A Dilemma I'm facing

[Laura_7]

Hello All, My name is Laura, and I'm a 40 year old Caucasian woman who lives in Toledo, Ohio. I teach preeschool and have got great family and friends. I'm very active in my church and attend all functions and help out with the youth ministry. Several months back I was going to see a movie with some friends and at the snack stand I came across a nice young man, he said he was of East African descent,we started talking for a while before the movie began, and I found him to be very articulate and charming, I told him I'd be willing to talk more with him later and gave him my number. We saw each other several more times, and are now in a committed relationship hoping to get married soon, I must mention, hes 25 years old, at first glance no one would suspect. He says he intends to live here in the states. He's met my family and they love him, but the problem is that hes a Muslim. This conflicts me too, as I love this man DEARLY and the Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked. I prayed to God to tell me and he gave me the feeling that I persevere and hope he guides my love to his light, also I spoke to the pastor at my church and he told me to speak candidly with my fiance about Christ. He isnt an observant Muslim, but identifies as such and believes in God. I'm really in a bind and would love the opinions of fellow Christians on how to go about this.

 

[Christina]

Date for a long long time Is about all I can say Ive seen many of these relationships go awry I know thats not much help but you can probably tell I am not of positive thinking on it. Unless he converts. If in trying to convert him he leaves you will know it was not meant to be.

 

[Laura_7]

Thank you for your positive words Kriss, I'm treading carefully, but am waitingto see if its meant to be as you said.

 

[Nova]

Please don't think I am trying to be cruel. But it is a bad idea to plan to marry an non believer. I've seen too many cases where it leads to heartbreak later.

 

[Laura_7]

Hello Nova,Thank you for your honest reply, lol, not cruel at all. You're just as I am, a realist, but what can I say, a lovestruck realist. I've spoken with my fiance and talked with him about this, that I love him but can only be with a man of the Christian faith. He's always been a man of compromise, needless to say, I was SHOCKED when he told me he'd be willing to go to Church with me this week to see what its like. Hes a non-practicing Muslim, but he hasnt been inside anything other than a mosque, I pray that God will guide him. Again, thanks for your kind words.Laura

 

[tim_from_pa]

(Laura_7;20473)
Hello All, My name is Laura, and I'm a 40 year old Caucasian woman who lives in Toledo, Ohio. I teach preeschool and have got great family and friends. I'm very active in my church and attend all functions and help out with the youth ministry. Several months back I was going to see a movie with some friends and at the snack stand I came across a nice young man, he said he was of East African descent,we started talking for a while before the movie began, and I found him to be very articulate and charming, I told him I'd be willing to talk more with him later and gave him my number. We saw each other several more times, and are now in a committed relationship hoping to get married soon, I must mention, hes 25 years old, at first glance no one would suspect. He says he intends to live here in the states. He's met my family and they love him, but the problem is that hes a Muslim. This conflicts me too, as I love this man DEARLY and the Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked. I prayed to God to tell me and he gave me the feeling that I persevere and hope he guides my love to his light, also I spoke to the pastor at my church and he told me to speak candidly with my fiance about Christ. He isnt an observant Muslim, but identifies as such and believes in God. I'm really in a bind and would love the opinions of fellow Christians on how to go about this.
My opinion: age difference, no problem. Race: no problem. I'd be concerned with his religious beliefs because that is going to be a source of conflicts later, unless he converts (and I'm sure his side may feel the same about you). In addition, I'm even more concerned regarding the statement "he intends to live here in the states". He's not a citizen? I'm even more worried about that to be honest with you. For starters, if this does not pan out, the relationship will be doomed. I'd give this some time and lots of analysis (which by the tone of your post sounds like you are already doing somewhat). There is nothing to lose with waiting to make certain. You're fairly young yet.

 

[Mighty Bear]

If there is a God, He would establish a one true religion, and what would that be? second, I'm celibate but I'm not gay, how could that be?

 

[Christina]

First of all God does not care what religion you are there is no denomination in the Bible there is only one way and that is Jesus Christ religious denomination are inventions of men for men not God.Secondly be careful what you ask for Antichrist(Satan) will install a one world religionwhen he gets here.

 

[Mighty Bear]

I'm a non-denominational Christian, and just like what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7, that he wishes that all would become just like him, who was a celibate."I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another."(1 Corinthians 7:7)

 

[Wise Haven]

(Laura_7;20473)
Hello All, My name is Laura, and I'm a 40 year old Caucasian woman who lives in Toledo, Ohio. I teach preeschool and have got great family and friends. I'm very active in my church and attend all functions and help out with the youth ministry. Several months back I was going to see a movie with some friends and at the snack stand I came across a nice young man, he said he was of East African descent,we started talking for a while before the movie began, and I found him to be very articulate and charming, I told him I'd be willing to talk more with him later and gave him my number. We saw each other several more times, and are now in a committed relationship hoping to get married soon, I must mention, hes 25 years old, at first glance no one would suspect. He says he intends to live here in the states. He's met my family and they love him, but the problem is that hes a Muslim. This conflicts me too, as I love this man DEARLY and the Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked. I prayed to God to tell me and he gave me the feeling that I persevere and hope he guides my love to his light, also I spoke to the pastor at my church and he told me to speak candidly with my fiance about Christ. He isnt an observant Muslim, but identifies as such and believes in God. I'm really in a bind and would love the opinions of fellow Christians on how to go about this.
Hi Laura,Everything about this relationship sounds ok. Apart from one thing. This man is a muslim and for him to totally denounce his religion is a really big deal.Muslim apostates are literally condemned to death when they apostate.It is really difficult for me to say this - it is not in my nature and I have for many years tried to make sure this is not a bigoted opinion but, you should not enter into marriage with a muslim man.The situation you describe is one that has been told of time and time again in the last 20 years or so.If you do not like to hear this I can provide you with someone who can talk to you and explain the dangers you face from their experience.Sorry!

 

[Nova]

Laura, is there a man at church you could link your fiance up with? Someone to help as an example & mentor? It may be God is using you to help him find Christ. But that is significantly different than the kind of love that leads to marriage.

 

[jodycour]

Laura,Marriage is hard enough all by it self!If you add any other complications like marrying a non-believer it's already heading in the wrong directions.The Word is very clear about marrying a non-believer!Why would you want to marry some one that you will not beable to enjoy eternity with?Just focus on being a friend, God may be leading him too Himself, through your relationship!But even if he say's sure why not, still wait, and watch the fruit of a truly changed heart before you ever consider marrying him.

 

[Wise Haven]

(jodycour;20573)
Laura,Marriage is hard enough all by it self!If you add any other complications like marrying a non-believer it's already heading in the wrong directions.The Word is very clear about marrying a non-believer!Why would you want to marry some one that you will not beable to enjoy eternity with?Just focus on being a friend, God may be leading him too Himself, through your relationship!But even if he say's sure why not, still wait, and watch the fruit of a truly changed heart before you ever consider marrying him.
I agree with jodycourMarriage is hard - unless this man truly wants to share life with you and Christ it may not be the right choice.

 

[MickinEngland]

Can I speak bluntly?I'm aged 50+ and never married, one of the reasons being that I never found a nice Christian lady.I've met non-Christian women of course (assorted atheists, fairy-worshippers, wiccans etc) in my everyday life, and although some were charming, I never for a moment wanted to marry them. I mean,if I did marry one, how could I ever get it out of my mind that those sweet lips I was kissing would one day be crawling with maggots, and that the soft warm body I was holding would one day be a heap of ice-cold putrefying stinking grey slime when death parts us forever?Sorry to be so brutal, but death for nonchristians is a brutal thing. By contrast, Christians get brandnew rot-proof bodies after death -"In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed." - 1 Cor 15:52

 

[Dave...]

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV).

 

[Laura_7]

Thanks to all those of you dear fellow Christians who've responded candidly. I appreciate all your kind words, and how amazing it is, Nova, that we'd ne thinking the same thing. Just 3 days ago I went to a meeting at church and took my fiance with me, I was attending to the meeting and asked the pastor to show him around and speak with him.They were gone for about an hour and when they did finally show up, it looked like they'd had a good time. My pastors Scottish in origin and my fiance loves soccer, so he told me they talked about scottish and world football in general, lol. Anyway, I later asked the pastor what they talked about other than that, he said he found him to be a charming and reasonable man, he asked him if he'd like to meet with him friday for a game of soccer, which he does play, and so he can meet a few new people, also he asked him if he had any problem attending church this sunday to get a real feel of church, he said he'd be there, nothing to get excited about yet, but I'm ecstatic. Heres hoping he is guided to the right path. All your prayers friends.

 

[n2thelight]

LauraMy advice would be to pray and follow your heart,many site the verse unequally yoked,but many miss the point of the verse.Just because one is unsaved does not mean that they are unbelievers,I define unbelievers as being atheist.But then again he is Muslem,and most don't believe that Jesus was the Son of God,so in that respect,this very well could apply to him,and could present a problem.But the main point is,as long as he does'nt try to inhibit you by causing problems for your belief it should'nt be a problem,however it will be hard,but not impossible,who knows God could use you to help him see the light.II Corinthians 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"This is very important and Paul is instructing us; "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what possible could you have in common." "Righteousness" has no common ground with "unrighteousness", it just isn't there my friend. It is like the night trying to fellowship with the day, and it just won't happen. The two just cannot exist at the same time. There is absolutely no communion between light and darkness. You are children of the day or light, and they are children of the night, or darkness. The things of God and the things of Satan just don't mix. When the light comes, the darkness must always fade away and go. As the church of Corinth had many problems within it because there were many unbelievers in the church there. There were gluttons in the church, that thought no more of communion than a time to stuff yourself at the table of the Lord. They respected their stomachs and their personal desires more than the respected the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ and the Lord's table. Paul told them that were doing this that if they had to act like this, and had no more respect for our Lord than that, then stay at home. Many associate this verse with marriage, but it has a much wider application then just marriage. Yet even in marriage it applies just as much as to ones job or to the church. However, Paul is addressing the many membered body of Christ, and telling them that they cannot allow this to go on. When a unbeliever is causing trouble, then remove that one from the body of Christ. One unbeliever with a bad influence can be very stressful to the tender ears of the babes in Christ. By removing the unbeliever that causes trouble within the group can bring back the harmony and fellowship that is missing. Growth can then take place within the body of Christ and the minds of the believers. Sometimes God will do the removing for the sake splitting the group into two separate groups for the expansion of His church and of His Word. This split usually takes place amongst believers and that split is not part of what Paul is speaking of here. This is directed to the one that simply does not have the faith will not repent, and has no desire of pleasing anyone but himself. You don't need an evil person in your midst, get rid of him or her from the congregation.

 

[Laura_7]

A solemn and happy greeting to all my fellow Christians, I just wanted to let you all know that this weekend saw one of the happiest moments in my life. My fiance, whom I had not seen for at least a week after his introductional visit to me with my church, had went home that day and started reading his bible, he was so touched and overcome with emotion that he kept at it, and thankfully God guided his heart, this past sunday, Nov. 4th, he went it and after the sermon professed his love of Jesus christ and God almighty, he said that he thanked God for bestowing upon him this divine and most priceless of gifts. I tell, I never expected this to happen so quick, nevertheless I am glad because although it happened out of an invitation from me, the choice to go was solely his, as well as in becoming Christian, praise be to God, I am so happy. Now at least we can contemplate being man and wife, but he doesnt know how he would tell his family. I told him that it wasnt an issue at the moment, but in time he said he must. If there ever was a moment to wait and ponder " what would Jesus do? " for me,this would be it.

 

[Peacebewithyou]

Hi Laura,You asked, so I'm going to give you my honest opinion as if you were my friend. NO NO NO to a marriage with a Muslim or anyone else who does not share you love for Christ. If He (Jesus) is not the very foundation of your relationship, I just don't think you stand a chance. I think it's wonderful that he is willing to go to church with you - great first baby step - but I would proceed with caution & be certain that his conversion is sincere & not just because he's into you. Secondly, I think a 15 year age difference is a big deal. Does he want children? At 40, that might present a problem for you. I am 40 also, and I just can't imagine being in a relationship with a 25 year old?? It seems as though we'd be at totally different places in our lives? But that's nothing compared to the Muslim thing... so there's my advice, for what it's worth.Edit: Ok, so I didn't see your post right above mine - so let me add to this... I think it's wonderful that he seems to have embraced Christ - but still, I would proceed with caution. I would still want to know that he is sincere & his motive for doing so is a love for Jesus and not because he knows being a Christian is a make it or break it for me. If you were to go through with this marriage, I would suggest a LONG engagement, as time will tell. God Bless you.

 

[crooner]

Get to know him well. Christians get married all the time and one will stop going to church or lose interest in God because one can fake lots before marriage.