Is there a limit to compassion?

[cedarhart]

Jesus never slammed a door or burned a bridge. He said, "Just knock on the door and I'll open it." He meant at any time, at any place. He would be there. No matter how long someone had been gone, or no matter what he or she had said on the way out. He promised to be there. He knew that doors once shut could be opened. How can we relate to that kind of understanding and acceptance? We are fallible beings with weaknesses and impatience. At what point does one tell another "No" or "No more"? How far does compassion go before one says, "I have no more to give"? Or does one ever really reach that point? When is it time to turn your back on someone who has betrayed you, or should you? According to faiths/beliefs, is it ever justifiable to tell someone they have been "cut off"?Compassion does have limits and conditions. I have always thought that love was unconditional and still do. What I have learned over the years, is that, the word "if" is vital for self-preservation. It's OK to implement the protection mode of life. Otherwise, even the transgressor will not respect you because you place a compromised value on yourself.I think the "if" factor involves, not limiting the love for another, but for loving; as in showing the act. If the one you love takes advantage of your showing that you love them, then you need to withdraw the act of loving on them; (love in the verb sense). God gives us permission to preserve ourselves.2 Timothy 3:1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. 4 He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings, 5 Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself.1 Timothy 6:5 Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself.What if the person is abusive without remorse? How do we forgive someone who doesn't care to be forgiven? I think maybe one can resolve in their own heart to feel that they have done their best to bond and do right by another person. If that person does not respect our efforts, there has to be a point where one says, "No more". The door can always be re-opened but the person must be receptive to compromise and remorse for their behavior or their effort is not sincere. Christians are easy saps when it comes to love and most people know this. But I have been molded by God to realize that we are not doormats. Matthew 10:14 And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words,when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. Revelation 3:15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. 16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. It always seemed so interesting to me that this was never taught anywhere that I went to study. While maturing as a Christian, I was taught this message and it stuck with me. Christ was not wimpy. He chased the moneychangers out of the Temple with a whip. He was expressing righteous anger in the form of “tough love”. This is an example for us. Christians are not beyond being allowed to express righteous anger, especially when it comes to the Word of God and our faith. Or......what good are we?We cannot always control how much or how long we love someone and care about their well being. But, we can choose to control how long we allow ourselves to express those feelings, outwardly. If we allow others to take advantage of our compassionate ways, there can come a time when it becomes detrimental to ourselves and others. Stay alert and use discernment to determine "How much is enough".Blessing to those with loving hearts,Cedarhart

 

[Carico]

(cedarhart;64544)
Jesus never slammed a door or burned a bridge. He said, "Just knock on the door and I'll open it." He meant at any time, at any place. He would be there. No matter how long someone had been gone, or no matter what he or she had said on the way out. He promised to be there. He knew that doors once shut could be opened. How can we relate to that kind of understanding and acceptance? We are fallible beings with weaknesses and impatience. At what point does one tell another "No" or "No more"? How far does compassion go before one says, "I have no more to give"? Or does one ever really reach that point? When is it time to turn your back on someone who has betrayed you, or should you? According to faiths/beliefs, is it ever justifiable to tell someone they have been "cut off"?Compassion does have limits and conditions. I have always thought that love was unconditional and still do. What I have learned over the years, is that, the word "if" is vital for self-preservation. It's OK to implement the protection mode of life. Otherwise, even the transgressor will not respect you because you place a compromised value on yourself.I think the "if" factor involves, not limiting the love for another, but for loving; as in showing the act. If the one you love takes advantage of your showing that you love them, then you need to withdraw the act of loving on them; (love in the verb sense). God gives us permission to preserve ourselves.2 Timothy 3:1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. 4 He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings, 5 Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself.1 Timothy 6:5 Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself.What if the person is abusive without remorse? How do we forgive someone who doesn't care to be forgiven? I think maybe one can resolve in their own heart to feel that they have done their best to bond and do right by another person. If that person does not respect our efforts, there has to be a point where one says, "No more". The door can always be re-opened but the person must be receptive to compromise and remorse for their behavior or their effort is not sincere. Christians are easy saps when it comes to love and most people know this. But I have been molded by God to realize that we are not doormats. Matthew 10:14 And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words,when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. Revelation 3:15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. 16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. It always seemed so interesting to me that this was never taught anywhere that I went to study. While maturing as a Christian, I was taught this message and it stuck with me. Christ was not wimpy. He chased the moneychangers out of the Temple with a whip. He was expressing righteous anger in the form of “tough love”. This is an example for us. Christians are not beyond being allowed to express righteous anger, especially when it comes to the Word of God and our faith. Or......what good are we?We cannot always control how much or how long we love someone and care about their well being. But, we can choose to control how long we allow ourselves to express those feelings, outwardly. If we allow others to take advantage of our compassionate ways, there can come a time when it becomes detrimental to ourselves and others. Stay alert and use discernment to determine "How much is enough".Blessing to those with loving hearts,Cedarhart
We can always forgive people in our hearts. But we use discernment in regard to our relationships. For example, I forgive Osama Bin laden but it wouldn't be wise to cultivate a relationship with him. Sometimes love is giving nothing to someone who takes advantage of us.

 

[cedarhart]

Tough love? Yes. IMHO:True forgiveness cannot be given unless the person wants it which requires remorse. Otherwise, there's nothing to forgive if they feel that they have done nothing wrong. Remorse involves asking for forgiveness to the one affended. One can settle in their own mind how they are going to contend with whatever the person did and plan so that they are not allowed to repeat whatever it was.Forgiveness can be compared to evil deliverance. If the person does not want evil to leave, it won't. They need to be a willing participant.Also, it can be compared to Salvation. The person must want it and be involved as a willing participant in order to recieve it.So, to me, forgiveness, deliverance, and Salvation, are not imposed on anyone and must be solicited as showing that they are willing and desire this.Blessings, Cedarhart

 

[epistemaniac]

"Does scripture teach that under all circumstances we must always forgive? I answer emphatically, it does not. The word of God says, "If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee saying, 1 repeat, thou shalt forgive him" (Luke 17:3,4). Here we are plainly taught that a condition must be met by the offender before we may pronounce forgiveness. The one who has wronged us must first "repent", that is, judge himself for his wrong and give evidence of his sorrow over it. But suppose the offender does not repent? Then 1 am not to forgive him.But let there be no misunderstanding of our meaning here. Even though the one who has wronged me does not repent, nevertheless, I must not harbor ill-feelings against him. There must be no hatred or malice cherished in the heart. Yet, on the other hand, I must not treat the offender as if he had done no wrong. That would be to condone the offence, and therefore I should fail to uphold the requirements of righteousness, and this the believer is ever to do. Does God ever forgive where there is no repentance? No, for scripture declares, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). One thing more. If one has injured me and repented not, while I cannot forgive him and treat him as though he had not offended, nevertheless, not only must! hold no malice in my heart against him, but I must also pray for him. Here is the value of Christ’s perfect example. If we cannot forgive, we can pray for God to forgive him." (AW Pink, Seven Sayings of the Savior on the Cross)