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Fed up with American Christian churches

Discussion in 'The Church Forum' started by kittehsareinsane, Feb 5, 2022.

  1. kittehsareinsane

    kittehsareinsane New Member

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    When I compare the new church to the modern church, the modern church is NOTHING like the new church. With the new church fellowship occurred both at church AND in real life, everyone was included, and the new church made sure nobody went without.

    With the modern church, I hear incessantly 'we love and accept everyone', but in reality, this isn't true because the church caters to extroverts, marrieds raising families, and neurotypicals (those who don't have Asperger's syndrome and/or autism). If you don't fall under one or all of the aforementioned three categories you're forgotten. Fellowship is relegated to church on Sunday and small groups, but I don't see it carrying over into real life.

    I am tired of the rudeness, the insensitivity, the selfishness, and being so focused on their perspective, they don't even try to understand the other person's viewpoint. I am also very tired of the go-to in-regards to helping someone ALWAYS being encouragement. I don't have an issue with encouragement in and of itself, there's nothing wrong with it, however it's not always the solution, nor is it always the appropriate thing to do depending upon what the situation is. There's nothing wrong with encouragement, there is however a huge problem with being so fixated on positivity and encouragement that the church basically refuses to talk about anything difficult/serious/'heavy' which isn't healthy and it's definitely NOT biblical to do this.



    I am tired of Christians saying 'we love and care about you' but if you don't act and think like they want/think you should act and/or are difficult to love, you're basically rejected. I am also tired of Christians refusing to serve if it means being inconvenienced and/or it makes them feel uncomfortable.


    When I went to church, I expected to receive support, to be able to confide in the church, to receive practical help beyond just encouragement and unsolicited advice. Instead, I'm forgotten, and have basically given up hope that I'll actually find a church where I'm truly included, because I'm not a neurotypical, not an extrovert and am an older single. Yes, I'm very angry with the church but t's for the very reasons mentioned above, but I have been hurt and forgotten by the church, and this didn't happen instantaneously, I have dealt with this with basically every church I have ever been to.

    I am tired of being misunderstood incessantly; I expect this from the secular world. However I didn't expect this type of treatment from the church, which just exacerbates the pain. I don't expect them to completely understand me when they don't have Asperger's syndrome (which I do), however I am not asking them to completely understand me, I'm asking they make the effort to try to understand me, and I don't even see that much occurring.
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2022
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  2. quietthinker

    quietthinker Well-Known Member

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    The chaste woman in Revelation 12 in time morphs into the whore of Revelation 17
    In Revelation 12 the chaste woman fled into the wilderness. In Revelation 17 John was taken into the wilderness to see an unchaste woman on a beast. Vs 6 tells us when he saw her he marvelled with great amazement.

    You speak of the new Church by which I'm assuming you mean the early Church having certain admirable qualities and you compare it to the current Church which makes your heart sink. No doubt it made John's heart sink also.

    God nevertheless knows his people and calls for them to come out of Babylon....the apostate system. Revelation 18:4
     
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  3. bbyrd009

    bbyrd009 Groper

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    figured out what wilderness means, huh?
    Fwiw you have not been forgotten by the real Church imo; it's just the one made of Living Stones, not the ones that are identified to us


    i'd ask why you are talking to people, but not talking to them doesn't seem to be a whole lot better lol...but you might limit yourself to replies in their language, so to speak
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 5, 2022
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  4. FHII

    FHII Well-Known Member

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    That's pretty heavy stuff and quite a few hard charges and accusations.

    But I understand.

    This is a societal problem as well, and one churches have failed to address and offer a remedy. It is a situation that they could help, however.

    I have my presumptions on what's going on, but I will hold off on speaking them. For now, would you like to be friends and tell me your thoughts?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 5, 2022
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  5. kittehsareinsane

    kittehsareinsane New Member

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    I suppose I'll be your friend, however I don't consider you my friend yet because I just met you.

    My thoughts are that the modern church has been turned into a social club, and that people whether Christian or not go there basically to be entertained. The issues I me weren't accusations, they were the truth, what I've observed from going to church.
    Neurotypicals expect me to communicate and think like they do, which is impossible for me to do because I'm not a neurotypical. I am so tired of being forced to be a square peg in a round hole; they expect me to act and think a certain way (,like a Neurotypical) then get frustrated when I fail with doing this, when the reason I fail with acting like a Neurotypical is because I'm not one! I don't have a problem with them supporting marrieds, neurotypicals and extroverts; my problem is that the modern American Christian church has become so fixated on catering to these groups of people that it's at the expense of these things!
     
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  6. Lambano

    Lambano Well-Known Member

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    I hear you. For what it's worth, my grandson has Asperger's and I've seen how difficult it is for him to relate to others. And for others to relate to him, including us his grandparents. That's a very human thing, and I don't know how to fix it.

    Were you able to talk to the church leadership and let them know what your needs are? Most of us neurotypicals simply don't know and don't understand.
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2022
  7. JohnPaul

    JohnPaul Soldier of Jehovah and Christ

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    You forgot to mention homosexuals and everything LGTB, I sympathize with you and believe and agree with what you say.
     
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  8. mailmandan

    mailmandan Well-Known Member

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    When I first became a Christian the first Christian church I attended was full of too many people who came across as judgmental, mean spirited and self righteous. After attending there for around 3 months, I remember turning to my wife during a sermon and stating to her, “Christian or not Christian, people are still people!”
     
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  9. Behold

    Behold Well-Known Member

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    If you really want to be a servant of God, then stop all concern about what the "church" is doing, and end all concern about "other Christians should be doing this"...

    See, all that is just wasted focus, as you can't change any of that......all you can do and all you should do is be dependable, and available, for God to use you.
    Set your mind on THAT, and get your mind off of yourself, and how you feel, and what you see that you dont like about Christianity.

    Decide Today to make your walk with God only about you and Him and Christ, and then God will make your walk what it should be, always.
     
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  10. Lambano

    Lambano Well-Known Member

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    @Behold, I'm going to have to partially disagree with you. While I agree that a Christian's vocation is to serve Christ and that should be their focus, one of the church's jobs is to help find places where individuals can use their unique God-given gifts and talents. And that means getting to know the "square pegs" so that they can find square holes.

    More important, and this is important to me: A church is a FAMILY, and we have a responsibility to care for our brothers and sisters. "If a man has 100 sheep and one of them gets lost, does he not leave the ninety-and-nine and seek the one that was lost?" Jesus cares about the drunks and the hookers and the tax collectors - and the square pegs.
     
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  11. Behold

    Behold Well-Known Member

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    Try to be less "church" minded and more "serve God with my life" minded.

    The reason i say this, is because you can waste your entire Christian life believing that you are serving God by being on Time every Sunday so that you can all get out at the same time to go to the restaurant.

    You can believe that what goes on inside the Church walls, other then an alter call, is not that important, once you have learned the Faith basics and have grounded your belief system in : Hebrews 13:9.

    If you have children, then of course, your have to spend your life inside the church walls, till they are old enough to figure it all out.

    Otherwise....

    God actually does not need church membership, he needs "here i am send me".
    That is what God is wanting, and can rarely find.
     
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  12. Lambano

    Lambano Well-Known Member

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    :rolleyes:
     
  13. Behold

    Behold Well-Known Member

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    Sure you can do that.
    Its immature, but, i understand.

    +listen....Here is the thing im trying to show you, Lambano..

    Be this one.....
    This one....
    Not just a Pew warmer...

    = ""Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.""""
     
  14. Lambano

    Lambano Well-Known Member

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    Son, I'm rolling my eyes because you apparently don't know what it's like to sling hash for a long line of hungry people, or to hand out supplies to families in need, or to take a sister in Christ to the hospital and stay with her because she has no other transportation and no other family, or to sit up with a brother in Christ recovering from open heart surgery so his wife can run necessary errands, or to set up connections for elderly folks who have no one but their church, or just talk with someone who's lonely...

    "Inasmuch as you have done this for the least of these my brothers and sister, you have done so for me."

    I've experienced all this through institutional church structures. A church is so much more than meeting on Sunday morning.

    Do you hear the need the in the voice of your brother kittehsareinsane? Do you hear the loneliness?
     
  15. Behold

    Behold Well-Known Member

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    -------
     
  16. Behold

    Behold Well-Known Member

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    First of all, dont call me "son" and i wont call you fool.
    Fair enough?

    Next.

    Its true that ive been in the Ministry for over 30 yrs......but...also..
    In my life, ive worked in Health Care as a Specialized Nurse.
    Ive also worked as an industrial Draftsman.
    Ive worked in Christian Radio.
    THats 3, and i can name that many more "careers".

    So, what you need to do, Lambano... is actually think before you speak, and never assume too much regarding people you've never met, other then to try to offend on a Christian forum.
     
  17. GEN2REV

    GEN2REV Well-Known Member

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    2 Corinthians 6:17
    Isaiah 52:11
    Revelation 18:4
    Proverbs 18:1 (<<KJV translation only)
     
  18. Enoch111

    Enoch111 Well-Known Member

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    There is a lot of truth to this. The trend towards making worship services into entertainment sessions began some time back. Bands, rock music, "worship teams", paid singers, extremely loud music, banishment of hymn books, and sermons with little or no Gospel and Bible content crept into many churches claiming to be "seeker friendly". Then the Charismatic phenomenon added to the confusion. Finally false doctrines and practices also crept it.

    However, you should keep looking for a fellowship which is based on following the New Testament pattern.
     
  19. amigo de christo

    amigo de christo Well-Known Member

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    exactly my friend . The new testament pattern . The biblical pattern in all things . exactly .
     
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  20. MatthewG

    MatthewG Well-Known Member

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    Hello to you the reader,

    Church is a funny word.

    Here recently have been going more often to church.

    The preaching or if they teach verse by verse is okay at best. Having investigated and searched the Bible for myself has helped me greatly understand what is suppose to be done, along with a teacher who helped me along to as God helped me grow in Christ.

    People who are of Christ and live by the spirit, even if they are married, are seemingly alone though having God their with them, by the Holy Spirit and the spirit of Christ being within them.

    It’s called suffering… there are three Greek words for this so you may desire to look up them and see which fits in the context of scripture when it talks about it.

    The Christian life is a difficult one because it requires you to self sacrifice yourself of your desires and passion upon the cross with Christ and to be buried with him in his death. Then be raised again to new life. Not everyone may desire that type of life and have a hard time transitioning from the flesh to the spirit.

    To expect people to rely on you, or need you, and to help you; seems illogical at least to my understanding because as a 30 year old male, who lives alone the only help I may get is from my mother. (Subsequently there are few that may help you).


    There are people I see and met through life and you let them know your interest of God and Jesus Christ and you try to be interested in their interest but all you personally have to offer is Jesus Christ and God and prayer and if they would like to read scripture, and learn about things of God.

    It seems that people may avoid you like the plague. Being someone who likes to go to church only to see the people when comes to preaching or the teaching, I don’t care what they may say at all, it was good enough for them to share it; and that I’m thankful for.

    I like honesty, and upfrontness. I don’t care about the extra curricular activities, I just desire to hear the word of God presented and taught… and I’ve started my own YouTube just to do it in an organized manner.

    I don’t need to hear Jesus died for me and rose again for me anymore. I need to hear about Jesus and a verse by verse the in turns has an effect by the hearing of scripture and leading people to be more filled by the spirit.

    People still waiting on Jesus to come back, as a believer I believe he done came back: you mention that to someone at church they will pass along the message and people may dislike you or something.

    As one person had mentioned people are people, he is right. People are people with freewill and they decided how they need to handle their life and it will always be between them and God, and always boils down to having faith and ultimately love for God and others.

    It’s best not to judge others but instead judge ourselves in how one conducts his or her life either in or out of the material building.

    In love,
    Matthew Gallagher
     
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