I need help and guideness...

[amoy]

My church friends who is 22 in church was lie by guy who is 17...my friend semi force by the guy for sex...and my friend is just come out from hospital because bacteria infection cause of sex...now that guy tell her want to end the relationship because that guy said he feel not holy in the position he stand...because two of them are 1 of the youth leader...so that girl tell me and another guy...we totally cannot accept because the 17 guy look so good...he is just like so obedience....who know what this guy is another face...they have the first sex 3 weeks ago and because of my friend loss her virginity so she have sex with that guy when that guy want it...Now she is come out from hospital and her menstrual is late and not yet come...so she afraid she is pregnant...and she very regret and that guy feel nothing...just break off and do not talk to her anymore...is that guy is want to hold his own post so he break off..and is he play my friends?I don't know how to help...please pray to my friend too...TQ

 

[Pariah]

Hi amoy,Sorry to hear that about your friend.As for the guy, he has been caught in a trespass. He already met with her and says he does not want to meet her because he does not feel "holy". He is more than likely not willing to receive any correction privately from you or from her. Plus it may be dangerous if he is playing her.With your friend, bring it to the attention of two or three elders, including the pastor. If he is playing you, maybe someone else has reported the same thing. If not, they should confront him and speak of his fault. If he does not listen, then they are to bring him before the congregation. Maybe more witnesses will pop up if he is playing your friend. In which case, I would think an arrest is in order than just a simple excommunication, because he gave in to temptation and lust and took someone forcibly to lie with her and blames himself for not feeling "holy" every time he sees her because he is attracted to her only... (this saying if he was not playing her but is attracted to her in a carnal way)... which still doesn't excuse him from doing what he did. Maybe Denver or gibby, whom are police officers, has a better idea on how to handle this situation since your friend has not obviously reported this "rape"? Or has she? I am not sure if they can advise you either if you live in Malaysia. They may not know the laws regarding that country, but who knows? Maybe they have resources that know resources.I guess I do not have the full story if she met with him, and he says that to her about not wanting to see her anymore because he does not feel holy.I shall pray for your friend and for you in helping her, as well as for the Lord to convict the youth leader to come clean if he is expected to continue to serve as a youth leader, let alone, even if removed from his position of the youth leader, to be as a follower of Jesus. May the Lord help him to do this if he is not playing your friend and had not done this to anyone else either.

 

[amoy]

thank you Pariah..but now I just get know that she check out she is pregnant...She ask me not to told the elder because those elder will spread to the whole church and they will kick out of the church and their future will gone...that girl was very clever ...every other youth parents hope that their own children will be like her...she dont want them disapointed...She don't want let the other leader and pastor feel sad...So she now really very hate that guy..that guy actually same age with me...I really cannot accept he is doing such thing to my this good leader...

 

[JIP]

Hi Amoy,Appa khabar?I was sorry to hear the story lah. Pariah had already voiced most of my concerns, but is your friend going to keep quiet to save the guys face? Cant she meet the guy and tell him that she is pregnant. Or even meet his parents as they most probably come to the same church. Really what can one do but pray under such circumstances. I chakap sadikit sadikit Melayu. Saya sudah lupah banyak.Be Blessed Always

 

[amoy]

I am a Chinese so u no need speak to me Malay...Her parents very fierce...Especially her dad...Her dad will kick her out of the family...She say that she don't want both of them die together...Her body actually very weak...There is also some problem to bare the child...So it might die because her body cannot endure it...The guy just 17...Sorry to about he is a suck but he really is...He is a leader and he force my girl leader like that...That guy quite clever..He slowly chase my friend...and then force my friend..and you know girl's heart..easy soft so...semi force...my friend try to run away but he pull back her to the bed...

 

[JIP]

Amoy leaving out the details of the incident, why cant she approach the hospital and do the needful check-ups. She has to wait till the guy is 18 to speak legally about marriage right? But she has to approach the church bearers. This is the best solution I guess.Keeping silent because of fear is dangerous to her health.Will pray for her.Be Blessed

 

[amoy]

thanks...