I did not realize until 15 years later that I received what is called Prevenient Grace. Here is how I first received the Holy Spirit. Both times was while I was driving. Once to work in the morning and again about a week later coming home from work. Both times I had nothing of the sort on my mind during my long commute back then.
In the mornings, I used to often listen to audiobooks. I was preparing to get off the highway. So, my mind shifted focus from listening to the book on cruise control to slowing down and getting in the RH lane. Suddenly I got a very specific idea: tell my doctor to reschedule his upcoming trip to Haiti. I thought that was so weird. Where did that idea come from? Why would I think that? I instantly recognized it as
not really a thought of my own, a quiet whisper.
I wasn't sure what to make of it since nothing quite like that ever happened before. Honestly, I did not give it much more thought. About a week later (and a few days before my scheduled visit with my doctor) I was driving home in the dark, tired and thinking about the challenges of the day and how to handle it.
All of a sudden the thought was more urgent,
authoritative tell my doctor to reschedule his upcoming trip to Haiti and this time, accompanied by a vision. The vision was outside by the countryside. A military jeep with a mounted gun with 3 men were driving south on a dirt road toward an even smaller road heading west (on their left). The doctor was there with a couple of others in the Doctors Without Borders program. I got the sense there would be a dreadful case of mistaken identity.
Because I considered myself primarily a humanist, I felt embarrassed thinking about telling the doctor. Yet, one feeling above all others dominated: obey. More, it was not me being subjugated into doing what I was told. It was a feeling of profound honor to be given the message and an honor to act on it. I was trusted with a matter of life and death, important in God's divine plan. So, the dominant feeling was a
yearning to fulfill a high honor to obey.
Still, I was reluctant and felt a bit silly and told the doctor so. He was a devout Christian and took my message extremely seriously. At that point his trip was 3-4 months off. He asked me a very specific question. Was the message I got that he should STOP doing missionary work in Haiti or just this trip. I did not think but
knew the answer. I answered with full authority. The message is only to postpone his upcoming trip.
At that point, you could dismiss it as some weird fluke. About 6 or 7 months later I went back to the doctor. It was about mid Fall. I had a sore throat. When the business of that visit was over, I asked him what happened with his trip to Haiti.
He said he got
another unsolicited message to delay his trip. He obeyed, re-scheduled his trip for a few weeks later and had a productive yet uneventful trip.
When he told me he got another unsolicited message to delay his trip, I took that as
objective confirmation of divine intervention, that I was blessed, honored, greatly humbled and yearn to be in such communion again. See Acts 2:16-18 (NLT)
16 No, what you see was predicted long ago by the prophet Joel:
17 ‘In the last days,’ God says,
‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy.
Your young men will see visions,
and your old men will dream dreams.
18 In those days I will pour out my Spirit
even on my servants—men and women alike—
and they will prophesy.
During my separation and divorce, my social network collapsed. Friends I had for 20-30 years were suddenly unavailable, as they were going through their own trials: Marc, Vinny, Rita & John, etc. The stress of the divorce caused physiological symptoms, particularly TIA - mini-strokes. So, I was having neurological issues.
I also began to see small but bright lights or orbs, like the pic below, in different places - at work, home, in hotel rooms - often about 15 feet from me. They seemed to be watching me.
I talked to my born again Christian doctor, who assured me this was not a symptom of the TIA's. Once in a hotel room I approached the orbs, convinced they were supernatural in origin. I thought perhaps they were loved ones who came to watch over me during this difficult period in my life. Unfortunately, I got a strange void feeling when I talked with them, an emptiness that left me unsettled.
How could I think badly about loved ones who passed away? Then I had a very powerful dream.
In the dream I woke up on my stomach, sleeping on a mirror. I sensed more than saw a demon at the foot of my bed. His malevolent intent caught me by surprise.
As I became more aware of my surroundings, I became aware of another demon just outside the bedroom, hiding and even more menacing than the first. Then the scene switched. I was now in my backyard, near my neighbors fence. The two demons where there in the same relative position to me as in the bedroom.
Then I sensed a 3rd demon, who was much more malicious than the other 2. He was mostly hiding behind a tree. Their menace poured into me. I was dressed in linen, like Jesus, and put my arms out straight by my side as if on the cross, open to take their evil (not resisting their evil, Mat 5:39),
relying not on my power but the power of my faith in God.
As their menace poured into me, I began to levitate up to 15-20 feet high. Words came out of my mouth, saying with no fear at all but more confidence than I ever had about anything,
"I am a soldier of Christ." I believe the truth about who I was, was revealed to me in that dream. Their evil malevolence weakened as I slowly returned to Earth. The demons fled and I woke greatly agitated, sweating and breathing heavily.
I told my boss, who was a devout born again Christian about all this. The dream could have only been a dream but he said he believes that I am seeing lights follow me around. He was very concerned about it.
He told me even though I am not a Christian and do not believe in Jesus, the next time I see the orbs, to tell them,
"In the name of Jesus Christ, go away and do not return and do not interact with those lights again. I did as he said. The 3 orbs
never returned.
Yes, I am here to testify of the power of the name of Jesus Christ! (Not bad for a non-Christian, huh?)
During the Great Recession, I went 2 years without a job and lost 2 houses. I began praying like I did as a kid, to a God, rather than meditate. I wrote a suicide note and prayed. I got a small message back, some would call the Holy Spirit, not to do it; that He had plans for me. If I only held out a little longer. About 4 weeks before I was going to get evicted, I got a job offer in Ohio.
There I met a Christian coworker and Kim, a devout Christian who became my 2nd wife. After 5 years she convinced me to read the Bible. After reading it daily for a month, it changed me. In the evenings, I did spirit lead reading for 2-3 hours. I felt the Spirit come to me and saw an angel appear for a couple of seconds. This was Prevenient Grace. I took Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Savior a few months after reading the Bible and Eric Sheldon, an online contact, explained how I can reconcile this as not breaking the 1C. Jesus is the gate between us and God. Sylvia Browne explained that every universe has a different heaven with a different Messiah, a different son of God.
My life has not gone in the direction I wanted. But I am at peace that my life has gone in the direction God called me to.
