Sharing Deep Personal Sins in a Group Session

Paul Christensen · May 23, 2026

I was once associated with a discipleship group similar to the theology of YWAM. There was a practice during group prayer sessions where participants were pressured to confess sins to the group. Often the confessions were deep personal, often sexual sins. These were embarrassing and very demeaning for the people pressured into confession.

In reality, there is no Scriptural basis for this type of group public confession. Confession of sin is to God alone. Confessing of faults to brothers and sisters in Christ is not of sins that were nailed to cross with Christ and where Christ has taken upon Himself the penalty and guilt of sin. We confess our sins to God because He is the One who forgives and cleanses from all unrighteousness.
After prayer, I realised that pressure from a group leader to confess deep private sexual sins comes not from the Holy Spirit, but a voyeur spirit. A voyeur spirit induces sexual gratification from hearing about the sexual sins and experiences of others. The voyeur spirit can influence a group leader, and also others in the group who get their sexual jollies out of hearing accounts of sexual sins.

I believe that any in a group who are pressure to confess personal sins, especially sexual ones, should not cooperate and be prepared to walk away from the group if necessary. A group leader demonized by a voyeur spirit should pray to be delivered from that spirit. They may not be addicted to online pornography, but they can be in bondage to pornography in their own imagination, especially as a result of hearing about the sexual sins of others.

I am posting this to warn brothers and sisters in Christ not to participate in this type of group pornography and voyeurism, and to keep themselves pure from talking about and hearing sinful material that was forgiven, cleanses, cancelled and forgotten by God, buried in the deepest sea of his forgetfulness.

Also, forcing group participants to confess embarrassing personal sins, is a type of spiritual abuse. It is a type of bullying by leaders who should know better. Leaders like this do not represent Christ, and should be resisted in the same way that believer should resist the devil.

SavedInHim · May 23, 2026

Paul Christensen said:
I was once associated with a discipleship group similar to the theology of YWAM. There was a practice during group prayer sessions where participants were pressured to confess sins to the group. Often the confessions were deep personal, often sexual sins. These were embarrassing and very demeaning for the people pressured into confession.

In reality, there is no Scriptural basis for this type of group public confession. Confession of sin is to God alone. Confessing of faults to brothers and sisters in Christ is not of sins that were nailed to cross with Christ and where Christ has taken upon Himself the penalty and guilt of sin. We confess our sins to God because He is the One who forgives and cleanses from all unrighteousness.
After prayer, I realised that pressure from a group leader to confess deep private sexual sins comes not from the Holy Spirit, but a voyeur spirit. A voyeur spirit induces sexual gratification from hearing about the sexual sins and experiences of others. The voyeur spirit can influence a group leader, and also others in the group who get their sexual jollies out of hearing accounts of sexual sins.

I believe that any in a group who are pressure to confess personal sins, especially sexual ones, should not cooperate and be prepared to walk away from the group if necessary. A group leader demonized by a voyeur spirit should pray to be delivered from that spirit. They may not be addicted to online pornography, but they can be in bondage to pornography in their own imagination, especially as a result of hearing about the sexual sins of others.

I am posting this to warn brothers and sisters in Christ not to participate in this type of group pornography and voyeurism, and to keep themselves pure from talking about and hearing sinful material that was forgiven, cleanses, cancelled and forgotten by God, buried in the deepest sea of his forgetfulness.

Also, forcing group participants to confess embarrassing personal sins, is a type of spiritual abuse. It is a type of bullying by leaders who should know better. Leaders like this do not represent Christ, and should be resisted in the same way that believer should resist the devil.

I believe there's a time and a place for such things; but no one should be forced.

When I was younger, I struggled intensely with sexual sin. The church back then was very uncomfortable talking about such things. I tried many times to share my struggle with others but it made them so uncomfortable I finally stopped and regretted even mentioning it. Thankfully, today it's not such a taboo subject; but still, I wouldn't share anything too personal or specific, only generalities. Today, the main problem you'll have is if you try to confide in clergy or elders they'll have the same problem and can't offer any useful help.

Lambano · May 23, 2026

If you have one brother or sister you can trust to confess your sins to and hold you accountable, consider yourself blessed.

Lambano · May 23, 2026

It was a holiday weekend, so attendance at our adult Sunday School class was sparce - just me and two of the women, one young and never married; the other older and divorced. The subject was the James 5:16 quote above and confession of sins and accountability groups. The two ladies started conversing with each other about the sexual temptations they faced as single women in this society. Some of it was pretty juicy. Then they remembered that a man was in the room and the older one asked me about my sins. Without blinking an eye, I told them that one of my sins was that I like to gossip.

David Lamb · May 23, 2026

Lambano said:
If you have one brother or sister you can trust to confess your sins to and hold you accountable, consider yourself blessed.

I believe James there is referring to confessing to people we've sinned against, similar to what Jesus said about forgiving a repenting brother:

Lu 17:3 Take heed to yourselves. And if your brother sins against you, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.
Lu 17:4 And if he sins against you seven times in [a] day, and seven times in [a] day returns to you, saying, I repent, you shall forgive him.

Re James 5:16, I agree with what John Gill wrote in his commentary on that verse:

"Which must be understood of sins committed against one another; which should be acknowledged, and repentance for them declared, in order to mutual forgiveness and reconciliation."

Lambano · May 23, 2026

David Lamb said:
I believe James there is referring to confessing to people we've sinned against, similar to what Jesus said about forgiving a repenting brother:

Lu 17:3 Take heed to yourselves. And if your brother sins against you, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.
Lu 17:4 And if he sins against you seven times in [a] day, and seven times in [a] day returns to you, saying, I repent, you shall forgive him.

Re James 5:16, I agree with what John Gill wrote in his commentary on that verse:

"Which must be understood of sins committed against one another; which should be acknowledged, and repentance for them declared, in order to mutual forgiveness and reconciliation."

I'm approaching this more from a traditional Wesleyan perspective. John and Charles Wesley were members of a group called "The Holy Club" that would meet once a week and yes, hold each other accountable for their sins. (Even King David needed someone like Nathan to hold him accountable.) The same tradition has been passed down to Methodism. However, in the groups I've been a part of, I did not have that level of trust with the other members.

David Lamb · May 23, 2026

Lambano said:
I'm approaching this more from a traditional Wesleyan perspective. The Wesleys were part of a holiness group that would meet once a week and yes, hold each other accountable for their sins. Even King David needed someone like Nathan to hold him accountable. The same tradition has been passed down to Methodism. However, in the groups I've been a part of, I did not have that level of trust with the other members.

Thanks. I would say that Nathan was specifically told by God to go to David after the Bathsheba incident. And David's confession was to God, as he said in Psalm 51. It was Nathan that said to David, "You are the man." David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the Lord." I don't believe we can use Nathan and David as justification for confessing all our sins to one another.

ScottA · May 23, 2026

Paul Christensen said:
I was once associated with a discipleship group similar to the theology of YWAM. There was a practice during group prayer sessions where participants were pressured to confess sins to the group. Often the confessions were deep personal, often sexual sins. These were embarrassing and very demeaning for the people pressured into confession.

In reality, there is no Scriptural basis for this type of group public confession. Confession of sin is to God alone. Confessing of faults to brothers and sisters in Christ is not of sins that were nailed to cross with Christ and where Christ has taken upon Himself the penalty and guilt of sin. We confess our sins to God because He is the One who forgives and cleanses from all unrighteousness.
After prayer, I realised that pressure from a group leader to confess deep private sexual sins comes not from the Holy Spirit, but a voyeur spirit. A voyeur spirit induces sexual gratification from hearing about the sexual sins and experiences of others. The voyeur spirit can influence a group leader, and also others in the group who get their sexual jollies out of hearing accounts of sexual sins.

I believe that any in a group who are pressure to confess personal sins, especially sexual ones, should not cooperate and be prepared to walk away from the group if necessary. A group leader demonized by a voyeur spirit should pray to be delivered from that spirit. They may not be addicted to online pornography, but they can be in bondage to pornography in their own imagination, especially as a result of hearing about the sexual sins of others.

I am posting this to warn brothers and sisters in Christ not to participate in this type of group pornography and voyeurism, and to keep themselves pure from talking about and hearing sinful material that was forgiven, cleanses, cancelled and forgotten by God, buried in the deepest sea of his forgetfulness.

Also, forcing group participants to confess embarrassing personal sins, is a type of spiritual abuse. It is a type of bullying by leaders who should know better. Leaders like this do not represent Christ, and should be resisted in the same way that believer should resist the devil.

Yes, "confessing your sins to one another" means rather to confess to those you have sinned against, not to publicly.

Lambano · May 23, 2026

ScottA said:
Yes, "confessing your sins to one another" means rather to confess to those you have sinned against, not to publicly.

Given that it's paired with praying for one another (which is indiscriminate), I would have to disagree.

And without the proper level of trust, I would also have to disobey.

I note that the Catholic Church puts a high demand of confidentiality on its priests regarding the rite of confession, to the point that priests are obligated to disobey a secular court order (and risk being jailed on a contempt-of-court charge) rather than to disclose what was revealed in the confessional.

rockytopva · May 23, 2026

It is my experience that you can spend your lifetime doing good.... Mess up one time... And that is all people will want to remember you for.

And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. - Revelation 12:10

If I have imperfections I take them before God personally in prayer. If I had air my faults I would be afraid it would become fodder for the common gossip.

ScottA · May 23, 2026

Lambano said:
Given that it's paired with praying for one another (which is indiscriminate), I would have to disagree

So it may seem, but praying for one another is a charitable act where your right hand should not know what the left is doing. Matthew 6:3-4.

TitusTwoWife · May 23, 2026

ScottA said:
So it may seem, but praying for one another is a charitable act where your right hand should not know what the left is doing. Matthew 6:3-4.

Would you say all prayer should be private? Sometimes I wonder

ScottA · May 23, 2026

TitusTwoWife said:
Would you say all prayer should be private? Sometimes I wonder

Biblically there is both.

But the topic issue here, as I understand it, is that bearing YOUR SOUL is indeed meant to be private before God who reveals every hidden thing in his own way and time--but also covers according to His will (alone).

shepherdsword · May 24, 2026

I had a friend who has passed away. He wanted to get right with the Lord so he confessed some very personal things to a pastor. His confession got out and the gossip all but destroyed the man. He went through a terrible divorce and was taken for every cent he had. His daughter disowned him and there were whispers behind his back every place he went. It was very sad. I learned a lesson from him. Be very careful who you share things with.

PeterAndroz · May 24, 2026

shepherdsword said:
I had a friend who has passed away. He wanted to get right with the Lord so he confessed some very personal things to a pastor. His confession got out and the gossip all but destroyed the man. He went through a terrible divorce and was taken for every cent he had. His daughter disowned him and there were whispers behind his back every place he went. It was very sad. I learned a lesson from him. Be very careful who you share things with.

>>>>""so he confessed some very personal things to a pastor.
There is no need to do that 'today'.
Hopefully he placed his trust in only the death, burial & resurrection of Christ to have his sins forgiven

Paul Christensen · May 24, 2026

shepherdsword said:
I had a friend who has passed away. He wanted to get right with the Lord so he confessed some very personal things to a pastor. His confession got out and the gossip all but destroyed the man. He went through a terrible divorce and was taken for every cent he had. His daughter disowned him and there were whispers behind his back every place he went. It was very sad. I learned a lesson from him. Be very careful who you share things with.

Gossiping was a real problem in the large Charismatic church I used to attend in the 1970s. What used to happen was when people had counselling sessions with the elders (the church was elder run with a board of elders), the elder would engage in pillow talk with their wives. In turn, the wives would mention the details in prayer meetings in the guise of "praying" for the needs of those counselled. This is how personal private information got around the church. It was said that going for counselling with certain elders was the same as announcing it over the local radio station. This is what happens when people engage in personal counselling with untrained, non professional counsellors, who are not bound by ethical rules that all professional counsellors have to abide by.

If what happened to that person happened to me, I would engage the best lawyer I could and sue that church for serious damages and I would announce it to all and sundry the name of the pastor, his church,warning people not to trust him or anyone else in that church with personal information. In New Zealand we have the Privacy Act, and it is a criminal offence for anyone to use private and personal information to third parties without the person's express permission. So, I would do everything I could to make sure that pastor was prosecuted and punished to the full extent of the law.

ScottA · May 24, 2026

shepherdsword said:
I had a friend who has passed away. He wanted to get right with the Lord so he confessed some very personal things to a pastor. His confession got out and the gossip all but destroyed the man. He went through a terrible divorce and was taken for every cent he had. His daughter disowned him and there were whispers behind his back every place he went. It was very sad. I learned a lesson from him. Be very careful who you share things with.

Paul Christensen said:
Gossiping was a real problem in the large Charismatic church I used to attend in the 1970s. What used to happen was when people had counselling sessions with the elders (the church was elder run with a board of elders), the elder would engage in pillow talk with their wives. In turn, the wives would mention the details in prayer meetings in the guise of "praying" for the needs of those counselled. This is how personal private information got around the church. It was said that going for counselling with certain elders was the same as announcing it over the local radio station. This is what happens when people engage in personal counselling with untrained, non professional counsellors, who are not bound by ethical rules that all professional counsellors have to abide by.

If what happened to that person happened to me, I would engage the best lawyer I could and sue that church for serious damages and I would announce it to all and sundry the name of the pastor, his church,warning people not to trust him or anyone else in that church with personal information. In New Zealand we have the Privacy Act, and it is a criminal offence for anyone to use private and personal information to third parties without the person's express permission. So, I would do everything I could to make sure that pastor was prosecuted and punished to the full extent of the law.

This all comes under the greater plan of God to reveal every hidden thing--which is not to say that putting it out there is the thing to do.

On the contrary, if such secrets are never publicly announced or rumored, God has His own way of revealing it all anyway...or concealing it for that matter. But when others are involved in a gossipy form of revealing--it could even be said that the original sinner at the center of it all is taking one for the team--perhaps taking down or revealing the gossip sinners with them. But whichever way it goes, none of us are getting away with anything--God knows, and even if it would seem that our fate or reputation is in the hands of others--it is actually God's hands we are ultimately in.

But given a choice? I would much rather it all be in God's hands alone. After all, every sin is ultimately against God anyway.

shepherdsword · May 25, 2026

ScottA said:
This all comes under the greater plan of God to reveal every hidden thing--which is not to say that putting it out there is the thing to do.

On the contrary, if such secrets are never publicly announced or rumored, God has His own way of revealing it all anyway...or concealing it for that matter. But when others are involved in a gossipy form of revealing--it could even be said that the original sinner at the center of it all is taking one for the team--perhaps taking down or revealing the gossip sinners with them. But whichever way it goes, none of us are getting away with anything--God knows, and even if it would seem that our fate or reputation is in the hands of others--it is actually God's hands we are ultimately in.

But given a choice? I would much rather it all be in God's hands alone. After all, every sin is ultimately against God anyway.

I agree that every hidden thing will be revealed on the day of judgement. However, I see that as God's doing and not to be done through betrayal of confidence or one sided gossip by men. My friend ended up passing from cancer. I think a large part of that was the betrayal he experienced from someone he trusted. Thank god he ended up forgiving everyone that wronged him and asked for the forgiveness if those he wronged as well.

Behold · May 25, 2026

Christians should think twice before you go and share your evil past or evil current with some " loving church members", as they'll share it with everyone else, in most cases.
So, who can you talk to when your guilt burden is too heavy??....... Talk to the Pastor or the Assistant Pastor.

Always understand that "church people will talk" and if you give them a reason, they'll prove it to you in most cases..

Reader, its good to share your pain and your blessings, but you have to be careful when sharing that pain info, or it'll come back to bite you.

And FYI.........Whatever it is that is your secret, that you dont want anyone to find out about.............just remember that God saw you when you did it, and if you were born again when you did that deed, it changed nothing between you and Him.....= and how do you know?
Its because on the Day that GOD saved you, and made you His own.....>He already knew you would do that DEED, later.
And notice that God saved you ANYWAY.......

See that?

Remember that and remember that God's love for you is unconditional........ no performance or behavior modification necessary.
He Loves you because God is Love, and you are special to God.......always and forever.
In fact, if you were the only person in the world............just you alone down here........God would have still sent His Son for you, as God cares about you that much when you were a SINNER........so, this does not change when you become His born again child.
And you can thank God for His amazing Love and amazing Grace.

Sharing Deep Personal Sins in a Group Session

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