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Praying and thinking about her. Maybe @JohnDB knows if she's okay?

"There are a lot of missing years in my life. I feel like everything was stolen from me. Everything. My family, my childhood, my free will, my choices and my life to be who God intended me to be." @truthquest You are who God intended you to be....an overcomer! :)

@truthquest For some reason, I can't quote your text in your last post so I'll copy/paste it here and reply.... "Yes, I know what you're talking about. I know that's the reason why I can't remember many things. But the things I do remember or know about so far, has given me a lot of information...

Wow, this struggle to feel like you have an existence is something so common in survivors of trauma dealing with dissociation. Your family has worked very hard to keep you from having a way to move toward independence. It doesn't mean you're flawed or incapable. You've just had a lot of...

Sorry to hear that, @Heart2Soul!! That is something most survivors have experienced ... deliberate death traumas ... drownings, resuscitation, suffocations followed by reviving... being placed in ice and frozen, etc ...death traumas are so common, and very powerful for anchoring in programming...

Yes, my memories were always more along the lines of it being a vacation. But here's the thing ...all the kids in the family (siblings, cousins) would spend a week or so at our uncle/aunt's home in the summers. But in my conscious memory, it was just us at their house, cookouts, spending time at...

Thank you for explaining, @marks. :) I see that @Jostler is online. I've been really looking forward to him being able to get back to what he was sharing yesterday morning. :)

I always had memories of the mayan pyramids, since around age 14 (maybe earlier). I remembered being there with one of my uncles on my mother's side. And I remembered that some of my older cousins were there as well. I always remembered is going up lots of steps, into these narrow...

This is very heartbreaking...we must keep them in our prayers. God sees and I know that He still has a plan for freedom no matter if they can participate in this thread, or He sends support in another way.

Very encouraging words ... thank you, @Addy. God bless you.

I see. You still have triggers. This is something that survivors of SRA/MK can relate to, but on steroids, because of the level and intensity of deliberate mind shattering trauma, usually beginning in the womb, or at least by age 2 or 3. Did you have any memories that were repressed or blocked?

Looking forward to it. :) Love and blessings! :)

Thank you. Yes, it was horrific beyond words. :/ I am grateful to God the jaguar was there. It was a real physical jaguar. Idk why he was there, but we must have been bonded in some way, because he watched over me like a beloved guard dog. I still left the body at some point ...the torture was...

Not really, bc they were kind of facing each other, occasionally looking over at me, as they were discussing me, my "special/chosen" status (which of course, is not an honor any of us want!!), my bloodline, and their plans and purpose for the future. He was thin, not overly huge or muscular. I...

How long would you say you experienced the effects and pain from the abuse you suffered?

The lizard stood upright, thin ...not incredibly tall...maybe over 5 feet, but not over 6 ft. The anubis type was taller ... I'd say over 6ft. Mind you, I was 4 yrs old and bound to an altar. So that is my best assessment. I don't remember any humans there other than myself and the s*crificial...

Thank you for clarifying. That makes more sense.

❤️

Yes, you are correct ...anubis is the Egyptian "god of the dead." There was a big celebration of this entity by our own nation several years back when they put up the "arch of baal" in New York City and then paraded a huge statue of anubis across the country to the Denver Airport.

Wow, now that is even more interesting. I do have memories of a ritual when I was age 4 (mayan pyramids) that was conducted by 2 nephilim. One was an upright lizard and the other was an "Anubis" ... human body with a dog head.