[SIZE=14pt]Find frying pan (from spot where carefully hidden from wife's eagle eye) and remove week-old fried eggs and other such things stuck to the bottom. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]If you can't get it off, don't worry too much - adds a certain je definitely ne sais quoi to the flavour.
Add a drizzle of olive oil, onions, garlic. Heat.
Add sausage (bratwurst is good stuff), or frikadellen (nice), bacon, and 2 eggs.
Heat and stir occasionally (if you remember, while writing next controversial article) until the smoke alarm goes off or has a fit. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]Wave dishcloth at smoke alarm till it shuts up, then paw your way to, and throw open back door and windows (if you can find your way to them through the ridiculously dense smoke).
Telephone neighbours and warn them NOT to send for the fire brigade again: that all is well and under control. Just a slight misunderstanding about the ignition temperature of bratwurst sausages. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]On second thoughts, phone them BEFORE throwing open the door and windows. If you can find the way to the phone, that is. No need to create undue excitement in the neighbourhood.
Remove, on to plate, and after close inspection order a pizza for lunch and forget about breakfast. Remember to hide frying pan again. Dream up explanation why the place smells of burnt something for wife's advent. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]Or better yet, go visit client in Scotland for the next week or so.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]If you can't get it off, don't worry too much - adds a certain je definitely ne sais quoi to the flavour.
Add a drizzle of olive oil, onions, garlic. Heat.
Add sausage (bratwurst is good stuff), or frikadellen (nice), bacon, and 2 eggs.
Heat and stir occasionally (if you remember, while writing next controversial article) until the smoke alarm goes off or has a fit. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]Wave dishcloth at smoke alarm till it shuts up, then paw your way to, and throw open back door and windows (if you can find your way to them through the ridiculously dense smoke).
Telephone neighbours and warn them NOT to send for the fire brigade again: that all is well and under control. Just a slight misunderstanding about the ignition temperature of bratwurst sausages. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]On second thoughts, phone them BEFORE throwing open the door and windows. If you can find the way to the phone, that is. No need to create undue excitement in the neighbourhood.
Remove, on to plate, and after close inspection order a pizza for lunch and forget about breakfast. Remember to hide frying pan again. Dream up explanation why the place smells of burnt something for wife's advent. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=14pt]Or better yet, go visit client in Scotland for the next week or so.[/SIZE]