A question on forgiveness

[FCAL79]

Hello everyone, let me explain:

When I was a teen, I was bullied. I was always crying. This one person always made fun of me crying. This other person would make fun of me since I like Garfield (The comic cat). Years rolled by, one of the people tried to friend me on Facebook, but I denied his friend request. The other was called home.
I hated both of them & wanted to get back at them, but God told me to forgive them since I want to be forgiven. My question can I forgive them & not talk to them? Will I still be forgiven by God?

 

[quietthinker]

Hello everyone, let me explain:

When I was a teen, I was bullied. I was always crying. This one person always made fun of me crying. This other person would make fun of me since I like Garfield (The comic cat). Years rolled by, one of the people tried to friend me on Facebook, but I denied his friend request. The other was called home.
I hated both of them & wanted to get back at them, but God told me to forgive them since I want to be forgiven. My question can I forgive them & not talk to them? Will I still be forgiven by God?

Your ability to forgive is proportionate to your understanding of what has been forgiven you.
Do you want God to forgive you but not talk to you?

 

[PS95]

Hello everyone, let me explain:

When I was a teen, I was bullied. I was always crying. This one person always made fun of me crying. This other person would make fun of me since I like Garfield (The comic cat). Years rolled by, one of the people tried to friend me on Facebook, but I denied his friend request. The other was called home.
I hated both of them & wanted to get back at them, but God told me to forgive them since I want to be forgiven. My question can I forgive them & not talk to them? Will I still be forgiven by God?

treat them the way you want to be treated.. If you have great difficulty with speaking to him- talk to the Lord about it ask for His help. Remember that time can change people. That person may not be the same now.
He helped me to forgive someone when I struggled.

 

[Lambano]

My question can I forgive them & not talk to them?

You can (forgiveness is giving up the desire to get back at them) - but full reconciliation (restoration of the relationship) is what God desires with us (2 Corinthians 5:20). It would be better (as much as it depends on you) if you could do the same.

People change. I recall visiting my parents (this was when I was in my thirties), and a guy who in Junior High would delight in verbally and physically harassing me dropped by. He'd changed quite a bit in the intervening decades and had become a decent human being; I don't know why I was surprised.

P.S. I've always liked Garfield too.

 

[Anchorite]

Hello everyone, let me explain:

When I was a teen, I was bullied. I was always crying. This one person always made fun of me crying. This other person would make fun of me since I like Garfield (The comic cat). Years rolled by, one of the people tried to friend me on Facebook, but I denied his friend request. The other was called home.
I hated both of them & wanted to get back at them, but God told me to forgive them since I want to be forgiven. My question can I forgive them & not talk to them? Will I still be forgiven by God?

I relate to your situation. I was bullied a lot when I was a teen, got in a fist fight at lunch every day in junior high, teachers did nothing about it, so my dad enrolled me in judo lessons at the YMCA. People quit picking fights with me.

I do think you should forgive everyone who bullied you, but you do not need to be friends with them.

The bully who sent you a friend request on Facebook may be wanting to snoop on you and ridicule you to his friends.

You can be selective about who you friend on social media. Denying a friend request does not mean you still hate him.

 

[Debp]

Hello everyone, let me explain:

When I was a teen, I was bullied. I was always crying. This one person always made fun of me crying. This other person would make fun of me since I like Garfield (The comic cat). Years rolled by, one of the people tried to friend me on Facebook, but I denied his friend request. The other was called home.
I hated both of them & wanted to get back at them, but God told me to forgive them since I want to be forgiven. My question can I forgive them & not talk to them? Will I still be forgiven by God?

I relate to your situation. I was bullied a lot when I was a teen, got in a fist fight at lunch every day in junior high, teachers did nothing about it, so my dad enrolled me in judo lessons at the YMCA. People quit picking fights with me.

I do think you should forgive everyone who bullied you, but you do not need to be friends with them.

The bully who sent you a friend request on Facebook may be wanting to snoop on you and ridicule you to his friends.

You can be selective about who you friend on social media. Denying a friend request does not mean you still hate him.

@FCAL79 I agree with @Anchorite ...forgive but you don't have to be friends with them or accept their friends requests. I see you are 47 and everything happened when you were a teen. So basically they are strangers to you.

My parents and I moved to California in 1967. As long as my dad was alive, my cousins on his side of the family kept in touch. (He used to give them gifts and money.)

Dad died in 1975. Mom and I never heard from them again. (Mom died two years ago at 94.) That was ok and I didn't hold any unforgiveness towards the cousins. However one of those cousins (who I barely knew) suddenly phoned me several months ago. She was calling just for an opportunity to visit to tell everyone else how I am living.

So I just plainly told her I left Pennsylvania when I was 17...and now that I'm 75 you want to get in touch?!!! LOL

I might add she had just gossipped about my other cousin who had just died.

 

[Lambano]

 

[amigo de christo]

I relate to your situation. I was bullied a lot when I was a teen, got in a fist fight at lunch every day in junior high, teachers did nothing about it, so my dad enrolled me in judo lessons at the YMCA. People quit picking fights with me.

I do think you should forgive everyone who bullied you, but you do not need to be friends with them.

The bully who sent you a friend request on Facebook may be wanting to snoop on you and ridicule you to his friends.

You can be selective about who you friend on social media. Denying a friend request does not mean you still hate him.

lets add one more thing to this .
I would say preach JESUS to them . See if they will or already do beleive on HIM .
Now unto all who say NOPE , shake the dust off your feet and move on .
As well as to those who support sins . correct them but if they hear not , move on .
Notice when JESUS said about forgiveness
HE said YOU GO to that person and REBUKE HIM , aka CORRECT HIM
and if he hears you and REPENT , FORGIVE HIM .
He never said just keep hug ging and getting along . In fact HE said
if they hear not , bring others , let it be established .
And if he hears not , Let him b e as a PAGAN unto you .
Many confuse forgiveness with what IT means and what was to come out of it . REPENTANCE was the KEY .
Now as far as holding grudges , NO do not do that . But we were told NOT to keep company
if they repent not , AND if they reject the gospel , TO SHAKE teh dust off our feet .

 

[Ronald Nolette]

Hello everyone, let me explain:

When I was a teen, I was bullied. I was always crying. This one person always made fun of me crying. This other person would make fun of me since I like Garfield (The comic cat). Years rolled by, one of the people tried to friend me on Facebook, but I denied his friend request. The other was called home.
I hated both of them & wanted to get back at them, but God told me to forgive them since I want to be forgiven. My question can I forgive them & not talk to them? Will I still be forgiven by God?

Yes you can forgive but not be friends. They have a responsibility to go to you. You must forgive them from your heart first, then grant them forgiveness when they seek it.

 

[Ronald Nolette]

Your ability to forgive is proportionate to your understanding of what has been forgiven you.
Do you want God to forgive you but not talk to you?

There is a huge difference. God paid for our sins so He can freely fellowship with us. However if we do not acknowledge our sin to god- then our fellowship is blocked by our lack of acknowldeging our sin. It is restored when we take our responsibility to confess our sin. They should forgive from teh heart, but also the offenders should seek to be forgiven by the one they hurt.

 

[amigo de christo]

There is a huge difference. God paid for our sins so He can freely fellowship with us. However if we do not acknowledge our sin to god- then our fellowship is blocked by our lack of acknowldeging our sin. It is restored when we take our responsibility to confess our sin. They should forgive from teh heart, but also the offenders should seek to be forgiven by the one they hurt.

lets clear it up even more . if one is in a sin and yet says OH its not sin
THEY LIE and the TRUTH is not in them my friend . Cause WHY is their NO convinction of said sin but rather
only justification of said sin .
IF WE SAY we have NOT SINNED we call HIM what ......................A LIAR . yes you had it right my friend
but i wanted to add a bit more grave to it .

 

[amigo de christo]

Yes you can forgive but not be friends. They have a responsibility to go to you. You must forgive them from your heart first, then grant them forgiveness when they seek it.

yes . hold no grudge against any who did us wrong . But it dont mean hug and just have fellowship .
That was NOT what the early church did at all .
IT was THIS pattern set by JESUS . IF your b rother sins against you
REBUKE HIM , yes that means let him know he did evil .
IF he repents THEN FORGIVE HIM . if not , NO FELLOWSHIP at all , rather take a few more members with you
AND LET EVERY WORD be established . bring witnesses . now if they dont hear
and repent , LET them be as a pagan unto you . unrepentant sin , HAS TO BE REPENTED OF my friend .
REMEMBER the main key to this , IS FOR THEIR GOOD , f or their repentance is the goal , their restoration IS the goal .