Phileo Love vs Agapao Love

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Webers_Home

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A common Greek word for "love" in the New Testament is agape (ag-ah'
pay) for example 1John 4:8 and 1John 4:16 where it's said that God is love.

Agape has become a sort of sacred cow among Christians; and they typically
quote the entire spectrum of it from 1Cor 13:1-7.

But the entire spectrum of love tells us nothing of its particular nuances. In
order to discern the colors of agape we have to seek out passages where
love is a verb.

The two primary colors of agape are agapao (ag-ap-ah'-o) and phileo (fil
eh'-o). A Strong's Concordance shows every verse in the New Testament
where those verbs are used; which is very handy for helping us to
understand the spectrum of love. However; the thing to note is that those
two verbs are not interchangeable.

For example the colors red and blue, combined with other colors, make up
the spectrum of sunlight. But if we want a red house, we have to use red
paint. If we use blue paint, our house won't come out red because red and
blue are not interchangeable.

In like manner, agapao and phileo together make up the spectrum of love,
but they are not interchangeable-- phileo typically speaks of affection,
whereas agapao usually does not; if ever. For example:

John 21:15 . . So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon
Peter: Simon; do you love me more than these?


» Some say that "these" refers to the other apostles, but I'm inclined to suspect that Jesus
was referring to the sea, and the fish they had just eaten, and to the boat, and to the
tackle, and to the fishing business. Certainly all of that was important to Peter seeing as
how fishing was his life.


The Greek verb for "love" in that passage is agapao, which isn't necessarily
an affectionate kind of love, rather, it's related to things like preferences,
loyalties, and priorities. For example:

Matt 6:24 . . No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one
and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.

Luke 14:26 . . If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and
mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters-- yes, even his own
life --he cannot be my disciple.

The verb agapao is employed several times in the 13th, 14th, and 15th
chapters of John's gospel relative to Jesus and his apostles, and relative to
the apostles among themselves.

But then Jesus asked Peter:

John 21:17 . . Simon, do you love me?

That time "love" is translated from the Greek verb phileo which is a very
different kind of love than agapao.

Well, the thing is: agapao is more or less impersonal; whereas phileo is just
the opposite. It's an affectionate, bonding kind of love felt among best
friends, lovers, and kinfolk.

In other words: Peter wasn't asked what he thought of Jesus, rather, how he
felt about him, viz: Jesus' question was: Peter; do you like me?

Of course Jesus already knew how Peter felt about him, but Jesus wasn't
satisfied with knowing; he wanted Peter to come out with it, and he did.

John 21:17 . . He said: Lord, you know all things; you know that I love
you.


» I'd imagine that expressing his feelings for Jesus was difficult for a rugged blue collar guy
like Peter. I worked as a professional welder for 40 years in shipyards and shops. Not many
of the men I worked alongside were comfortable talking about their feelings for each
other.

_
 
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Webers_Home

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FAQ: Why does Titus 2:4-5 expect phileo love from wives while Eph 5:25-33
expects agapao love from husbands?


A: Phileo is typically related to one's affections, whereas agapao is typically
related to one's actions.

For example in the Ephesians passage, a husband's love for his wife is
expressed by taking her under his wing, viz: by providence, i.e. by
protecting and providing for her.

The love expected from a wife is quite a bit different. Hers is more about
feelings than providence. For example:

"Your desire shall be for your husband" (Gen 3:16)

That passage appears to me the very first prohibition against adultery. If so;
then phileo's use in Titus 2:4-5 is telling wives to be faithful and chaste, viz:
not to share their affections with other men; which has the benefit of
ensuring that all her children will be the offspring of the man she's married
to.
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Webers_Home

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John 3:16 . . For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten
son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.

The Greek word translated "loved" in John 3:16 is conjugated from the verb
agapao, which tells me that God's love in that passage isn't especially divine
because the very same Greek verb is used in Luke 6:32, which says:

"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners
love those who love them."

Every "love" in that verse is derived from agapao. Well; the very fact that
sinners are capable of agapao tells me that it would be a mistake to restrict
its use solely to God and/or to assume that agapao always, and in every
instance, speaks of divine attributes.
_
 

Webers_Home

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When love lacks modifiers and/or verbs, it means very little in particular. For
example: my love for a man with a cardboard sign alongside the road is
different than my love for the girl I married. My love for the man is
sympathy for a stranger, whereas the love I have for my wife of forty-one
years is affection for someone special.

Those two differences are exemplified by John 3:16 and John 16:27 where
it's on display that God's love for the world is agapao, which is merely
sympathetic, whereas His love for Jesus' followers is expressed by phileo,
which speaks of fondness and affection-- two emotions that form strong
bonds and attachments.
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Webers_Home

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There are times when Heaven's love is conditional; for example:

"If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love; just as I have
kept my Father's commandments, and abide in His love." (John 15:10)

The Greek noun translated "love" in that passage is agape, which is a
nondescript noun. In other words; agape alone doesn't tell me whether the
love in view is affectionate or non affectionate, i.e. phileo or agapao. For
example John 3:16 which says:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that
whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

The love in that passage is conjugated from the Greek verb agapao, which
informs me that God experiences pity for the world without necessarily liking
the world. This is somewhat similar to the sympathy that many of us
experience for a desperate stranger with a cardboard sign that says "Lost
job due to Covid 19"

And then there's this:

"Then Jesus, beholding him, loved him" (Mark 10:21)

The Greek word translated "love" in that passage is conjugated from phileo,
which basically speaks of affection, fondness, acceptance, and bonding. (cf.
1Sam 18:1)

Here's an hypothetical situation that breaks John 3:16 down to something
practical.

Evangelist: Did you know that the Bible says God loves you?

Audience: God likes me?

Evangelist: Sorry, my bad. I should've been specific. I was asking if you
were aware that God pities you.

Audience: Pities me?! What's to pity?

Evangelist: You are on the road to a future that's so disagreeable Jesus said
you'd be better off dismembering a hand or gouging out an eye than to end
up there.


» God pities the world's deplorable spiritual condition and offers a remedy for it (Luke 2:8-14)
but that shouldn't be construed to mean that He likes the world. In point of fact, God regrets its
creation. (Gen 6:6)

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