Scared

Kayla McCanny · May 23, 2026

I'm scared of my parents dying on me or getting dementia or something terrible like that. I'm almost 42. I have skitzaffective disorder as some of you skready know. Not married and my parents are my Guardians. I have no idea what I'd do without them. Who would take care of me. I very much want to get married one day. I'm not on a dating site because I want to wait until I am in a better state mental wise. Get this under control and overcome it with Jesus and minimum medication. Something that works, which at the moment nothing is. It went away for 12 years it can go away again. I don't want my parents to die or go to a nursing home. I can't feed for myself. I hope they have many more years a head of them. They aren't currently very health conscious people. Please pray for me.

Kayla McCanny · May 23, 2026

*fend*

PS95 · May 23, 2026

Kayla McCanny said:
*fend*

Please try not to focus on that. It will only cause you distress. Focus on good things. You can find them if you look! Make that your focus each day.

Debp · May 23, 2026

Kayla McCanny said:
*fend*

I don't understand what you mean by this.

Instead of worrying, pray for your parents to live longer. Pray the Lord will lead you and help you. Are your parents willing to make some healthy choices if you explain your concern for their health?

Also do you have a good church? One where the pastor and congregation are loving and helpful?

Lambano · May 23, 2026

Kayla McCanny said:
*fend*

Let's start with the easy part. You can click "edit" underneath your post, change "feed for myself" to "fend for myself", and then "save".

That's one of the things I like about this site - it gives you unlimited edits of your posts. Not all forum software allows that.

Lambano · May 23, 2026

Kayla McCanny said:
I'm scared of my parents dying on me or getting dementia or something terrible like that. I'm almost 42. I have skitzaffective disorder as some of you skready know. Not married and my parents are my Guardians. I have no idea what I'd do without them. Who would take care of me. I very much want to get married one day. I'm not on a dating site because I want to wait until I am in a better state mental wise. Get this under control and overcome it with Jesus and minimum medication. Something that works, which at the moment nothing is. It went away for 12 years it can go away again. I don't want my parents to die or go to a nursing home. I can't feed for myself. I hope they have many more years a head of them. They aren't currently very health conscious people. Please pray for me.

I hear you, because I've been in your parents' spot.

You're going to have to have a very uncomfortable conversation with your parents about this.

Question: Before the schiz-affective disorder came back, were you able to take care of yourself to some extent? That means having basic life-skills like holding a job, budgeting, planning meals, taking care of an apartment, doing laundry...?

And do you have a counselor you can talk to?

You and your parents have my prayers, Kayla.

Raccoon1010 · May 24, 2026

Kayla McCanny said:
I'm scared of my parents dying on me or getting dementia or something terrible like that. I'm almost 42. I have skitzaffective disorder as some of you skready know. Not married and my parents are my Guardians. I have no idea what I'd do without them. Who would take care of me. I very much want to get married one day. I'm not on a dating site because I want to wait until I am in a better state mental wise. Get this under control and overcome it with Jesus and minimum medication. Something that works, which at the moment nothing is. It went away for 12 years it can go away again. I don't want my parents to die or go to a nursing home. I can't feed for myself. I hope they have many more years a head of them. They aren't currently very health conscious people. Please pray for me.

The situation you speak of can be a problem. You 42 and them, parents, older.

I see you live east. I think it's a wonderful area to live in? Good country over there.

Let me know what help you need? I will seek the lord on your behalf.

You can send private message if you want.

I hope your state and country help if you are disabled.

Good prayers!

Devin

Kayla McCanny · May 24, 2026

Lambano said:
I hear you, because I've been in your parents' spot.

You're going to have to have a very uncomfortable conversation with your parents about this.

Question: Before the schiz-affective disorder came back, were you able to take care of yourself to some extent? That means having basic life-skills like holding a job, budgeting, planning meals, taking care of an apartment, doing laundry...?

And do you have a counselor you can talk to?

You and your parents have my prayers, Kayla.

I started having problems after I had chemo after my college graduation. After a few years it went away and I was doing great and could be independent. I had a job and drove my car and was fine for 12 years. Then I has a seizure and could no longer drive and about a year ago the audible hallucinations (demonic oppression) came back full force. Messing with my nervous system as well. I have to completely rely on my parents. When I have an episode I go limp and have to lay down. My heart races. I sweat sometimes, I get flight or fight anxiety through the roof where I am barely breathing. I can't concentrate, hold a conversation and I become disoriented not knowing what I am doing if I am looking for something. My mom has had to dress me 3 times for bed this year. I have been to the hospital, but they can't accept me if I can't dress myself. My eyes are all over the place when this happens so I close them shut as best as I can and pray my heart out. It always happens around 4 or 6pm, but it has happened right when I wake up before. I have lost a few nights of sleep this year too because it was so bad. So I am dependent on them. The psychtrist and staff are trying to find me a counselor where my insurance covers. It's been several months without hearing from them. They said they are pending and still working on it. I prefer a Christian woman counselor so that could be one reason besides insurance needed to cover it.

Kayla McCanny · May 24, 2026

Raccoon1010 said:
The situation you speak of can be a problem. You 42 and them, parents, older.

I see you live east. I think it's a wonderful area to live in? Good country over there.

Let me know what help you need? I will seek the lord on your behalf.

You can send private message if you want.

I hope your state and country help if you are disabled.

Good prayers!

Devin

Thank you Devin.

amigo de christo · May 24, 2026

Kayla McCanny said:
I'm scared of my parents dying on me or getting dementia or something terrible like that. I'm almost 42. I have skitzaffective disorder as some of you skready know. Not married and my parents are my Guardians. I have no idea what I'd do without them. Who would take care of me. I very much want to get married one day. I'm not on a dating site because I want to wait until I am in a better state mental wise. Get this under control and overcome it with Jesus and minimum medication. Something that works, which at the moment nothing is. It went away for 12 years it can go away again. I don't want my parents to die or go to a nursing home. I can't feed for myself. I hope they have many more years a head of them. They aren't currently very health conscious people. Please pray for me.

fear not what is or what is to come .
GOD is with the sheep . There is no sheep who is an orphan . they all chidren of GOD .
TO the trenches sister . this world has enough worries and evil in it for TODAY
without me or you having to worry over TOMORROW .
battle lines are drawn . TO the trenches Kayla Mcanny , no sheep is left behind . Let us all march forwards IN THE LORD .

grumix8 · May 24, 2026

praying for you God will help ya.

Debp · May 24, 2026

Kayla McCanny said:
I started having problems after I had chemo after my college graduation. After a few years it went away and I was doing great and could be independent. I had a job and drove my car and was fine for 12 years. Then I has a seizure and could no longer drive and about a year ago the audible hallucinations (demonic oppression) came back full force. Messing with my nervous system as well. I have to completely rely on my parents. When I have an episode I go limp and have to lay down. My heart races. I sweat sometimes, I get flight or fight anxiety through the roof where I am barely breathing. I can't concentrate, hold a conversation and I become disoriented not knowing what I am doing if I am looking for something. My mom has had to dress me 3 times for bed this year. I have been to the hospital, but they can't accept me if I can't dress myself. My eyes are all over the place when this happens so I close them shut as best as I can and pray my heart out. It always happens around 4 or 6pm, but it has happened right when I wake up before. I have lost a few nights of sleep this year too because it was so bad. So I am dependent on them. The psychtrist and staff are trying to find me a counselor where my insurance covers. It's been several months without hearing from them. They said they are pending and still working on it. I prefer a Christian woman counselor so that could be one reason besides insurance needed to cover it.

Are you on Social Security Disability? Since your condition is so serious I would think you qualify for it.

Kayla McCanny · May 24, 2026

Debp said:
Are you on Social Security Disability? Since your condition is so serious I would think you qualify for it.

Yes. I'm on disability since I can't work

Kayla McCanny · May 25, 2026

I feel like God Hates me and is punishing me. I've searched my heart a million times. Introspected cried out to God and I feel hurt. Why God? Why does he let me be tortured so. I commit my spirit to him and reminded of job. Though he slay me yet I will trust in him, but nothing has changed. I feel my prayers reach deaf ears. Like God damned me. I read scripture over and over. I know the plans he has for me Jeremiah 29:11 and romans 8:31-38 nothing cam separate me from his love. I say this over and over in my head hanging on for dear life. I'm tired. I'm past tired. Why is this happening to me? I've never even done drugs. God please love me. Please make the demon stop torturing me.

Debp · May 25, 2026

Kayla McCanny said:
I feel like God Hates me and is punishing me. I've searched my heart a million times. Introspected cried out to God and I feel hurt. Why God? Why does he let me be tortured so. I commit my spirit to him and reminded of job. Though he slay me yet I will trust in him, but nothing has changed. I feel my prayers reach deaf ears. Like God damned me. I read scripture over and over. I know the plans he has for me Jeremiah 29:11 and romans 8:31-38 nothing cam separate me from his love. I say this over and over in my head hanging on for dear life. I'm tired. I'm past tired. Why is this happening to me? I've never even done drugs. God please love me. Please make the demon stop torturing me.

Stop doubting God's love for you. You are going through trials but the Lord is the only One who can get you through the trials. Stop torturing yourself and accept that the Lord is with you in the trials.

Anchorite · May 25, 2026

Each of us has inner combat against troubling thoughts. We have to keep hammering away, pounding scriptures into our minds until they dominate and block out all disturbances. God will honor your struggles and reward you for your efforts. We need to be a warrior accumulating more strength every day, but in the spiritual realm.

Proverbs 3:5,6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Lambano · May 25, 2026

Kayla McCanny said:
I feel like God Hates me and is punishing me. I've searched my heart a million times. Introspected cried out to God and I feel hurt. Why God? Why does he let me be tortured so. I commit my spirit to him and reminded of job. Though he slay me yet I will trust in him, but nothing has changed. I feel my prayers reach deaf ears. Like God damned me. I read scripture over and over. I know the plans he has for me Jeremiah 29:11 and romans 8:31-38 nothing cam separate me from his love. I say this over and over in my head hanging on for dear life. I'm tired. I'm past tired. Why is this happening to me? I've never even done drugs. God please love me. Please make the demon stop torturing me.

Kayla, this is a tough one. Why do really crappy things happen to good people? Why does God answer some prayers and not others? Faithful Christians a lot wiser and a lot holier and a lot more righteous than me have debated this for centuries with no satisfactory answer.

However, this I do know: For God so loved Kayla McCanny that He gave His only-begotten son for her. You are a child of God, and you are loved. The cross is your sign that this is true. I want you to trust that, no matter what happens. Okay?

Anchorite · May 25, 2026

You must try to engage in all out warfare spiritually.

Get rid of any occult or worldly material.

Quit watching movies and television.

Listen only to Christian radio sermons and music.

Pray constantly.

Study your Bible daily.

Memorize scripture verses.

Read the Psalms.

Get exercise in the fresh air.

Hang around good Christians.

Find a Bible preaching church.

Eat only healthy foods.

Debp · May 26, 2026

Anchorite said:
Quit watching movies and television.

Listen only to Christian radio sermons and music.

I think it's ok to watch other things sometimes. Of course that doesn't mean we watch carnal stuff or listen to carnal music.

Kayla McCanny · May 26, 2026

Anchorite said:
You must try to engage in all out warfare spiritually.

Get rid of any occult or worldly material.

Quit watching movies and television.

Listen only to Christian radio sermons and music.

Pray constantly.

Study your Bible daily.

Memorize scripture verses.

Read the Psalms.

Get exercise in the fresh air.

Hang around good Christians.

Find a Bible preaching church.

Eat only healthy foods.

I don't have anything occult and I only watch a fishing show on TV every once in awhile. I will continue praying. I don't have Christians to hang out with and I can't go to church right now so I watch a sermon and worship music on TV. I've been going on walks in the day time with my dad though. I can't in the evenings or if it is bothering me in the day time because it is so bad. I will keep praying and do what you said. I try to eat healthy.

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