Barriers to Relationships

[Axehead]

We are creatures of relationships. Yet the work of the Enemy has resulted in isolation, distrust, fear, rejection, hurts and bitterness. This leaves the person unable to build good relationships. He has retreated behind the walls of fear for protection, trying to hide from others. This is contrary to man's nature, and he suffers daily in this situation.

The fact is, God cannot finish His work of healing and deliverance until those walls are torn down and the person begins to love, trust and communicate as God does. Created in His image we were made to love, trust and communicate as God does. So the work of restoration must begin. One must take the step of faith to come out from behind his walls of "protection" and expose himself to love and communication with others. If one remains in his fears and refuses to come out, he loses that which the Lord accomplished for him. The Enemy will continue to oppress and torment the individual. One must take the step of faith to come out. That is the choice we must all make.

When one makes this choice to come out, he will encounter several barriers to building good relationships, which he must expect and prepare to face.

The first barrier is FEAR. Job once said, "For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me." Job 3:25

As one takes the step to come out, the worst of his fears will come upon him and his first response will be to turn and flee. If he does, he will continue fleeing as he has all his life. This is the time to stop and face the fear of rejection, the fear of accepting love, fear of failure, fear of doing something wrong, fear of being hurt and fear of being known.

FEAR FACED, IS FEAR OVERCOME, but the one driven by fear is like the hunted animal who has no rest. The Lord desires to deliver you from all your fears.

There is a way out:

1. Make a firm decision to come out in spite of your fears. This gives faith a place to work. Believe God for complete victory; believe Him for the impossible.

2. Look fear in the face. What is the worst thing that can happen? Will the Lord be there to see you through? As you look directly at your fear you will see it as a shadow and the more LIGHT you let in the less you see of it.

3. Decide to pay the price, whatever the cost, in order to be free. Come to the point of no return. Do as the British naval captain did when he faced the enemy's ship. He ordered the flag to be nailed to the mast. There would be no surrender, he would fight unto death.

4. Stand on the Word of God. Search for the scriptures that deal with fear and claim them. Apprehend and receive them by faith. That is apprehending Jesus, the Living Word, our Healer.

2Tim 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Psa 118:6 The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?

Pro 29:25 The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.

A lady was constantly tormented by the fear of people. She suffered extreme self-consciousness and fear of rejection. In church or other gatherings she always sat on the back row, never in front of anyone. She knew rejection from childhood. Her father was harsh and critical; other children rejected her because of her family. The words of her mother kept ringing in her ears, "How do you ever think anyone could like you?"

After Israel was delivered from Egypt and came through the Red Sea, God commanded them to possess the land of Promise and that there would be enemies in the land. Even though this young lady was saved (from Egypt and through the Sea), she had much from her past (Egypt) to practically deal with (fears). But now she had the means and the way - Jesus Christ.

In high school, when acceptance is so important, she sat at the front of the class. Unknown to her the girl behind her began to make fun of her before the rest of the class. When she discovered what was going on she thought, "Something must be terrible about me!" She could not find the courage to sit in front of anyone after that. After praying for healing and deliverance, she wrote that she is now sitting in the front row of the church. She took the step of faith and came out of her fears.

Many of you have gone through much worse (of course it's relative, isn't it?) and can testify of God's healing of deep hurts and deliverance in your life. No matter what giants are in the land, they are real to you and can cripple your relationship with God and others. We must all face and overcome them through Jesus Christ. He will give us the victory.

Axhead

 

[dragonfly]

Hi Axehead,

Interesting post. I have a comment, though, which I hope will be helpful for someone.

2. Look fear in the face. What is the worst thing that can happen? Will the Lord be there to see you through? As you look directly at your fear you will see it as a shadow and the more LIGHT you let in the less you see of it.

It's the idea that we look at our fears instead of at the Lord? This is not what happened when the Israelites were told to look at the brazen serpent. They had to look away from the source of their fear to the healing emblem.

My experience of ceasing from or being delivered from (spirits of) fear, is that they happened when I was looking to the Lord. I realise it can feel as if one is leaving strong natural security upon which one has depended for a lifetime - one's own well-controlled self-protective instincts - but they are both inadequate and fallen, and will let us neither die in Christ where we can find relief from them, nor blossom into full fruitfulness.

 

[Axehead]

Hi Axehead,

Interesting post. I have a comment, though, which I hope will be helpful for someone.


It's the idea that we look at our fears instead of at the Lord? This is not what happened when the Israelites were told to look at the brazen serpent. They had to look away from the source of their fear to the healing emblem.

My experience of ceasing from or being delivered from (spirits of) fear, is that they happened when I was looking to the Lord. I realise it can feel as if one is leaving strong natural security upon which one has depended for a lifetime - one's own well-controlled self-protective instincts - but they are both inadequate and fallen, and will let us neither die in Christ where we can find relief from them, nor blossom into full fruitfulness.

Hi dragonfly,

I always appreciate the fact that you read people's posts with thoughtfulness and provide constructive comments.

There are so many ways shown to us in the God's Word it literally requires the Body of Christ to display so many facets of Christ.

What I had in mind when I spoke about "facing your fears" was God requiring Moses to return to Egypt and face the Pharoah but this time not in his strength or name but rather in the Name of the Lord. And abiding by the Lord's way of victory. You bring out another really cool aspect of dealing with fears.

In my experience, God does not let me move on in Him until I deal with what He has "put on my plate", sort of speak. I may resist out of fear, but eventually, like Moses I have to face the thing I really have been trying to avoid. Your view helps and adds to the thread, nicely. Does my explanation also help?

Blessings to you,
Axehead

 

[dragonfly]

Quote
What I had in mind when I spoke about "facing your fears" was God requiring Moses to return to Egypt and face the Pharoah but this time not in his strength or name but rather in the Name of the Lord.

There are many different ways that fears can be tackled. As you state here, Moses had already understood that his aspirations had been scuppered by his own weakenesses, but the strength to go back and face a fear was given by God speaking directly to him. When God has given a command that has been received (rather than resisted) then the person is strengthened (empowered) to carry it out.

This is what Jesus also experienced with regard to facing the cross, I'm sure. Father had given Him a commandment that He could take His life back again. With that word embedded in His heart, He could face death with a different attitude. He still had to exercise faith, though.

Does my explanation also help?

Yes... and maybe I am being nitpicky here, but I still think that the person has to be walking through the situation with the Lord, with His word coming to them and them obeying it. That's where I would put the emphasis, rather than on the facing of fears. That said, these situations are all slightly different and perceived differently by different people, and the Lord knows how to pinpoint the exact issue which the person needs to yield to Him. I think that's the key. It's not about girding oneself up with one's own strength but about placing one's weaknesses His hands.

Of course, one's weaknesses may be something like Moses' - a fierce temper - which sometimes seemed to be a strength which served God's purposes, like when he destroyed the golden calf and called for the men to come over to 'the Lord's side' before they set about killing those who had not come over to the Lord's side; but later, his 'weakness' conflicted with God's request (to just speak to the rock for water to come out) when through unbelief he struck it twice instead. To me this is a great lesson about what God thinks of our natural attributes. Many churches these days seem to think are somehow automatically for God's glory, even if they have never been yielded to Him by consciously identifying them with Christ's death.

I don't want to wander too far from the topic, so coming back to barriers to relationships, with God, unbelief is an extremely important one. It's the one which keeps men and women feeling their separation from God, seemingly unable to overcome the carnal reasonings which make it natural and reasonable to hold to the unbelief instead of to faith. Yet if we want (or need) God to be in our near consciousness, we must believe and keep believing, and do not stop believing no matter what pressure or force appears to be more natural, reasonable or believable.

 

[Axehead]

I don't want to wander too far from the topic, so coming back to barriers to relationships, with God, unbelief is an extremely important one. It's the one which keeps men and women feeling their separation from God, seemingly unable to overcome the carnal reasonings which make it natural and reasonable to hold to the unbelief instead of to faith. Yet if we want (or need) God to be in our near consciousness, we must believe and keep believing, and do not stop believing no matter what pressure or force appears to be more natural, reasonable or believable.

Yes, and I think not understanding the Character of God becomes a barrier to relationship with God. We run and hide when we should be running TO Him.