I am autistic and I was going to make a comment on the thread “Love” and then decided that it might be a subject of discussion in itself so here goes.
The church needs to hear this as if it fails to understand the mind of the autistic person, that person can be treated very badly and unlovingly.
The autistic person has difficulty loving in the accepted understanding of the word. The part of their brain that operates is this area does not function very well. That is just a fact of life so it is no use trying to make them fit your concept of love and how you expect them to respond. [SIZE=18.6666564941406px]What[/SIZE] they need more than [SIZE=18.6666564941406px]anything[/SIZE] is understanding.
The non-autistic person can say I love you even if they do not mean it and it is on a very superficial level. They can say it in a deep and meaningful way and feel so whenever they meet that person or are involved together in something. In other words they do not have to have a reason to love as their emotions can dictate their actions and words.
An autistic person cannot do this. For them, love has to have a reason. They cannot just say “I love you.” Love can only operate in terms of a specific reason and in most cases the love is not a feeling or an emotion. It is an action.
Some people have this idea that autistic people are aloof and uncaring but that is not the case. If they are not involved in a specific task, they are in neutral. They have no reason to love or not to love as the case may be. They will interact on an intellectual level but cannot go beyond that and one thing they have no patience for is small talk.
An autistic person may show their love for someone by cooking them a meal. No emotion or feeling is involved. Their expression of love is what they do. In response to this act of love all that is needed is “thankyou, that was most enjoyable” or “I liked that.” Or in other words, an acknowledgement of what they have done. If you don’t hug them, kiss them or get all gushy, they are not offended.
When an autistic person commits to something, they commit. There are no half measures. A lot of Christians don’t like that because they don’t want give the commitment that the autistic person gives and as their commitment equals love, they [SIZE=18.6666564941406px]don't[/SIZE] understand why others [SIZE=18.6666564941406px]don't[/SIZE] feel the same. it means nothing to the autistic person saying you [SIZE=18.6666564941406px]love[/SIZE] them. it has to be expressed in what you do.
I think that will do to set the ball rolling and invite others to add to it.
The church needs to hear this as if it fails to understand the mind of the autistic person, that person can be treated very badly and unlovingly.
The autistic person has difficulty loving in the accepted understanding of the word. The part of their brain that operates is this area does not function very well. That is just a fact of life so it is no use trying to make them fit your concept of love and how you expect them to respond. [SIZE=18.6666564941406px]What[/SIZE] they need more than [SIZE=18.6666564941406px]anything[/SIZE] is understanding.
The non-autistic person can say I love you even if they do not mean it and it is on a very superficial level. They can say it in a deep and meaningful way and feel so whenever they meet that person or are involved together in something. In other words they do not have to have a reason to love as their emotions can dictate their actions and words.
An autistic person cannot do this. For them, love has to have a reason. They cannot just say “I love you.” Love can only operate in terms of a specific reason and in most cases the love is not a feeling or an emotion. It is an action.
Some people have this idea that autistic people are aloof and uncaring but that is not the case. If they are not involved in a specific task, they are in neutral. They have no reason to love or not to love as the case may be. They will interact on an intellectual level but cannot go beyond that and one thing they have no patience for is small talk.
An autistic person may show their love for someone by cooking them a meal. No emotion or feeling is involved. Their expression of love is what they do. In response to this act of love all that is needed is “thankyou, that was most enjoyable” or “I liked that.” Or in other words, an acknowledgement of what they have done. If you don’t hug them, kiss them or get all gushy, they are not offended.
When an autistic person commits to something, they commit. There are no half measures. A lot of Christians don’t like that because they don’t want give the commitment that the autistic person gives and as their commitment equals love, they [SIZE=18.6666564941406px]don't[/SIZE] understand why others [SIZE=18.6666564941406px]don't[/SIZE] feel the same. it means nothing to the autistic person saying you [SIZE=18.6666564941406px]love[/SIZE] them. it has to be expressed in what you do.
I think that will do to set the ball rolling and invite others to add to it.
