Advice needed

[haanne]

HI ! Okay so I have been Praying for this Girl at work.( I work in the resturaunt business) She is 22 years old. I am 7 years older than she is .Shes new to management and she comes to me with alot of issues non work and work related for advice .( I am not in management.) It is no secret that I am a Christian. How ever I try not to shove that down peoples throats . Its very hard to mantain somtimes. However I have found that just the mention of Jesus can send people running for the hills. I try to be tactful so when a good opportunity presents its self I will have merrit. So Irecentley found out this girl is cutting herself. Ifound out through the rampid Gossip that circulates through the place. I want to share my faith with her but I dont want to scare her off. My life is so diffrent from hers.But I remember what its like to be young and scared and feel all alone. Understand I am not ashamed or afraid to tell anyone about Jesus. However I tend to be a blunt person and I just dont want to say the wrong thing. I know that God put her on my heart to pray for her . Shes hurting . THanks yall -haanne

 

[crooner]

Just keep praying and the answer will come. Your there for a reason

 

[Jon-Marc]

My older daughter has been doing the self-cutting since her teens, and she's going on 37. She has serious emotional problems from an illness that dates back to her childhood, and that could be that girl's problem.

 

[AngelFive]

I think anyform of self abuse comes from Hating the self. Cutting the self, doing drugs, overeating, smoking ciggerettes, drinking too much alcohol, putting the self down verbally...these all reflect each other,...they maybe different events but it all boils down to UNLOVING behavior. I think that the best thing you can do as a Christian is to treat her like your sister, mom or daughter..depending on the age level... really love her as she is and encourage her every chance you get. Find what is good about her and go with that but be sincere...this will cause her to focus on that part that is good..even though she may not express that...you will begin to notice her changing in time. Main thing ...is be a living example..the way Christ was for us.... Be happy and in love with yourself and everyone and OUR LORD and that will come through to everyone that surrounds you..they will all want to know where you find such happiness and joy..what do you do?Prayer is always great also...Love and Blessings for your LIFE!!!

 

[lupins_girl]

Hi,I used to cut myself a lot from ages 11 - 13 and a little after. It's been almost a year since the last time I cut. What I know about it is, weird as it sounds, for some people cutting is a coping mechanism. The physical pain can calm down bad feelings like hurt, anger and sadness sometimes. It's just like some people turn to (unhealthy) drinking, drugs or (healthy) running, relying on friends, support groups. For this girl, you can definitely pray but also try to find out what is bothering her. Maybe be her support system or help her find other ways of coping. Having a friend to call or even something like a bubble bath or reading can ease the stress and make the need to cut go away. And definitely share Jesus with her. Teach her that she can turn to God to forgive her past sins and guide her to a better life.

 

[Jon-Marc]

It is also a cry for attention. However, in my daughter's case, she wants everyone's attention on her all the time. In my own inept way I tried to help her and only turned her against me. She said she doesn't want to hear from me again. You have to be careful when trying to help someone with emotional problems. An inexperienced (though well-meaning) person can do more harm than good. I learned that the hard way, and now I pay the price with rejection.

 

[Peacebewithyou]

I would try to become her friend - develop a relationship with her first, just by being friendly. Once she trusts you and likes you, she's much more likely to not only listen to what you have to say (about Jesus) but also actually care. If she's hurting, she could really use a good friend, and that might be what God is calling you to be. There's a saying I love.. it's: Preach the Gospel often... use words when necessary. Oftentimes I think it's our actions more than our words that give the best witness for Him.

 

[Christian Commando]

Hi people-I pray you don't mind my intrusion, as I may have soething that can help here. Always pray first off for God to give you the words and way of expression for any particular person approached.As a Minister of many years, God has taught me a method for being able to strike up general conversations with people I've never met before. I tailered this method, after the training I recieved for outlining Sermons, Bible Study topics and more.1- Ice breaker- Consider several different possibilities for how to introduce yourself.2- Small talk- Match up several topics and ways of matching up, blending from intro to general coversation, to ease a person and help them become comfortable talking with you.3- If have a focal point God has instilled in you for reaching this person, come up with ways to share small talk, to blend over or ease into the start of the topic you are lead to bring up with them.4- Then work on several different ways you can use, to work into a more pointed conversation with them, towards the focal point.5- Discuss focal point.Note 1-The main thing to getting people to share with you on thier own, is projecting an ease of thier ability to talk to you about anything. Always speaking in terms of love and forgiveness and understanding. Not saying you this, you that, but "a person", "someone","I've known others"- (or some who), etc when sharing insights.Note 2- Sometimes, bringing up yourself or friends who are dealing with trials can lead the other into sharing whats effecting them, when brought up in a non-offense, non-finger pointing but as general talk. Note 3- If know of a friend with a problem, share some insights of possible help you can give them, then you can work this in to ask who you are speaking to, thier thoughts of what you've shared for helping your friend. Note 4- Watch others and listen to them for ideas how to approach and speak with people, yet remember to adapt your style of speaking or expressing to that, so you do not come across as putting on a false front. God has not put us here to decieve others, but project His Truth by the Holy Spirit showing thru us. We can learn from others how to do things, but need to adapt them to our own way of expression, that we do not project a false image that is not us, which people see right away.5- If have chosen approach's written down, practice them to get used to them, that when you speak or act, they flow smoothly and you project confidence with people.6- Prayer- Notice I mentioned that first. If pray to God to lead you thru this encounter, He will guide you by the Holy Spirit and many times, your conversation will spin off from the way you originally started and the words and actions will flow automatically as the Holy Spirit takes over. 7- God expects of us, if to Bless us, to do our part as well, therefore, you need the boldness and ability to approach the other person, with the faith and belief, God will handle it for you, once it gets going. Fear will hamper God's ability to work thru you, as this quenches the Holy Spirit.I pray this helps-God Bless!!

 

[haanne]

Wow you guys thankyou so much for all the input you ahve given me. this Forum is such a blessing. So considering what all of you have said, I think I will write her a letter. I will tell her that she has a friend if she needs one. I will also give her lots of encourage ment and let her know that Im praying for her. I just feel like God has his heart set on her. Have you ever felt like you were led to pray for someone? Its almost overwhelming when Im around her.She is so sad. I know that she was in a verbally abusive relationship. She is out of it now. In 5 months she Got an apartment and became a resturaunt manager. Thanks again you guys !!! with love- haanne