New To Christ, but not to Christianity

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Blue Lanai

New Member
Jul 29, 2013
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Hey family...

I became a Christian less than two months ago, a change that I have found humbling, gratifying, amusing on some level (read on), and something I approach with both eagerness and trepidation.

I originally became a Christian at the age of 12 in a Methodist church. However, I had a series of extremely negative experiences with Christianity for many years (abusive, racist youth leader; hostile, self-righteous Pastor - who later went to jail for embezzling from his church; and several other negative occurances). I left Christianity at age 18.

I was an Agnostic for three years, then became an Atheist for over 12 years. When I was an Atheist, I spend much time in Apologetics debate with Christians of every flavor. Most were, admitedly, very ignorant of their faith and operated on the basis of logical fallacy for the most part. I learned that, if one wanted to debate Christians, one must understand Christianity comprehensively. Thus, I have done years of study on Christian history, eschatology, scriptural context, theology, and much more. So I'm not just some person fresh off the boat. ;)

As I said, most of the Christians I encountered, particularly in Apologetics and sociological debate, were ignorant of the Bible and clung to faith more as a social identification rather than an actual belief. Yet, I did meet a few who really tried hard to embrace me as a person as Christ taught, rather than as an advesary.

I will never forget a user from a forum I was on in 2004. I destroyed her arguments again and again, but she was always nice to me, always kind, and had unshakable faith. I asked her why she was so nice to me and she said, "You're my brother and I love you." It was this one act of humble kindness that opened the door for me to see a bigger picture of Chrisitanity. I came to realize that not every Christian was a wild-eyed reactionary intent on returning the world to the Dark Ages. :p

It is said that Atheists often have incredible conversion experiences and that was certainly true in my case. Without going into the specifics, let me say that I was faced with a problem that I could not solve and in despair, I cried out to God in one of the first acts of humility that I had ever undertaken.

God answered swiftly.

Suddenly, I felt the presence of God for the first time in my life. I felt God physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually in a way that I have trouble describing. God also made me aware that He had always been there and was only waiting for me to surrender to Him; to admit to myself that I needed God. All of this in flash of insight and wisdom that probably only lasted a second and seemed to last for days.

When I was an Atheist, I often asked Theists: "Yeah, but how do you know..?" The unsatisying answer that I always got was "You'll just know", so I find it amusing now when Atheists ask me the same question and I tell them the same thing. God is not without a sense of humor. :D

I have good friends of many faiths: Tibetan Buddhist, Wicca, Hinduism, Roman Catholic, LDS, Judaism, and many types of Christianity: Nazarene, Anglican, Southern Baptist, Lutheran, Vineyard,
and others. Over the years, I have discussed theology, ontology, and cosmology with many of them and have found wisdom and the hand of God working in their lives.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I had long been a Christian Atheist (not an oxymoron; look it up). The teachings of Christ always had impressed me even over a decade ago - and they still do. After much introspection, internal debate, and prayery I was somewhat aghast to find that God was calling me to Christianity and I recently got down on my knees in my home and asked Christ to be my savior.

I believe strongly in agape love and that we are all brothers and sisters; we are all the children of God. I will not be swayed on this matter. I believe strongly in the concept of preinial faith that John Wesley spoke of. I believe that God loves all humans including those of different faiths than Christianity and works in their lives whether they know it or not. I believe Christ is mechanism by which all altruism in the world is perpetuated, even by those who are Hindu or Taoist or LDS.

I know many people have (and will) disagree with me on that. :p

Before I came here, I made the mistake of joining a rather conservative Evangelistic forum and was accused of being everything from a Jew to Atheist to a Mormon to a Catholic, and also the ever-popular "Apostate!" So I'm no stranger to being yelled at and insulted by other Christians. I expect that there will be many here who will also insult and condemn me. And when this happens, I will do my best to follow as Christ taught in one of my favorite verses:

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. -- Matthew 5:43-48

I am not perfect nor will I ever be perfect, but I do do my best to emulate Christ in all my dealings. Sometimes I succeed; sometimes I fail miserably. But I'm working on it.

If you made it this far, thanks for your time. I look forward to getting spit on and hope that I can show as much humility as that user back in 2004 had for me: "You're my brother, and I love you."

See ya in threads. :)
 

Blue Lanai

New Member
Jul 29, 2013
35
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0
Pelaides said:
Put your faith in God,not in man.people make mistakes.
That's what I do, my friend. I also realize that we are all imperfect humans in an imperfect world and we do the best we can with what we have. ;)
 

Angelina

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Blue Lanai!
Welcome to CyB! What an extraordinary testimony of God's love and mercy working in your life over the years
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It's so nice to have you join us! I will be looking forward to seeing you around the board

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Bless ya!
 

horsecamp

New Member
Feb 1, 2008
765
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the Methodist church Is very well known for bringing Christian truth to people who never knew about Jesus.

IN FACT their preachers were very well known as circuit riders out west. some times riding for a week just to visit a Christian family and share the word of God from their bibles..

sorry you had such a lousy experience. God gave us parents also to guard against spiritual tyranny where were they?
 

Blue Lanai

New Member
Jul 29, 2013
35
2
0
@horsecamp:

H: "sorry you had such a lousy experience."

Thank you. Though, now, I believe that my crappy experience was a blessing because it allowed me to see another side of reality that I would not have seen otherwise. As it stands now, I have a great deal of compassion for those who do not believe and I realize they struggle with faith and meaning as much as any Christian ever has, if not more so. None but the hopeless know what it is truly like to exist without hope; it is a very dark and lonely place. Having lived in that dark, empty world for so long, I have some small insight in how to speak to those people and witness to them. I thank God for that.

There is a song that says:

"Thank you for all the doubt and for all the questioning.
For all the lonliness and for all the suffering.
For all the emptiness and the scars it left inside;
It inspired in me an impetus to fight.
For the conviction, for the purpose down the road;
For the strength and courage, that, in me, I've never known.
And it seems that I'm obliged to say these words,
I write this in gratitude -- the least that you deserve."


H: "God gave us parents also to guard against spiritual tyranny where were they?"

They were in no place to guide me; they had their own demons, so to speak.
 

the stranger

New Member
Mar 12, 2011
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Grand Rapids, MI
That was a really good read. I love hearing the stories how people have come to Christ, knowing He is always there, even before we ever know it. PS Angelina makes me struggle with envy. There is no welcome post I could ever do to even start to compete with hers, so I just gotta let God work with me on that one. LOL :)