire continually to be a liberated woman.
 
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Butterfly

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No, it's very worthwhile and interesting; you write very thoughtfully. I guess Scripture informed reflection and analysis of various aspects of one's experience — health disorders (ultimately liberating?), family life in its complexity (ultimately liberating?), tattoos (ultimately liberating?), workplace experiences, etc. (ultimately liberating?) — can bring to light the reason why one does things.

The verse in Jeremiah that came to mind was about the Lord searching the heart; and it seems from your various comments that you have thought carefully from Scripture about why you have done things.

There is a sense in which the person who is truly subject to the Lord's revealed will is truly liberated, and in that sense I am sure you aspire continually to be a liberated woman.
Thank you.
Now I find the ' I am sure you aspire to be a liberated women ' interesting have to think on that one. Is that what I aspire to........ Hmmm , I mean can any Christian really be liberated - don't we aspire more to needing Christ and submitting. Is liberated the same as experiencing freedom in Christ
!!!
You have started a train of thought Farouk, but it's not in line with this thread, and it's nearly one in the morning - better get some sleep xx
Rita
 
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