God/atheist/us
I fear nothing but myself!
I fear nothing but myself!
10-27-29-2011
I go thought life always about to end my life something will happen and I want to die because what happens to me in my life that brings reason my way. Get honest to me who does not have this felling in their life pain is a part we all must deal with? Life is full of ups and downs we all must deal with in our life.I been so down that I put no value to my life in the 80’s I once play Russian roulette with a 380 automatic pistol with all bullets in but my friend stop us and was going first. I always saw my life as no value to me I believe life has no value because life goes on. Some self-righteousness fools the Christian kind wanted to nail me to a cross to teach me a lesson.
My Christian side is my belief in the improvable of life and my atheist side is my unbelief in the improvable of life so it means nothing to me. I choice to fight my unbelief with my believes in a God that I cannot prove the very things I work to move in my heart because that is the only place things can be proven. If we get truthful with life we battle against each day we walk on this earth whether, we believe in a God like I do or we do not.
I had to asked myself do I want to life when I had the Stoke in 2008 because I might never have a life like I was having before again because I could not talk understandable right then. I know my aunt never recover e, from her Stoke but live a long life but I am talking again. That is some of my downs in my life that I had to deal with in my life but I recover all of them and I shall recover until I die.
I walk in this world unsure of what tomorrow will bring me whether an up where I am glad or down were I feel like killing myself again. I must face what ever comes my way as Christ leads the path I travel. With Christ there is nothing I will not over come because will lead me to awake from my darkest hour.
There only things I must deal with in my life but I can overcome any trouble that come in my path while I might have a hard time sometimes I will overcome. As we deal with everyday we walk on this earth we all have ups and downs even some will not tell the truth. Truth sets us free from all pain of our life but not facing the truth about us will kill us one day.
God is truth to us only but God cannot be proven as real as God cannot be proven a lie because God is more than things proven and less than things that can be proven. Otherwise no man can prove there is a God and no man can prove there is not a God. It is more than our simple brains can image and less than our simple brains can image.
So who cares I do in my simple mind I care about the things I cannot prove and the things that are more than I can figure out. Life has many mysteries in it like where I came from in the first place the dirt that makes up me what is basic of dirt otherwise what came first before there was dirt the image of dirt or dirt itself. You see questions can be unanswerable to us and answerable to us.
If you ask yourself what is the value of life you will get answers from money to people to things more than can be named because everybody has their ideal of what life to them. To me life is always changing as I grow into understanding of what is to me at any given moment of time? Life is like God always changing to the image that I saw the time I saw life the more than the image and less than the image was.
Now do not get wrong life is valuable to me but I make my own reasons to act or not act it is me that walks on this world and its me who cries when all things close on him. I have made up in the mind of my heart to believe in God and to try to overcome the unbelief that I battle to live. The biggest that I battle is we all die I am trying to make myself believe I will live on and death has no hold on me.
I long for the day when I awake from this body of flesh image that will die to am image that cannot die death is nothing but a stage of life. Death is birth into a place of glory as we begin again with life that cannot die without pain of this world. A world of Love with endless love without sadness of any kind no more pain just life after life because God is the father of life.
I no longer fear because I know I will overcome death because I battle my fears every moment that I breathe in this evil world. I look forward to the moment that I am not in this evil world because I have pass from death to a greater life than I had before the moment that I am more than I was. I am a flesh creature but I will be like God in the image of Christ himself a join heir of God creation.
I am willing over my fears as Christ won over his that we hung Jesus on the cross to die for us but Christ got up from that death on the cross. Life is a gain and to die is a gain for God because in death we see God face to face we are born into life. My words seen vain but they are not they are the truth with love and a holy kiss from Roy.
