FUNNIES

[Jay Ross]

Not the right thread for sort of stuff. It's not funny.

I thought that the posters needed an education on what the dictionary had as the meaning of the word "liberal."

But your post was funny though by what you said. LOL

PS: - was there a need for you to comment? Would it have been better if you had just not posted any reply to my post? I was hoping that members would just let what I had posted simply fade into the ether of the internet along with the other supposedly funny posts on the word "LIBERAL".

 

[Pearl]

I thought that the posters needed an education on what the dictionary had as the meaning of the word "liberal."

But your post was funny though by what you said. LOL

PS: - was there a need for you to comment? Would it have been better if you had just not posted any reply to my post? I was hoping that members would just let what I had posted simply fade into the ether of the internet along with the other supposedly funny posts on the word "LIBERAL".

This is a light hearted thread and not the place for to 'educate' members. Start your own thread if you want to discuss the meaning of liberal.

 

[Pearl]

 

[Pearl]

 

[Pearl]

 

[Pearl]

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

Well, I went to the doctor the other day and when I got there, I told the receptionist I had a 1:30pm appointment.

She said which doctor?

I said, regular doctor please!

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

I went to the doctor the other day with a suspicious looking mole,
and you wouldn't believe what the doctor told me.

He said they all look like that, and I should have left him in the garden!

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

A large shoe factory burned down in Omaha the other day…
Sadly, 4000 soles were lost.

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

I was shopping the other day and there were issues with my credit card working, so the cashier says "strip down facing me"

By the time I realized she was talking about my credit card... it was too late!

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

My grandpa told me he got to see the Titanic and that from the beginning he told them not to get onboard because he knew it was going to sink. But, no one listened and he repeatedly told them right up until they kicked him out of the movie theater...

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

My uncle Harry died when he was crushed by a piano

His funeral was low key - B Flat!

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

My wife signed me up for a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

Just had an officer come to the door saying he was looking for a man with one eye.

I told him if he'd use both eyes, he might find him quicker

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

Yeah, I wasn't able to make reservations at the library

They were completely booked!

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Did you hear about the movie Constipation?
Can't say that I have.

That's because it hasn't come out yet

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

The police just showed up and took the dog.
What for???

Un-paid barking tickets!

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I had a date recently and I asked her to meet me at the gym.

But, when she didn’t show up I knew we weren’t going to work out.

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[Big Boy Johnson]

My son, Luke, loves how I named my kids after Star Wars characters

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much

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Want to know what really makes my day?
The rotation of the earth!

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[Big Boy Johnson]

The guy who stole my diary died yesterday

My thoughts are with his family

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My wife asked me the other day if I had seen the dog bowl

I told her I didn't know he could

 

[Big Boy Johnson]

I used to be in a band, we were called ‘Lost Dog’...
You probably saw our posters around town.

Our hits songs were "Bark in the Park", and I'll be Sniffin My Way Back to you"

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I told all my kids when they were little that I had a dream the night before, and I ate a giant marshmallow in my dream, and in the morning, my pillow was missing

They all believed me.

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[Big Boy Johnson]

I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help.

But I stand corrected.

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Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I'm not going to spread it