If a spiritual leader in a Christian Church and a member of the laity have an issue and the lay person reaches out to the leader for reconciliation, and the leader refuses, is the lay person absolved of any responsibility to repair the relationship? In this case, the lay person followed proper procedures in addressing a concern with the spiritual leader and the spiritual leader was reprimanded, but not disciplined by the governing church body.
Reconciliation
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aspen
“"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few
What a sad scenario - too bad it happens sometimes. I think all you can do is ask for reconciliation - it is up to the other party (leader or not) to respond.
One of the cool skills that the ministry I work for teaches homeless youth is how to reconcile - it is a skill that is so valuable, but is not taught as often as it should be.
One of the cool skills that the ministry I work for teaches homeless youth is how to reconcile - it is a skill that is so valuable, but is not taught as often as it should be.
The lay person did reach out for reconciliation. The leader responded by accusing the lay person of making false accusations and saying that the two of them sitting down to talk would not correct what had been done and refusing to talk with the lay person.
There comes a time to walk away,some would have us believe that all relationships are for a life....not true...often hatred and resentments grow because people simply refuse to just walk away.
I feel the issue was not really settled but brushed under the carpet. Sometimes a person hurt another Christian deeply and feel that the wound inflicted disappeared overnight. In this case, the spiritual leader feels some issues were not addressed or properly addressed or he may just still be hurting. If he is laying on allegations of some sort and the lay person feels he is wrong to do so I advise the lay person to ask a more senior member to intervene and help sort out the problem.
I do not think there is particularly any procedures to follow to seek a reconciliation with another Christian. It depends on how far the person will go for the love of Christ. Let the Pastor help out or the governing council. If he does not listen to either of them ask God in prayers to change his heart and wait patiently. It is possible after a few weeks or months the leader stops hurting and the lay person may want to try reconciling again.
Couppy
There were over 12,000 Church Splits a year in the 1980's. I don't know how many there are today. You can read, "What To Do in the MIDST of a Church Split", to get those stats.
It is best to walk away quietly if you cannot resolve the issue Biblically. Many of these "Church Splits" happened because the person who thought they were RIGHT, pursued their own defense and caused the CHURCH SPLIT.
So, even if you are RIGHT, causing a CHURCH SPLIT is just a SATANIC as the Person that you believe really started the whole controversy.
Pick up your cross, be willing to be wronged and even slandered and made to look bad and just walk away. Don't cause more people to stumble. Walk in peace and stay true to the Lord. David walked away from SAUL when he could very well have gotten many in the kingdom to side with him and then he could have fought SAUL and maybe won. But, many would have been slain. David did the right thing to leave and go into the wilderness and not harm even a hair on Saul's head.
Jas 3:13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
Jas 3:14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.
Jas 3:15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.
Jas 3:16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
Jas 3:17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
Jas 3:18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
Jas 4:1 From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
Axehead
It is best to walk away quietly if you cannot resolve the issue Biblically. Many of these "Church Splits" happened because the person who thought they were RIGHT, pursued their own defense and caused the CHURCH SPLIT.
So, even if you are RIGHT, causing a CHURCH SPLIT is just a SATANIC as the Person that you believe really started the whole controversy.
Pick up your cross, be willing to be wronged and even slandered and made to look bad and just walk away. Don't cause more people to stumble. Walk in peace and stay true to the Lord. David walked away from SAUL when he could very well have gotten many in the kingdom to side with him and then he could have fought SAUL and maybe won. But, many would have been slain. David did the right thing to leave and go into the wilderness and not harm even a hair on Saul's head.
Jas 3:13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
Jas 3:14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.
Jas 3:15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.
Jas 3:16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
Jas 3:17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
Jas 3:18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
Jas 4:1 From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
Axehead
The issue has already been handled by the governing council, and that is the body to which the leader claims the lay person made false accusations. The lay person did not, and was offered the chance to file formal charges against the leader by the head of the governing body. The lay person refused, because their intent was not to do damage to the leader, but to have an issue addressed and resolved. The leader had refused to address the matter with the lay person (or any other lay person) and that is why the lay person took it to the governing body in the first place. It was a last resort after attempting to resolve the issue directly with the leader. The leader refused to work the matter out with anyone and only responded to being reprimanded by the governing body. The lay person and the leader have been in contact since the matter and things seemed to be okay, but a little tense. When the lay person reached out to the leader, the leader's response was pretty nasty.
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