I had a friend in Brisbane, Australia named Steve who's had a hard time of things over the last two years. He lost his job right after his son was born for fighting with a coworker.Steve and I would talk for hours via IM about cars and the difference/similarities between Americans and Australians. We traded packages back and forth for a while. If I would get something on Ebay Australia, I'd have it sent to him and he'd send it to me at a later date. At one point, he just stopped talking to me, but when he did again, he was bitter and hateful. There were two things left for him to send to me, an intake manifold and a Chrysler sign. He said he sent them, but they never arrived.He'd started selling some of his things on Ebay for extra money and when I looked at his auctions, he was selling an engine that he promised to me, telling me that it was my own fault for whatever reason.A year passed and we patched things up, so I thought, but I recently looked at his auctions and lo and behold, I found this: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewI...06687&rd=1&rd=1 My sign. I confronted him about it in the best way I could, but he lied about it and basically accused all Americans of being crooks since he claimed he had just been ripped off by a Yank.To make a long story short, I want to forgive the guy for betraying me, for lying to me, for making me think we had some sort of friendship that we apparently didn't. I don't want to hate the man because I know he's had a rough time of it, but I'm still angry.Please pray that I can let go of these feelings and that Steve eventually gets his act together for the sake of his family.Thanks, all.
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You and Steve are in my prayers.However, I will say that it looks more or less like a scam to me by a bad apple. Keep in mind that God's Grace, although free flowing, has to be asked for in order to receive forgiveness and so goes the same for you. Your heart is in the right place but you cannot forgive someone who doesn't ask to be forgiven.I'll pray that God can work through you and through this to get to Steve and his family, but he is a free will God and if Steve chooses to continue to be this way then there is nothing more for you to do.
Thank you, SwampFox. Up to that point, it wasn't a scam; everything I had sent to Steve was sent to me, save those last two items, the two most expensive no less. He'd sent me some fairly expensive items on his own, so to a point, it was all legit.I guess I was more stunned than anything else by the dramatic change in his behavior, a side of him he hadn't shown. I know that internet friendships are pretty one dimensional, but I regard myself as a good judge of character.As for forgiveness, if I can't forgive him since he didn't ask for it, how can I otherwise move on and leave this lout behind? I don't understand that part of your post.I guess I need some closure or something to close this chapter.
The problem with the internet is that it's just so darn easy to fake things. This guy may not have, but from what you're saying it sounds to me like a long, drawn out scam or either he had some strange change of heart.Luke 6:28-35But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also. Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.A lot of people want to take this passage in the context that it means lay down like a coward would when someone does something to you, but this instruction contained within these words is sound advice for the situation. Notice one important thing, though. The absence of instruction, and even the word itself, as to forgiveness.Instead, the instruction here is to not carry the grudge and not seek revenge. What he did was wrong compounded even more so that he either was your friend or simply pretended to be so. The idea is not to forgive when he doesn't ask you for it, but to forget.I had my car broken into and a stereo stolen recently. I haven't forgiven the guy; I don't even know who he is. However, from how the act was accomplished, it's clear this guy does this for a living. However, I have moved on and now the issue no longer really angers me, it's in the past. I prayed for a change of heart for him, but there's nothing more to do. I know it's not nearly what this guy did, but it's a similar situation in some ways.It sounds to me like you're well on your way to doing the right thing here.
DaD of 3Growing up the daughter of a car junkie who also buys and sells on ebay I understand your emotions about this, there is kind of an unspoken code and trust between car traders it not just a matter of monetary value its a shared passion a comradery. I have no doubt that when your emotions calm down you will be able to put this in perspective and forgive this person treatment of you however you will never forget therein lies the difference forgiving the way he treated you is not the same as forgetting I have remind my Dad on occasion that forgiveness is divine forgetting is foolish
Dad of 3,I know how frustrated you are right now because I am going through something similar. My wife left me and for her own immature selfish reasons. What I am dealing with now is the constant going over things in my head. What could I have done? Why won't she love me? Why won't she come back?I have to learn to put those emotions and thoughts behind me. I have already forgiven her, I now have to put it behind me and concentrate on the relationship that is most important, with Jesus. He has been helping me mourne my loss and see what choices I have made that brought me to this point. He is my new best freind.You sound like a prayerful person, ask Jesus to take over where you cannot do it yourself. Eventually, your pain will be a distant memory. I say that inspite of the fact that my pain is till quite raw. I still cry every day. But I know that Jesus will help me through this and in the end I have an opportunity to find out just what He has in store for me.Yours in Christ.
I wanted to clarify my post a bit because I am in agreement with what kriss and Broken have to say. It's perhaps better to say "put aside" than to say forget; you're not going to forget. That's what I mean by forgiveness - you can only offer - that it's more than just saying "I forgive." This is just as we have to ask for forgiveness of our sins and God will forgive them. So you do the same.
Thanks, all. I guess in a way, it seems strange to be odd to be so concerned over the actions of a person I've never even met, but yes, there is a certain understanding between us gear-heads no matter the location. I guess I felt like I'd opened myself up and gotten taken advantage of without knowing right away. Bummer. I thought he and I were friends for the long haul.And if you couldn't tell from the sign, I'm a huge Chrysler fan, particualrly the Aussie Chargers.Yeah, it's time to reevaluate what I did or didn't do and try to learn from it. I hate playing the fool...
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