Now might be a good time to post my testimony.
I have been searching for God since I was very young. I'm over fifty now!
I was raised new age, then catholic. I actually believed that I'd found the place where God was. I didn't find Him there, and it wasn't for the want of trying. I loved the sacraments (tick boxes).
From my teens, lust took over, and I stopped searching for God, and switched to boys (plus girls mentally).
When I was nearly eighteen, my heart was broken by my boyfriend. I asked God (who was a distant memory by then) to take my life. He didn't, obviously, so in desolation, I started searching for Him again. He was all I wanted.
It didn't last long before my wandering eye went back to lust. I met a young man, but he left. Then I met another man, who I married. Within weeks of the marriage, we knew that we'd made a mistake. When I got pregnant, we chose to abort. When I woke from the op, God had left me. I didn't even know He was there!
That was over thirty years ago.
What followed was three decades of hell-bound hedonistic living. Drugs, drink, cigarettes, food, shopping, anything to distract.
Then, at rock bottom, I joined an evangelical church. This is where I realised that God CAN forgive murder, because in catholisism abortion equals excommunication, unless you get a pardon from the bishop, (which, of course, was the first thing I did).
Now, I never knew that you could fit so many phoney's into one place. but there you go, that's so-called Christians for you. I didn't see it at the time.
I was a fair-weather Christian, believed in good works for salvation, was actually delivered from some addictions, but inside, my heart was still black.
I don't go to church anymore, haven't been in almost two years, and don't even miss it.
A few weeks ago, I noticed a change.
I'm there...Finally The Lord has hedged me in. I'm a child of God, by His grace. I'm justified by faith. The H.S. of God did it!
And can it be...'tis mercy all...
free at last, free at last, thank The Lord Almighty, I'm free at last!
Saved...it happened during the week of The Feast of tabernacles. Not sure what that means, but...
P.s. in 2011, I had the revelation that Jesus was/is God. I'm still trying to process that, the mystery of The Trinity etc.
