Divorce and Remarriage

[Soverign Grace]

He told us He’d wear out the saints

That's for sure. I need a breather but the Lord seems to think I can handle it all; I guess I'm the one not so sure. I keep thinking of my theme song: "Running on empty..."

 

[Waiting on him]

Never heard that one

 

[Soverign Grace]

If you have the money, pay the vet bill as a testimony to them.

I'm in the middle of an inheritance which the executor isn't handling right, but I will sooner receive $0 than put the relationship at risk.

Unbelievers may take advantage of our good will, just the same, I believe this is the will of our Father in heaven.

If you can't afford the bill, maybe offer them something towards it.

But money is one of the least of things in God's eyes.

I always love the story of King Amaziah. He hired Israel mercenaries, but the prophet told him not to. "What about the 1000 talents I've already paid?" The prophet answered for the Lord, "Don't you know I have much more than that I can give to you?"

You can be gracious about it. Yeah, it sounds like they don't deserve it, but neither did I.

Take this with a grain of salt. Remember the many counselors thing.

Much love!
Mark

Edit to add . . . the more I read through the thread, the less certain I am . . .

Thanks for your input. It's a tough call but my husband said something similar - that if we pay some of it then God may bless us. Every job I've ever had was hard - I had no cushy jobs so money is hard to give up especially with the way they're handling it. But we'll see. I think it's another spiritual attack.

 

[Waiting on him]

That's for sure. I need a breather but the Lord seems to think I can handle it all; I guess I'm the one not so sure. I keep thinking of my theme song: "Running on empty..."

The thing is, He performs it

 

[Soverign Grace]

There's no question that the people are unreasonable. The only solution would be to allow no one in the roaming vicinity of her cat to own a dog.

There's no question that its unreasonable.

Sorry Helen I missed your post and can't find it to respond so I hope you see this. Yes I did look it up yesterday and read that it's dogs instinct to attack cats. I spoke with a lawyer and he said the neighbor is wrong - that all we were doing was walking the dog in our own yard. He said we did nothing wrong - we were supervising the dog. He said arguably if anyone did wrong it's the neighbor who let their cat wander. So I told them that. The dog is a Rottweiler and I read that they're know to attack smaller animals.

 

[Soverign Grace]

I love that song! I never knew the name of it but can recall hearing it on the radio way back when.

Music hath charms that soothe the soul...

 

[Soverign Grace]

The thing is, He performs it

Well I'm waiting for Him to act. I know we all have crosses to bear but some people seem to bear heavier crosses than others and I feel like "some people"

 

[Waiting on him]

Well I'm waiting for Him to act. I know we all have crosses to bear but some people seem to bear heavier crosses than others and I feel like "some people"

Possibly one day you’ll make an excellent judge

 

[Soverign Grace]

People are trouble and the less you have to do with them the less trouble you have. You can still be kind and witness or help. But schmoozing gets you nowhere but in deeper.

You know I see why people move into a remote area - people are trouble. I've seen more in the last year how sinful people are and how they excuse their sins, lie about it, and point the finger - even Christians. I try hard to live the way Christ wants. There comes a time however when I don't think it exalts God to let a sinner make inroads into your life. As Dear Abby said: "You don't turn the other cheek if the first one is black and blue." That isn't in the bible but it makes sense. Pandering to another's sin doesn't glorify God. It doesn't glorify God to go along with a lie. My husband worked very hard out in the bitter cold during freezing temperatures and in the sweltering heat in the summer. He got up at 3:15 a.m. every morning and went to work with a bad back and bad knees. It hurt when I would hear him get up that hour. He had to take over paying for both of us after I got hurt. So now I'm supposed to take from his hard labor and hand it to a neighbor who refuses to acknowledge the truth; that their cat was in our yard? I don't know if that glorifies God. My husband said maybe God will bless us if we pay it. But I don't know - I like to pray about things and wait.

I can't wait to get to heaven where all sin will be gone because I've about had my fill. Satan surely is wearing out the Saints.

Revelation 12:12

“Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.”

 

[Soverign Grace]

Possibly one day you’ll make an excellent judge

Thanks for the much-needed smile I hope God uses my rough experiences for some good - I'd hate to see all this grief go to waste

 

[Waiting on him]

Thanks for the much-needed smile I hope God uses my rough experiences for some good - I'd hate to see all this grief go to waste

It’s what this is all about as VIJ said to learn obedience through sufferings.

 

[Waiting on him]

It’s what this is all about as VIJ said to learn obedience through sufferings.

Count it all joy SG

 

[Dave L]

You know I see why people move into a remote area - people are trouble. I've seen more in the last year how sinful people are and how they excuse their sins, lie about it, and point the finger - even Christians. I try hard to live the way Christ wants. There comes a time however when I don't think it exalts God to let a sinner make inroads into your life. As Dear Abby said: "You don't turn the other cheek if the first one is black and blue." That isn't in the bible but it makes sense. Pandering to another's sin doesn't glorify God. It doesn't glorify God to go along with a lie. My husband worked very hard out in the bitter cold during freezing temperatures and in the sweltering heat in the summer. He got up at 3:15 a.m. every morning and went to work with a bad back and bad knees. It hurt when I would hear him get up that hour. He had to take over paying for both of us after I got hurt. So now I'm supposed to take from his hard labor and hand it to a neighbor who refuses to acknowledge the truth; that their cat was in our yard? I don't know if that glorifies God. My husband said maybe God will bless us if we pay it. But I don't know - I like to pray about things and wait.

I can't wait to get to heaven where all sin will be gone because I've about had my fill. Satan surely is wearing out the Saints.

Revelation 12:12

“Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.”

My wife and I went without a phone for several months, using only email. So if anyone wanted to reach us, they had to either travel or use email. Tranquility prevailed and the greatest level of peace we ever knew followed. We finally bought a flip phone to resolve our stolen credit card issues. But no one has the number except the dentist.

 

[stunnedbygrace]

I thought yesterday that you're really walking the walk by offering me money. That was really nice. I would never accept it however. Every job I've ever had took a lot out of me to earn it. Money never came easy and I don't think it comes easy to anyone else.

I spoke with a lawyer who told me that the neighbor is wrong. He said that we did nothing wrong; we walked the dog in our own yard and the dog was not unsupervised. He said arguably if anyone is at fault it's the neighbor because they let their cat wander anywhere where it could be attacked by an animal, hit by a car etc. So I felt vindicated.

I was hurt because of the way they acted and I told them so. I'm too old and too tired to mince words.

We're probably still going to pay part of the bill. My husband said maybe God will bless us by paying it. I guess it's very hard because my medical bills are astronomical and they're both getting good government pensions. I know two people who committed suicide because they didn't have the money to pay for their care. In America if you can't pay you don't get care. So that is in the back of my mind. I can still hear my friend's anxious voice when she called me upset because she couldn't afford her cancer medication which was $1k a pill. At the time I had no medical issues so I brushed it off and told her to look online. The next thing I heard was a mutual friend telling me she died. I knew she ended her life; we had talked about it many times and she said she'd never go in a nursing home.

I think I erred by not getting my point across to you that there was never any doubt that you had done nothing wrong. Everyone in here will agree with me. You did nothing wrong. The fault was hers.

Giving your shirt as well doesn't have to do with you being in the wrong.

And this testing you are in is about what testings always are. God has taken you out of the fire your fasting put you in to look at His work. To show what dross remains. To show where more testing/burning of the metal is necessary. This is Gods work in you. It's what He does. Its how He works the virtues into us, by burning off the dross.

Mark my words, even though you cannot believe this is possible, one day soon you will come to thank Him for these two very difficult and unreasonable people because through them, as instruments in His hand, great good will come to your soul.

You had been asking the way to walking in the Spirit and feeling more close to God. This is the way towards that, by His work, not ours.

 

[Waiting on him]

My wife and I went without a phone for several months, using only email. So if anyone wanted to reach us, they had to either travel or use email. Tranquility prevailed and the greatest level of peace we ever knew followed. We finally bought a flip phone to resolve our stolen credit card issues. But no one has the number except the dentist.

Dave I buried my uncle yesterday. Hundreds of people turned out to say goodbye. There was a common theme between everyone who spoke of him including me, when you would call him he would always answer “hello my friend. “
He was a devout Christian man and touched the lives of everyone he came in contact with. Always kind.

 

[stunnedbygrace]

Well I'm waiting for Him to act. I know we all have crosses to bear but some people seem to bear heavier crosses than others and I feel like "some people"

There is no man my heart goes out to more than the one God has put His finger on and begun to test more heavily. I understand his (her) miseries. There is also no man I have more joy for either, because I have the benefit of hindsight in the matter.

The truth is, He is only touching you very gently. The truth also is that it doesn't feel gentle.

Take heart, He treats all His friends this way.

 

[Soverign Grace]

It’s what this is all about as VIJ said to learn obedience through sufferings.

Looks like I must be pretty obedient

I know we're being conformed to the image of Christ. I know it's no walk in the park. The Scripture that always troubled me was "...Everyone who lives godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution." God was not kidding and it's no candy land suffering a day and it's over. These are very hard, protracted struggles, the kind that take your breath away, use your energy up until there is hardly any left; the kind that make you feel you're on the edge of a precipice and hanging by your fingernails.

What I have seen these past few years is how dark others hearts are. After I was injured I went through the ringer. (Beware of foreign doctors) Throughout that time, a sister who I had shared a room with growing up and we were good friends got her back up in the air because I told her to stop contacting my children because she was causing trouble. Because I did that she threatened to take some of my inheritance and she tried. She found a corrupt lawyer and they tormented me for 11 months. A friend was shocked and said "she's frightening." I think Satan took control of her heart and mind and she turned to complete hatred. Satan entered her just like he did Judas Iscariot.

I saw how even one I had a close relationship could be dark-hearted. The lawyer threatened me and I stood up against them. He belonged to the top law firm in the area and tried every trick in the book to cower me. I've had many battles and am a seasoned warrior and that lawyer was shocked that I didn't buckle to his threats of suing me - in fact I saved the threats which were in writing and they helped me win. I already didn't like his boss. They were liars; oh, and his boss calls himself a christian. The lawyer and my ex-sibling lied profusely. I prayed and went to court. I thought the judge was going to be corrupt because the lawyers are big man on campus in the legal community. I faced it during a time I was going through very rough medical issues. I walked in there with my wheelchair with only my husband. The sister had another very evil sibling there who had done me great evil; a hag who I pray God will remove from the earth before she harms another. She had a signed statement from my brother lying. (I had a very evil family. My brother is also a Christian) They had a corrupt lawyer in the probate office who "lost" my brief and told me my case was over. Still I fought through and filed a motion out of time. I had everything against me.

When I got before the judge she was remarkable. She spoke very kindly to me and told me that she read everything I sent her and that she believes me. What vindication. I thought it was going to be corrupt since an officer told me there isn't a court in our state that isn't corrupt. The lying lawyer stood and started to speak and the judge snapped at him, humiliating him in front of a roomful of people. She snapped: "I don't need to hear from you!" He and the two evil siblings slunk out of there. I looked directly in the lying lawyers eyes and he turned away - he couldn't look me in the eye.

My husband said all the lawyers in the room are going to talk about it and how a non-lawyer kicked Mr. x's rear-end on his turf, in his business. Victory was indeed very sweet, but it was a mortal struggle to get there.

So even in my rough trials I have seen God's Hand move. Yet there are other things that I've been laboring in prayer for. They're the things that make my walk hard. Unanswered...as yet...prayer.

Has anyone heard the verse "pray until you touch the throne?" That's what I've been trying to do.

 

[Soverign Grace]

There is no man my heart goes out to more than the one God has put His finger on and begun to test more heavily. I understand his (her) miseries. There is also no man I have more joy for either, because I have the benefit of hindsight in the matter.

The truth is, He is only touching you very gently. The truth also is that it doesn't feel gentle.

Take heart, He treats all His friends this way.

Ahh good - a realist. I cringe when I happen to hear a TV pastor tell captive audiences how great their lives will be after accepting Christ. I was badly misled early on and struggled to understand why things didn't happen as the preachers aid. The TRUTH is that you signed up for hardship and were drafted into a war and you now inherited a cunning enemy you didn't have before. And he and his mercenaries seek to steal, kill, and destroy you. He dogs the steps of the saints. It's a hard walk. Sometimes the battle gets fierce and sometimes it's loooooong and drawn out and takes all the strength you have.

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

 

[stunnedbygrace]

He will use unreasonable people to work even the smallest amount of humility into us and to grow our trust.

 

[Soverign Grace]

I think I erred by not getting my point across to you that there was never any doubt that you had done nothing wrong. Everyone in here will agree with me. You did nothing wrong. The fault was hers.

Giving your shirt as well doesn't have to do with you being in the wrong.

And this testing you are in is about what testings always are. God has taken you out of the fire your fasting put you in to look at His work. To show what dross remains. To show where more testing/burning of the metal is necessary. This is Gods work in you. It's what He does. Its how He works the virtues into us, by burning off the dross.

Mark my words, even though you cannot believe this is possible, one day soon you will come to thank Him for these two very difficult and unreasonable people because through them, as instruments in His hand, great good will come to your soul.

You had been asking the way to walking in the Spirit and feeling more close to God. This is the way towards that, by His work, not ours.

Yes it confused me at first. After I spoke with the lawyer he confirmed that we were not at fault. He said we were 100% in the right, that we were supervising the dog. He said if anything, the neighbor was at fault. It made me angry that she was condemning us and accepted no responsibility. My husband said "You think we're responsible for this entire bill even though your cat was in our yard." And she said "Yes. You can't keep a cat in your yard." It was ridiculous. So we're at fault and are bound to pay her cat's vet bills because she can't keep her cat in her yard? And we are to incur her vet bills merely for walking a dog in our own yard? I would have felt ashamed of myself if our pet was in their yard and their dog attacked it. I would accept blame because the pet was in their yard. $1500 is a lot of money - at least for me. I had to work very hard for any money I ever got.

She said they "didn't sign a complaint based on my husband's agreement to pay the vet bills." It was very prideful and manipulative and I don't like being manipulated; that's like a Jezebel. Then she said that they "allowed us to remove the dog from the premises and didn't have the court have him euthanized as a favor to us and tried quoting the law - because her husband was a lawyer. It really struck me wrong. She elevated herself to the place of judge, jury, and executioners, and claimed she was the victim - even though their cat was trespassing and my husband walked the dog in our own yard. The cat sliced the dogs face and he bled a big puddle in our room. We chose not to take him to the vets ($$$) but we could have run up a bill and handed it to them. It was utterly ridiculous. My husband thinks she gave the vet carte blanche because she didn't think she had to pay it. Believe me - I watch every penny because if it was me, I would be hovering over that vet to ensure he didn't overcharge me. The neighbor exercised no such oversight because she thought that we were paying the bill.

They both get nice public pensions. They are financially better off than we are. We were on one salary for awhile and I worked when I shouldn't have - I cried on the way to work and cried on the way home because I was in so much pain; but the bills keep coming. It's not like they're hurting for money which is why I can't understand her. Why is she trying to get us to pay her cat's vet bills? I think it's really pushy and wrong. I just don't know if it glorifies God to go along with a lie that WE are the ones at fault. I would be, in essence, going along with a lie. It would feed their pride too as "the wronged ones." If we enforce their delusion by giving in to their demands than we're going along with their lie that WE are at fault, and we just have to accept her explanation that "they can't keep their cat in their yard." It would also feed their pride that they hold the power of life and death over the dog so we'd better pay their cat's vet bills or they may seek to have the dog euthanized." My husband got annoyed and said let them take it to court. But he's more of a politicker than me and he would have paid half the bill. It takes a lot to get him angry but he pushes back if he's pushed too far. That's pretty sick of the neighbor to threaten that. And it's pretty sick and manipulative to try to convince us that they are the ones in the right because they know the law. It's pure manipulation and I've dealt with manipulators - my ex-family and others.

Show me a dog who doesn't chase a cat. She's trying to say the dog is vicious. My husband drove halfway across the country to give our relative the dog because the neighbors demanded that we get him out of the neighborhood. Most people would have told them to go pound sand. We handled it in a Christian manner, understanding that they were upset so my husband drove far - leaving me here alone; without a car - to appease them. The relative drove the other half and both incurred high tolls and spent a lot on gas. They both slept at rest stops to save money. But that wasn't good enough for the neighbors. I told her the more we give the more they demand. We lost money on all the gas and tolls but now they're demanding that we pay the full vet bill. I just don't think that it's glorifying God by letting them hide behind a lie that they're without fault.

This may be a test and it may be the evil one dogging our steps again. I have been growing since being backslidden. After I was injured I turned my back on God. I came back but it's hard that He knows the hard path I walk.

I'm glad you reminded me of the Scripture "He disciplines his sons..." it helps to keep in mind that this trial has a purpose. Just sometimes it's hard to know what to do. I honestly don't know if it's right to pay their bill or not. James Dobson said when seeking God's answers to don't do anything; give God a chance to speak. So that's what I'm doing. Sometimes God will use another believer; something they say strikes a cord deep within. So I'm hoping that happens.