Is it ok to have humor here?

  • Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.

    You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

theefaith

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2020
20,070
1,354
113
63
Dallas
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Bankers convention cancelled due to a lack of interest!

psychic’s convention cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!

fortune tellers convention cancelled due to insufficient funds!

original rules of golf:

1. You must Tee your Ball within a Club's length of the Hole.

( I would make a hole in one everytime)

2. Your Tee must be upon the Ground.

(Where do you get those floating tees anyway)

3. You are not to change the Ball which you Strike off the Tee.

(It’s not a baby with dirty diapers)

4. You are not to remove Stones, Bones or any Break Club, for the sake of playing your Ball, Except upon the fair Green and that only / within a Club's length of your Ball.

(It’s ok to remove a bone on the green) (maybe that’s for golf in the garden of eden, and thats the origin of the LPGA)

5. If your Ball comes among watter, or any wattery filth, you are at liberty to take out your Ball & bringing it behind the hazard and Teeing it, you may play it with any Club and allow your Adversary a Stroke for so getting out your Ball.

6. If your Balls be found any where touching one another, You are to lift the first Ball, till you play the last.

7. At Holling, you are to play your Ball honestly for the Hole, and not to play upon your Adversary's Ball, not lying in your way to the Hole.

(No lying)

8. If you should lose your Ball, by it's being taken up, or any other way, you are to go back to the Spot, where you struck last, & drop another Ball, And allow your adversary a Stroke for the misfortune.

(Rapture warning)

9. No man at Holling his Ball, is to be allowed, to mark his way to the Hole with his Club, or anything else.

(No breathing?)

10. If a Ball be stopp'd by any Person, Horse, Dog or anything else, (those pesky pigs) The Ball so stop'd must be play'd where it lyes.

( a horse on the course)
(The good ole days)

11. If you draw your Club in Order to Strike, & proceed so far in the Stroke as to be e Accounted a Stroke.

(?)

12. He whose Ball lyes farthest from the Hole is obliged to play first.

(spelled lies wrong)

13. Neither Trench, Ditch or Dyke, made for the preservation of the Links, nor the Scholar's Holes, or the Soldier's Lines, Shall be accounted a Hazard; But the Ball is to be taken out teed /and play'd with any Iron Club.

(only smart people play the scholar’s holes)
 

theefaith

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2020
20,070
1,354
113
63
Dallas
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
If your raptured while playing golf, is there still a two strike penalty?
 

Jay Ross

Well-Known Member
Jun 20, 2011
6,760
2,523
113
QLD
Faith
Christian
Country
Australia
If your raptured while playing golf, is there still a two strike penalty?

Only if you are raptured just as you strike the ball with the club, then another two strokes are added to your score, but if the person is raptured, the penalty is pointless, until he/she returns to continue the game.
 

theefaith

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2020
20,070
1,354
113
63
Dallas
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I would hunt For my own food, but I don’t know where hunters go to find taco’s!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mayflower

theefaith

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2020
20,070
1,354
113
63
Dallas
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
my wife says I procrastinate too much, but I’ll deal with it tomorrow!

I used to think I was indecisive,
Now I’m not so sure!
 

tsr

Well-Known Member
Feb 2, 2021
255
337
63
76
04/20/47
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
An atheist scientist came to God and said, "We've figured out how to make a man without you." God said, "OK, let me see you do it." So the atheist bent down to the ground and scooped up a handful. But God stopped him and said, "Oh, no you don't. Get your own dirt!"

How to Get Into Heaven
A man dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter says to the man, "Here's how it works. You need to have one hundred points to get into heaven. You tell me about all the good things you've done. They are all worth a certain number of points. If your total is one hundred or more, you can come in."

"Well," says the man. "I was happily married to the same woman for 52 years. I never looked at another woman. I was attentive and loved her dearly."

"That's great," says St. Peter. "That'll be two points."

"Hmmm," says the man. "This is going to be harder than I thought. Well, I attended church regularly, volunteered my time and tithed faithfully."

"Wonderful," says St. Peter, "That's worth another point."

"One point!" says the man. "Okay, okay. I was involved with a prison ministry for twenty-five years. I went into the prison, at least monthly, and shared Jesus with them."

"Wow!" says St. Peter. "That's another two points!"

"Only two points!" says the man. "At this rate, it'll be only by the grace of God that'll I'll ever get into this place."

"Bingo!" says St. Peter. "That's one hundred points! Come on in."
 

theefaith

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2020
20,070
1,354
113
63
Dallas
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Toilet stolen from the police station!
No motive! No suspects!
The cops have nothing to go on!

really you like something I said
It really not mine but YouTube

I like the one in the psychs convention cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!
 

theefaith

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2020
20,070
1,354
113
63
Dallas
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Why does the sulfur love the stick?
Cos it’s a match!

why does the diode kiss the capacitor?
Cos he could not resistor!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lambano

FHII

Well-Known Member
Apr 9, 2011
4,833
2,494
113
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Pretty good stuff! I've told this one before, but here it goes again:

A minister decides he wants a Sunday off to play golf. He calls the assistant Pastor to fill in for him because he is sick. Tells him to do his best and he'll be praying for him. He knows he has a dedicated congregation so he wont be caught....

He hits the links. He has the best 18 rounds of his life! Ends up one under par and even had a hole in one and a double eagle on a par 5 thanks to a scorching 300 yard tee off and a great second shot.

Michael and God are watching from Heaven. Michael says, " Lord, how can you allow this to happen? He skipped Church and lied about it! His whole congregation thought he was home sick!"

God chuckles and says, "Who's he going to brag about it to?"
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lambano

theefaith

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2020
20,070
1,354
113
63
Dallas
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Pretty good stuff! I've told this one before, but here it goes again:

A minister decides he wants a Sunday off to play golf. He calls the assistant Pastor to fill in for him because he is sick. Tells him to do his best and he'll be praying for him. He knows he has a dedicated congregation so he wont be caught....

He hits the links. He has the best 18 rounds of his life! Ends up one under par and even had a hole in one and a double eagle on a par 5 thanks to a scorching 300 yard tee off and a great second shot.

Michael and God are watching from Heaven. Michael says, " Lord, how can you allow this to happen? He skipped Church and lied about it! His whole congregation thought he was home sick!"

God chuckles and says, "Who's he going to brag about it to?"

good one

a man had a farm and was working in the fields when his neighbor came by and said that’s a great farm you and the Lord got there, he said, you should have seen when the Lord had it by Himself!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Heart2Soul and FHII

theefaith

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2020
20,070
1,354
113
63
Dallas
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Two men were painting the outside of a church and were running low on paint and decided to thin it down thinking no one would notice, then kept on painting and lo they heard the voice of the Lord saying repaint and thin no more!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lambano

theefaith

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2020
20,070
1,354
113
63
Dallas
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I know where to find gold, silver, diamonds and precious stones, so do I in the dictionary and that’s an old gag!

The police station is next door to the public library, I don’t recall which one I went to, but I recall they booked me at the time!