Is it possible to 'hate the sin and love the sinner' without being a self righteous jerk?

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aspen

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Seriously. Is it really our job to critique everyone around us?


I think we should be thankful for our ability to see sin in our neighbors - it teaches us to root out the behavior in ourselves. Without this grace, it would be a lot harder to see it in ourselves. Also, we learn how to love unconditionally - in spite of the sin we see.
 

sjmopas

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For the last 10 years of my life, I have been purposful in looking for the good that God is doing in someone's life, and to affirm it. I think our auto pilot setting, as humans, is criticism and skepticism. One version of 1 Corinthians 13 says, "love hopes all things". If we've been filled with the Spirit and love of Christ we should be an affirming people. Not that we gloss over sin, but that we remember to have compassion, patience, and understanding towards others. If God causes the Son to shine on the righteous and the wicked, how much more does He want the kindness of His love to be expressed through His children?

I have heard counceling professionals say that for every negative comment spoken to a person there needs to be at least ten positive comments made as well, in order to affirm them that they can change for the better.

If we have nothing to speak that would build someone up, we shouldn't cut them down either.
 

aspen

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Wow! I love your comments - thanks you for sharing them. I totally agree with you.

In fact, my favorite part is your observation that humans tend towards the negative - I think that is why Jesus talked so much about faith - faith is suspending our opinion (usually negative) long enough to learn something new or love another or receive love.
 
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Born_Again

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Yes and yes! I find myself wanting to place judgment. But, like you have both stated, we know that is human nature. I think we often assume people are what we see. We don't know their struggles. Sin is a terrible thing that consumes us. All people are given the same free will and it is up to us to decided how we want live. As followers of Christ, we know to hate sin and love people. Have we ever considered that if we show the sinner love, you might actually change them to reconsider how they are living? Folks, the power of true love is awesome. It even makes it difficult for the sinner to hurt you. They may want to understand why that is.

A perfect opportunity to share the Love of Christ. A lot of Christians fall into that trap of being self righteous and pass judgment instead of passing love. Then do they truly know the love of Christ? Perfect love does not allow the opportunity to pass judgment.
 

lforrest

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I have no objection with the OP, and think sjmopas also makes very good points. I appreciate all your posts.

I still believe there is a place for judgement, not the lording it over kind of judgement, but the discernment kind. The Church is tasked with helping people to become better disciples, part of that is pointing out sin when you see it. It can be very easy to reason away our own culpability, and when that happens I would rather be admonished than continue in ignorance. It is better to as prepared as we can be for the Lord's coming.

I see no point at all in judging someone outside of the Church, as they can't know true redemption without Jesus Christ. In fact I would rather someone continue to be a sinner than to join one of the false religions where they think self righteousness makes them right with God.

We should also use restraint, because the eternal soul of the sinner is the primary intent of all godly discipline. The sin can be repented of, or the means of sinning removed. Ultimately we must all work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.
 
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Wormwood

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I don't understand the relationship between the title and the OP. It seems that this is what you are proposing....recognize sin for what it is and root it out of your own life without hating sinful people around you. This seems to be the very definition of hating sin and loving sinful people. I don't know how this could be construed as being a self-righteous jerk. Am I missing something?
 

sjmopas

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Wormwood,

I don't want to speak for Aspen. I may have missunderstood him myself.

I thought he was referring to the way we as Christians can come across as self-rightous when we see the sin in another person's life and try to tell them what they need to do to fix themselves, as if we have it all together and are perfect.

Aspen?
 

aspen

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Wormwood,

I think we are often perceived as self righteous jerks by the world. I expect to be rejected by the world because I choose to love my neighbor - that is a given. What surprises me is being hated because of the rude behavior or self righteousness of vocal Christians who mix conspiracy theory with theology or white male privilege with Christianity. Christians are giving Christianity a bad name.

We are called to witness Christ by asking Him to remove our sin; love God; love our neighbor; forgive - we are warned against judging others. Yet, the only place I see this consistently acted out in amongst the Amish.

In my opinion, we are called to love others, speak humbly, and practice our sanctification. Pointing out sins in others is futile. People change behavior when they see us change our behavior and thrive because of those changes.
 
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Wormwood

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I agree that some Christians can be self-righteous jerks. No arguing there. However, I would not label such a person as one who "hates the sin but loves the sinner." It seems they hate both, and often ignore the sin in their own lives. However, I also would say that the church regularly gets a bad rap. I think TV often portrays Christians in a unfair light. Rather than highlighting mainstream Christians, radical nut-jobs like the Westboro Baptists get on TV as if they somehow represent what most Christians think about homosexuals. Moreover, I think the media also often portrays a refusal to accept a behavior (such as homosexuality) as bigotry. I think this is highly unfair. This has become a challenging issue today because any objection to culture trying to push a behavior on the public as acceptable and appropriate is portrayed in a highly negative light. It is right, in my opinion, to reject such a push by the culture. However, this does not mean that we treat individual homosexuals with scorn or cannot love them as any other person who needs the Lord.
 
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KingJ

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aspen said:
Seriously. Is it really our job to critique everyone around us?


I think we should be thankful for our ability to see sin in our neighbors - it teaches us to root out the behavior in ourselves. Without this grace, it would be a lot harder to see it in ourselves. Also, we learn how to love unconditionally - in spite of the sin we see.
God loves everyone. Even the greatest sinner. Christians follow God.

We can hate sin and love the sinner without being self righteous. But as always judging and condemning are being fused together. Those that do that are mostly sinners wanting others (especially good Christians) to approve of / excuse their sin.
 

Born_Again

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Let my life be the Proof of Your Love.


1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 

JimParker

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Is it possible to 'hate the sin and love the sinner' without being a self righteous jerk?

Do you mean like Jesus?

Isn't that who we're supposed to be like?

God hates sin yet sent the Word made flesh to die for sinners and rise from death so that sinners and all His enemies could have eternal life.

Imitate God.

Practice.

Keep practicing until you get good at it. (But don't quit practicing.)
 
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JimParker

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KingJ said:
Those who continue in mortal sins call us self righteous jerks. It is inevitable. They hate correction and tough love.
But God never quits loving them.

EVen though they act like self-righteous jerks. :)
 

ATP

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Matt 6:7 NIV And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.
 

LightMessenger

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Wormwood said:
I agree that some Christians can be self-righteous jerks. No arguing there. However, I would not label such a person as one who "hates the sin but loves the sinner." It seems they hate both, and often ignore the sin in their own lives. However, I also would say that the church regularly gets a bad rap. I think TV often portrays Christians in a unfair light. Rather than highlighting mainstream Christians, radical nut-jobs like the Westboro Baptists get on TV as if they somehow represent what most Christians think about homosexuals. Moreover, I think the media also often portrays a refusal to accept a behavior (such as homosexuality) as bigotry. I think this is highly unfair. This has become a challenging issue today because any objection to culture trying to push a behavior on the public as acceptable and appropriate is portrayed in a highly negative light. It is right, in my opinion, to reject such a push by the culture. However, this does not mean that we treat individual homosexuals with scorn or cannot love them as any other person who needs the Lord.
Loving and also hating your fellow man in the same breath is impossible as that practice is not Scriptural. There cannot be darkness (hate) where there is Light (Love.) Here's a great example speaking about homosexuals that everyone should read for a better understanding. Truer words were never spoken. Thanks to Whosoever.org for this fine article.

Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin
by Cindy Davis

http://whosoever.org/v6i6/cindy.html
 

Wormwood

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I could tell the person who criticizes me that I hate the way they are acting but I really love them. Do I? No, because love never notices when others do it wrong.
I have to say that this is one of the worst articles I have read in quite sometime. So, by this rationale, I should never punish or correct my children because I "love them" and I should certainly never notice if they misbehave! Has this person ever read the Bible? Have they not read how just about all of the NT Epistles were written in correction toward Christians that were doing things wrong? Um, you can love someone and correct them and notice when they are acting inappropriately. In fact, James tells us that if we really love someone, we will challenge them and call them to repent of their sins.

I want to be like Jesus, who was constantly being attacked by those of the "church" who did not believe he was the Son of God.
Um, the "church" didn't exist when Jesus was walking around. The "church" consists of those who believe Jesus is the Son of God and have received the Holy Spirit and cleansed of their sins by the blood of Christ. Thus, those who rejected Jesus cannot be considered the "church" of Jesus' day. This is a terrible misrepresentation. Comparing the Pharisees and Scribes to church leaders is misguided. Moreover, just being "attacked" by someone does not make you like Jesus. If someone in the church rebukes you for your sin, it could be God's way of calling you to repent and not you being persecuted like Jesus. Jesus told his disciples to confront people who were in sin and if they would not listen to them or the church, to disassociate with them. If we are going to call Jesus "Lord" then we need to listen to all his words and not just cherry pick the ones that fit our agenda.

Jesus walked the earth to show us what God really is. He is light and there is no room for darkness in him. He is love and there is no room for hatred in him.
Um, the first part is right. However, the author here takes that statement in 1 John out of context. John is using this to say the opposite of what the author is saying. John is talking about how Christians should not walk in continual sin and if they do, they are in darkness and lie when they say "I know him." The second statement is not in the Bible. Rather, over 500 times in the OT we read of God expressing wrath or hatred toward people's sin. Show me the verse that says there is no "hatred" in him. God says, "I hate divorce." God says, "Do not plot evil against your neighbor, and do not swear falsely. I hate this." God says, "Because of their wickedness in Gilgal, I hated them there." God says he hates the worship of false gods. God says, "I hate robbery and injustice." The verses that describe what God hates and what brings his wrath are legion.

Paul said he wasn't able to judge himself much less others. If we could all have that attitude, it would be easier for us to hear God when he speaks to us.
Excuse me?

“For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing.” (1 Corinthians 5:3, ESV)

The author is just flat out lying here...or they don't know what they are talking about. I think this person would hear God more easily if they actually read the Bible rather than making broad assertions that reflect a clear ignorance of the writings of Paul. Paul said he wouldn't judge people outside the church. He did say we should judge people who claim to be Christians and walk in open, unashamed sin. cf. 1 Cor. 5

Clearly this person has cherry picked a few verses to make God and Jesus in their own image as this article is filled with misapplied verses and blatant errors that could easily be detected from anyone who has read through the Bible even once.
 
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FHII

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Haven't read the article, but I agree with what you said, wormwood.