I love the Babylon Bee!

[marks]

"Loaded guns are healthcare, full stop," said Planned Parenthood CEO Jennifer Welch. "We need to get as many loaded guns into the hands of women with unwanted pregnancies as possible. It's the compassionate thing to do."

At publishing time, Planned Parenthood had announced they will soon be mailing out pruning shears for at-home gender surgery.

In Lieu Of Abortion Pills, Planned Parenthood Begins Mailing Out Loaded Guns

 

[marks]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrat Senator Dianne Feinstein has announced she will be temporarily stepping away from her seat on the Judiciary Committee to head toward a warm, bright light that seems to be beckoning her.

"I can't help it, it's so beautiful," said the 438-year-old Senator, known affectionately by colleagues as the "Crone of the Senate." "There's a feeling of warm, calming peace in this glowing orb at the end of this tunnel that just appeared in front of my eyes just now. I must see what lies at the end of it."

Feinstein Steps Away From Judiciary Committee To Head Toward Bright Light

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrat Senator Dianne Feinstein has announced she will be temporarily stepping away from her seat on the Judiciary Committee to head toward a warm, bright light that seems to be beckoning her.

babylonbee.com

 

[Lambano]

At publishing time, Planned Parenthood had announced they will soon be mailing out pruning shears for at-home gender surgery.