Divorce rejects God

[arunangelo]

In marriage; a man and woman unite their lives in love. This love that unites them is God. God therefore becomes the binding force in their marriage; and through Him, with Him and in Him they can express His love to one another. God stayed faithful to His covenant with his people (his spouse) although they were unfaithful to Him, rejected Him and betrayed Him. Furthermore, in His faithfulness to the covenant with his people, he saved us from eternal damnation by accepting the most painful death. We too are called to love our spouse as God loved us (Ephesians 5:25). We must therefore deny ourselves and take up our cross daily and follow what Jesus did (Luke 9:23) by accepting pain and suffering in order to bring healing to our spouse; especially when there is hurt, unfaithfulness and betrayal. Those who are obedient to the word of God are able to do this; because faithfulness to His words enables us to live by his spirit.

Since God is the binding force in a marriage it is permanent and no human organization can dissolve it (Matthew 19:4-6). Divorce therefore is rejection of the covenant (binding force), rather than its dissolution. Remarriage after divorce therefore is adultery (Luke 16:18). Furthermore, since God is the binding force in marriage rejection of it through divorce is rejection of God. Furthermore, when we a rejects his spouse through divorce He is rejecting God (Matthew 25:31-46).

 

[aspen]

your post speaks volumes about your lack of experience regarding divorce - i pray that you never have to experience it.

 

[williemac]

your post speaks volumes about your lack of experience regarding divorce - i pray that you never have to experience it.

AMEN!!!

 

[afaithfulone4u]

your post speaks volumes about your lack of experience regarding divorce - i pray that you never have to experience it.

Your comment shows that you have taken a different stance than God's when it comes to divorce which HE HATES. Reconciliation is what God wants. When families separate over petty self centeredness, the children suffer and the family unit is broken and usually the spouses fight over money issues or the absent spouse refuses to support their children thinking the spouse is spending it on the new love of their life instead of THEIR child and the children which was the whole purpose of marriage are destroyed for selfishness and lusts and pass down the lovem and leave em curse to all their generations and will not practice family values and closeness. That is a major reason the world is living in darkness now because we have turned the meaning of what it means to be "a man" into one who can collect as many willing females as he can seduce or deceive to spread his seed and bloodline,, without ever paying for a one of them or "a woman" who is so consumed with her SELF satisfaction that she can't say NO and either keeps having children out of wedlock or aborts "the problem" so to speak. All the while letting the working people pay for them through the WELFARE system which proves that you can hand out free money, but you can't buy souls, you only create laziness with their hands held out come the first of the month.
Luke 16:18
18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
KJV
1 Cor 7:10-16
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
KJV

Ouch! I know that had to sting! But it is meant to open eyes and get some light in there so the darkness can GO in the name of Jesus!

 

[aspen]

i am including you in my pray too, for the same reason.

 

[soupy]

It is true, He hates divorce and has only two provisions for it, adultery and desertion.
Too many people seek their own wants not Him regarding marriage and divorce.
Marriage is a covenant before God.
Divorce really is a problem in the Christian community, our bible does not condone much of the divorce taking place today among Christians.

I personally have not divorced but my parents did, as did my siblings.

 

[LouderthanThunder]

I am going to say this. God is a practical being. He loves us above all else. He did not make his rules as a "follow these or burn" he made them to keep us safe.

If then you are in a relationship that is going to bring great physical or mental harm to yourself or your children then why would God want you to stay in that relationship? How can you condemn any woman who has left her husband because she has had her life threatened countless times? How much terrorization should your children have to cope with before enough is enough? God does not want this.

And then if this woman finds another man who genuinely loves and cares for her then who are you to condemn their relationship as adultery?

I will give you an example here. In India I heard a true story of an Islamic family that comprised of one husband, two wives and their children. The whole family was saved and became Christians. This caused a great amount of strife with the husband as he was then breaking biblical teachings by having two wives so in the end he asked for the advice of the church. What do you think they said?

Keep your two wives. It would be unfair to throw out one to fiend for herself as when you married you promised to support them for life. Go and live in peace. The man to this day has two wives and they are both loved and cared for equally.

The world is not black and white. It is in shades of grey.

 

[williemac]

One thing that I find much of the church ignorant of is the point of many of Jesus' teachings. Paul recieved his revelations from God. He explained to the Galatians, for example, that the law was given to confine them under sin until faith should come. The law was/is a tutor, to lead us to Christ. When Jesus was on the earth, He came to the people who were still under the law. At that time they did not understand the point of it, so Jesus repeatedly would give them an obsticle that they could not overcome, a standard that they could not achieve. He was using the law to reveal to the people the thing that Paul later proclaimed..namely that all have sinned and all fall short of the glory of God. Jesus never let anyone off the hook. While He forgave sin, He never allowed anyone to feel justified by their own resources.

It was in this setting that He talked of divorce. Keep in mind, while some piously refer to the remarried as adulterers, remember that Jesus Himself once announced that even a lustful thought is the same thing as actually committing adultry. No one is innocent. All are guilty. But He did say also that Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of their hearts. In other words, because it was obvious that man in his fallen state cannot live up to the standards that were originally meant for him, concessions were necessary.

Today, we go to councelling sessions with our pastors before tying the knot. Why? So that the two parties are sure of what they are doing. Why? Becuase we are still human and we can still make mistakes.

In fact, even a divorce and a remarriage can be a mistake. But as Jesus told us to forgive seventy times seven, so will He forgive a mistake. For those it may concern, you had better be happy that your mistakes are forgiven. So why do you turn around and hold others in bondage after you have been set free? We'll see what the Master has to say about that.

 

[KingJ]

Good post afaithfulone .

The bible is pretty clear on divorce. Christians have just become weak. We all want to call ourselves Christians. But our fruit is laughable.

A Christian ALWAYS sticks at marriage. IF our spouse cheats, we do 'better' (ie divorce for once-off adultery is fine) to forgive and take back as Jesus says. If our spouse cheats consistently they have completely left us. We are very silly to still be with them! It is only adultery or desertion as Soupy said.

The most common excuse for divorce is assault (physical or mental). Must a wife stay with a husband who physically abuses her? the answer is NO, but NOT to divorce and move on either. You simply go stay with a family member or friend until he comes around. It is a safe assumption that most men who beat their wives are unfaithful. It causes them to lose respect for their wives. Separation will either cause him to come back on his knees or show his new girlfriend.

Aspen 2 would you care to explain a situation that falls outside what Jesus says, that you feel is justification for divorce please.

I am going to say this. God is a practical being. He loves us above all else. He did not make his rules as a "follow these or burn" he made them to keep us safe.

If then you are in a relationship that is going to bring great physical or mental harm to yourself or your children then why would God want you to stay in that relationship? How can you condemn any woman who has left her husband because she has had her life threatened countless times? How much terrorization should your children have to cope with before enough is enough? God does not want this.

And then if this woman finds another man who genuinely loves and cares for her then who are you to condemn their relationship as adultery?

I will give you an example here. In India I heard a true story of an Islamic family that comprised of one husband, two wives and their children. The whole family was saved and became Christians. This caused a great amount of strife with the husband as he was then breaking biblical teachings by having two wives so in the end he asked for the advice of the church. What do you think they said?

Keep your two wives. It would be unfair to throw out one to fiend for herself as when you married you promised to support them for life. Go and live in peace. The man to this day has two wives and they are both loved and cared for equally.

The world is not black and white. It is in shades of grey.

Your advice is unscriptural. Read # 4! If you think Christianity is an easy ride you are in the wrong religion.

On the 2 wives subject. We are more then capable of making educated judgement calls. Paul says 'in his opinion as one entrusted by to give an opinion'. It should be dead obvious that in those circumstances he look after both wives. But he not encourage his sons to follow in his footsteps.

 

[Jan 1111]

The most common excuse for divorce is assault (physical or mental). Must a wife stay with a husband who physically abuses her? the answer is NO, but NOT to divorce and move on either. You simply go stay with a family member or friend until he comes around. It is a safe assumption that most men who beat their wives are unfaithful. It causes them to lose respect for their wives. Separation will either cause him to come back on his knees or show his new girlfriend.

King J --I'm guessing that you don't have any experience with abusive relationships? "Separation will either cause him to come back on his knees or show his new girlfriend" -- Yeah, He'll come back on his knees and if she's unwise enough to take him back then he'll beat her again....there is a cycle to abuse...<nice guy then wife beater which repeats itself over and over> God doesn't want someone who is abused to infinitely suck it up. Unless the abuser gets help and does the footwork to change the abuse cycle will repeat itself. Abusers don't have respect for their wifes.

I am going to say this. God is a practical being. He loves us above all else. He did not make his rules as a "follow these or burn" he made them to keep us safe.

If then you are in a relationship that is going to bring great physical or mental harm to yourself or your children then why would God want you to stay in that relationship? How can you condemn any woman who has left her husband because she has had her life threatened countless times? How much terrorization should your children have to cope with before enough is enough? God does not want this.

Louder than Thunder --Two thumbs up!

 

[KingJ]

King J --I'm guessing that you don't have any experience with abusive relationships? "Separation will either cause him to come back on his knees or show his new girlfriend" -- Yeah, He'll come back on his knees and if she's unwise enough to take him back then he'll beat her again....there is a cycle to abuse...<nice guy then wife beater which repeats itself over and over> God doesn't want someone who is abused to infinitely suck it up. Unless the abuser gets help and does the footwork to change the abuse cycle will repeat itself. Abusers don't have respect for their wifes.

Follow the logic through to the crux. Don't just authorise a blanket ruling that goes against what Jesus said. Like Jesus did not grasp practical Christianity. How can you and loud be that naive?

I have first hand experience with my parents. My dad use to abuse my mom (verbal and phyisical). They were both claiming to be Christians. We would all fight as a result of this. It was terrible. My mom quite correctly decided to take a break, NOT divorce. She is a true Christian and held fast to her marriage vows and scripture by Jesus. Long story short. They are happily married today. My dad had issues with his childhood. He was not cheating or anything. Perhaps just an excuse. But nevertheless, God did a work in him that I do not believe would have been done if my mother never hanged in there.

When a relationship reaches an extreme scenario. That is when change can take place. God can and does step in. God can cause our partner to leave us! But that must come from God, NOT our doing!

Your opinion and take on Christianity is WEAK. You and loud would not last in the lions den. Our obedience is not subject to our happiness, seriously??? I am guessing you have not been a Christian for long.

 

[7angels]

king

what you say is well said but one thing you need to understand is that everyone has a story and all stories rate to be heard. should divorce be taken lightly? no it should not. what does it profit a person to commit one sin just to avoid another? let us use your story as an example. just staying together has caused several other sins to be committed. one, he was not acting as Jesus would so he was a poor example. two, they both got angry(that is 2 more sins), abuse(every offense is a separate sin), going to sleep without forgiving, bad example to the kids, strife, disunity, miscommunication, and only you know how much more they sinned according to the word.

to God one sin is the same as another sin. so getting out of one sin(divorce) to avoid many other sins sounds to me like a great step. i'm not condoning divorce but sometimes we need to choose the lesser of two evils. remember we are no longer under the law but under the law of grace. as long as we are able to forgive and we come before God and ask forgiveness of God then God is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. so if God will forgive and forget why do we feel justified to condemn others when we don't know the circumstances of their relationship with God?

this should be the place where all should be offering encouragement(which is of God) and not condemnation(which is of the devil). God convicts but never condemns. so why is it we condemn others all the time? as the saying goes 'make sure you pull the beam out of your own eye before you try and remove a splinter from someone else's eye'.

God bless

 

[Jan 1111]

Your opinion and take on Christianity is WEAK. You and loud would not last in the lions den. Our obedience is not subject to our happiness, seriously??? I am guessing you have not been a Christian for long.

I've been a Christian all my life (well actually I worshiped trees for the first 45 years..kidding)...I'll let God judge how good a christian I am...not you. Judge not lest ye be judged...thanks and have a great day!

When a relationship reaches an extreme scenario. That is when change can take place. God can and does step in.

Sometimes when the situation reaches that extreme a scenario the woman doesn't live to see another day of abuse. It worked out for your parents but that's not usually the case.

Your opinion and take on Christianity is WEAK. You and loud would not last in the lions den. Our obedience is not subject to our happiness, seriously??? I am guessing you have not been a Christian for long.

What if I were new to Christianity? < hypothetically speaking.> With this kind of judgemental Christian attitude it would turn me off to Christians. But then again, I know better. There are a lot of wonderful Christian people. Having a contemptuous attitude is not becoming. Jesus loved the sinners and "lost sheep". Like the old saying goes "You attract more flies with honey". I'm sorry if I hit on a sore spot about your parents. I too came from a household where my dad abused my mother. There were times it was so bad I thought he was going to kill her. I also don't want people to think that it is ok to stay forever within a dangerous relationship. Like I said, some don't live to tell about it.

 

[Foreigner]

your post speaks volumes about your lack of experience regarding divorce - i pray that you never have to experience it.

Aspen,
I know you went through a painful divorce. I can only imagine how difficult it was for you.
I also know that you did your very best to salvage it but your wife had no interest in doing so.

But you also pointed out the sexual orientation of your spouse. That spouse was willfully living as what she thought was right.
Her lifestyle was an afront to God, and you chose to marry her and in essence provide your support for a lifestyle God finds offensive.

I am curious as to how you would think God would sanction and bring about blesssings on that marraige.......


I cannot speak from experience about divorce, but I can attest how easity it would be to decide to go that route.

This March my wife and I will have been married 19 years. And I am in perpetual thanks.



We were both 'Christians' but had both fallen far away from our faith, living in sin before we even met one another

We were friends for about six months (nothing physical between us) and then started dating in July fo 1993. We became sexually active and I asked her to marry me in December of that year, just before the two of us were to move to Germany as Russian Interpreters. (We were in the military.)

We planned to return to the states in June to be Married, but I ended up getting her pregnant...on the night I asked her to marry me, no less.

I had not consulted God before I asked her to marry me other than some tripe along the lines of, "Lord if this is not your will, don't let it happen, but I'm doing it..."



We ended up marrying in March in Denmark so we wouldn't have to go through the mandatory marraige counseling the military required.
(Maybe the counseling would have helped, maybe not.)

We spent out first year-plus living three hours apart in Germany. Then she had to move back to the States six months before me with our child.
(She could have stayed with me if I had re-upped for one additional year, but I would have then been deployed to Bosnia and she and my child would have spent that year alone in Germany.

Instead, she and our child went to split time back in the States between her parents who were themselves divorced and living roughly 1500 miles apart.

When I returned to the states six months later we were like strangers.

We didn't know how to live together or to come to grips with the each other's idiocyncrasies that we had never had the chance to realize even existed.

Between being dirt poort, realizing how different we really were, and trying to raise a child we were then devasted to have my wife diagnosed as being bipolar and schizophrenic.
To put it bluntly, we were both in LIVING HELL.



Divorce was discussed and seriously so. But I could not picture my wife trying to manage her life and be a mother at the same time. I could have had sole custody but then my daughter would never fully know her mother.

We chose to seek help through the church and while we never had formal counseling, we did have support groups that assisted us. Once my wife was able to find a balance with her medications, I once again was able to see the woman I loved and married in her.

We both rededicated our lives to God and worked to be the person He expected us to be for the other person.

It was touch and go for the first five-plus years, but we were finally able to cross over into the security of a true marraige relationship.
That marraige is strong today, praise God



Here is the point:
We never sought God's will for our lives. We chose to marry because that was what WE wanted.
To this day I don't know what God would have preferred, but He has chosen to bless our dedication to this institution as we have finally turned it over to Him.

And with that he has blessded our love for one another.

My mother and father were married for over 60 years and she made an interesting confession to me several years ago....
My dad had been a heavy drinker early in our relationship and was often little if no help to my mom raising nine kids.
After several years he finally "got sick and tired of being sick and tired" and quit.
He and my mother then developed a love that has stood the test of time.
She told me though, (and this was in the early 90s) that "if divorce was no big deal back then like it is today" she would have likely left him.
I was stunned, but she said how thankful she is not that she didn't divorce him. He has been her joy since then.



I cannot speak for people in abusive relationships. But it seems that in this thread that one scenario is being used to justify all divorce.


What it comes down to is this:
If you truly believe that God is a God of miracles who will heal those who ask in His will, then you have the right to believe that He will heal your marriage.

Maybe not in the timetable you expect, or in the method you would prefer.....but He is capable of bringing total and complete healing no matter WHAT the issue is.

To not believe that is to doubt God Himself.

If you entered into the relationship of marraige of your own free will and you are a Christian, then you KNOW you also entered into a Covenent with God.




.

 

[aspen]

i did not know my wife's orientation until we were married for six years. i realize that i have been public about this information in the past, Foreigner, but it is my burden and my story to tell so i am asking you to please let me make the decision about when to share it. thanks

Here is a question that relates to the OP:

What if your spouse divorces you?

And

What if you forgive them without being asked?

Is God going to refuse to forgive them?

 

[soupy]

What if your spouse divorces you?

If your wife leaves you and is not willing to reconcile, that sounds like desertion, the wife has willingly deserted the marriage.
Some believe you are then free to marry, others say never to remarry.

 

[Foreigner]

i did not know my wife's orientation until we were married for six years. i realize that i have been public about this information in the past, Foreigner, but it is my burden and my story to tell so i am asking you to please let me make the decision about when to share it. thanks

-- This was informaton you put into the public domain on this very web site.

The information was unsolicited and you shared it with the specific intention of having people here - as well as anyone who would choose to visit this site - be aware of it.

Translation: You WANTED people to be aware of this part of your life.

Sorry but it has already been "shared." Kind of hard to undo that.

I won't ask how it could be possible - by any stretch of the imagination - to be unaware of a spouses sexual orientation for the first six years of marraige.

 

[justaname]

-- This was informaton you put into the public domain on this very web site.

The information was unsolicited and you shared it with the specific intention of having people here - as well as anyone who would choose to visit this site - be aware of it.

Translation: You WANTED people to be aware of this part of your life.

Sorry but it has already been "shared." Kind of hard to undo that.

I won't ask how it could be possible - by any stretch of the imagination - to be unaware of a spouses sexual orientation for the first six years of marraige.

And I wont answer if she hid it from you.

 

[aspen]

well foreigner i was not critising you for your post. i was simply making a request. i do not believe i am asking too much of you. i also do not expect you to understand how anyone could be married for six years without knowing the sexuality of their spouse - nor am i required to give you any explanation.

 

[KingJ]

king

what you say is well said but one thing you need to understand is that everyone has a story and all stories rate to be heard. should divorce be taken lightly? no it should not. what does it profit a person to commit one sin just to avoid another? let us use your story as an example. just staying together has caused several other sins to be committed. one, he was not acting as Jesus would so he was a poor example. two, they both got angry(that is 2 more sins), abuse(every offense is a separate sin), going to sleep without forgiving, bad example to the kids, strife, disunity, miscommunication, and only you know how much more they sinned according to the word.

to God one sin is the same as another sin.

God bless

No offence, but the assumption that sin is sin has to be one of the most naive Christian statements.

Sin is NOT sin. Sure, no sin will be in God's presence. We are going from glory to glory. We must judge all things. We must work out our salvation in fear and trembling. We will be rewarded according to our works in heaven. We can push the envelope and God can hand us over to a reprobate mind, we can make shipwreck of our salvation. Commit an unpardonable sin. Then there is the logic given to us by God in marriage / relationships. We ARE to see ourselves as either engaged or married to Christ our groom. I will forgive my wife for a multitude of sins as the commitment in love she made to me out-weighs everything she can do except for adultery. As for my fiance....she needs to walk a narrow path with me. Any sign of her cheating, murdering, being gay....and I will run. I am curious as to how you judge yourself in fear and trembling. If my kid can discern extremities of giving in to the flesh, how much more should I?

Then looking at our shadow the OT, clearly different punishment for different crimes!

Lets not be ignorant, there are levels of rebellion.

I've been a Christian all my life (well actually I worshiped trees for the first 45 years..kidding)...I'll let God judge how good a christian I am...not you. Judge not lest ye be judged...thanks and have a great day!

What if I were new to Christianity? < hypothetically speaking.> With this kind of judgemental Christian attitude it would turn me off to Christians. But then again, I know better. There are a lot of wonderful Christian people. Having a contemptuous attitude is not becoming. Jesus loved the sinners and "lost sheep". Like the old saying goes "You attract more flies with honey". I'm sorry if I hit on a sore spot about your parents. I too came from a household where my dad abused my mother. There were times it was so bad I thought he was going to kill her. I also don't want people to think that it is ok to stay forever within a dangerous relationship. Like I said, some don't live to tell about it.

You need to go do a bible study on judging. You are confusing context of saved with unsaved and judging with condemning.

1 Cor 6:3 Know you not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? and 1 Cor 2:15 But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.....judged by no man because we must judge ourselves...1 Cor 11:31 But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment.

If we don't want judgement according to clear Christian standards in the bible to come upon us, we must not call ourselves Christians.