Can Anyone Help Me Calm These Doubts?!
I know this is quite a long post, but I really want to thank you for taking a moment to hear my cry. I am a little ashamed to admit these doubts I'm experiencing, but I just can't seem to shake them, and I'm scared to discuss them with my parents or my pastor yet. I really need to get this off my chest, and I earnestly hope that someone can provide some insight.
Huge thanks again.
Here goes nothing...
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First of all, my name is Taylor, and I'm a college student from a small town in Tennessee. I am 20 years old, have been a believer all my life, and have even completed a minor course of study in religion. However, I have recently encountered a snare that has caused me to doubt the very truth of the Gospel.
The problem is that it has occurred to me that the sole reason I believe in God in the first place is that my parents believe in Christ and have taught me their beliefs, presenting them (and naturally so) as absolute truth. Had I been born into a Muslim family, I would surely have been taught their views and observe their religious customs as devoutly as they do.
It disturbed me to realize that I believed in my religion for precisely the same reasons many followers of other religious traditions believed in their own. I had "known" Christianity to be correct practically from birth in the same way others "knew" my belief system to be a lie. Shaken and feeling a little simple-minded, I decided that I needed to evaluate my beliefs and attempt to take personal ownership of my faith.
I don't want to be a Christian by happenstance; I want to be a Christianity because Christianity the correct world view. I crave to know beyond doubt that Christianity is the only absolute truth. I desperately desire the kind of confidence and conviction that casts away fear and concern for oneself in pursuit of the things of God's Kingdom, but I find it difficult to have faith in what I do not "know" objectively.
I am a rational and analytical thinker, and it is incredibly frustrating to me that it seems virtually impossible to "prove" God logically, scientifically, or philosophically.
You would think that merely looking back on my short lifetime of studying, believing in, speaking to, God would yield enough evidence to renew my hope, but I can't seem to recall ever experiencing God in a distinct enough way to independently serve as evidence for the validity of Christianity.
For instance, over the years, I've felt fairly intense pangs of guilt when I've made mistakes, but some brand of moral values and their accompanying emotional consequences are inherently present within all cultures and traditions. In my days, I've attributed numerous advantageous coincidences to such things as God's provision and love, but coincidences--whether helpful or harmful--seem to happen to everyone. I even experienced certain "visions" once, but I have since discovered strikingly similar things to be a common side effect of a medication I was taking for respiratory issues.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that God couldn't have been in any or all of those things. It just seems infuriatingly easy to attribute these experiences to other more "earthly" causes, a fact that renders them incapable of satisfying my craving for assurance of the validity of my views. I'm confused about what to believe anymore and even why to believe it.
Essentially, I am forced to acknowledge that the depth of my understanding and personal experience is insufficient to serve as convincing evidence that Christianity is correct; Therefore, I am confronted with what seems to be the very real possibility that Everything I believe in is as a Christian is false.
Clearly, I'm currently experiencing a great deal of doubt, and I'm finding it extremely difficult to progress in my walk with the the Lord without some sort of reassurance. I feel like a heretic for asking myself these questions, but is it so wrong for me to desire some sort of confirmation that the very guiding principles of my life are legitimate?
Maybe I just suck at faith.
______________________________________________________________________________
Please Help!
Have you or has anyone you know ever struggled with similar doubts?
What gives you the strength to believe no matter what?
Is there some secret to culturing a consuming and relentless faith?
Incredibly grateful for prayers and advice,
sincerest thanks,
Taylor C.
I know this is quite a long post, but I really want to thank you for taking a moment to hear my cry. I am a little ashamed to admit these doubts I'm experiencing, but I just can't seem to shake them, and I'm scared to discuss them with my parents or my pastor yet. I really need to get this off my chest, and I earnestly hope that someone can provide some insight.
Huge thanks again.
Here goes nothing...
______________________________________________________________________________
First of all, my name is Taylor, and I'm a college student from a small town in Tennessee. I am 20 years old, have been a believer all my life, and have even completed a minor course of study in religion. However, I have recently encountered a snare that has caused me to doubt the very truth of the Gospel.
The problem is that it has occurred to me that the sole reason I believe in God in the first place is that my parents believe in Christ and have taught me their beliefs, presenting them (and naturally so) as absolute truth. Had I been born into a Muslim family, I would surely have been taught their views and observe their religious customs as devoutly as they do.
It disturbed me to realize that I believed in my religion for precisely the same reasons many followers of other religious traditions believed in their own. I had "known" Christianity to be correct practically from birth in the same way others "knew" my belief system to be a lie. Shaken and feeling a little simple-minded, I decided that I needed to evaluate my beliefs and attempt to take personal ownership of my faith.
I don't want to be a Christian by happenstance; I want to be a Christianity because Christianity the correct world view. I crave to know beyond doubt that Christianity is the only absolute truth. I desperately desire the kind of confidence and conviction that casts away fear and concern for oneself in pursuit of the things of God's Kingdom, but I find it difficult to have faith in what I do not "know" objectively.
I am a rational and analytical thinker, and it is incredibly frustrating to me that it seems virtually impossible to "prove" God logically, scientifically, or philosophically.
You would think that merely looking back on my short lifetime of studying, believing in, speaking to, God would yield enough evidence to renew my hope, but I can't seem to recall ever experiencing God in a distinct enough way to independently serve as evidence for the validity of Christianity.
For instance, over the years, I've felt fairly intense pangs of guilt when I've made mistakes, but some brand of moral values and their accompanying emotional consequences are inherently present within all cultures and traditions. In my days, I've attributed numerous advantageous coincidences to such things as God's provision and love, but coincidences--whether helpful or harmful--seem to happen to everyone. I even experienced certain "visions" once, but I have since discovered strikingly similar things to be a common side effect of a medication I was taking for respiratory issues.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that God couldn't have been in any or all of those things. It just seems infuriatingly easy to attribute these experiences to other more "earthly" causes, a fact that renders them incapable of satisfying my craving for assurance of the validity of my views. I'm confused about what to believe anymore and even why to believe it.
Essentially, I am forced to acknowledge that the depth of my understanding and personal experience is insufficient to serve as convincing evidence that Christianity is correct; Therefore, I am confronted with what seems to be the very real possibility that Everything I believe in is as a Christian is false.
Clearly, I'm currently experiencing a great deal of doubt, and I'm finding it extremely difficult to progress in my walk with the the Lord without some sort of reassurance. I feel like a heretic for asking myself these questions, but is it so wrong for me to desire some sort of confirmation that the very guiding principles of my life are legitimate?
Maybe I just suck at faith.
______________________________________________________________________________
Please Help!
Have you or has anyone you know ever struggled with similar doubts?
What gives you the strength to believe no matter what?
Is there some secret to culturing a consuming and relentless faith?
Incredibly grateful for prayers and advice,
sincerest thanks,
Taylor C.