STRANDED ON A DESERT ISLAND

[Ezra]

Joke of the Week

STRANDED ON A DESERT ISLAND

There was a man who was stranded on a desert island for many, many years. One day, while strolling along the beach, he spotted a ship in the distance. This had never happened in all the time he was on the island, so he was very excited about the chance of being rescued.

Immediately, he built a fire on the beach and generated as much smoke as possible. It worked! Soon, the ship was heading his way. When the ship was close enough to the island, a dinghy was dispatched to investigate the situation. The man on the island was overjoyed with the chance to be rescued and met his saviors as they landed.

After some preliminary conversation the man in charge asked the man on the island how he had survived for so many years.

The man replied by telling of his exploits for food and how he was able to make a fine house to live in. In fact, the man said, "You can see my home from here. It's up there on the ridge."

He pointed the men in the direction of his home. They looked up and saw three buildings. They inquired about the building next to the man's house and he replied, "That's my church - I go there to worship on Sundays."

When asked about the third building, the man replied, "That's where I used to go to church."

 

[Nancy]

Joke of the Week

STRANDED ON A DESERT ISLAND

There was a man who was stranded on a desert island for many, many years. One day, while strolling along the beach, he spotted a ship in the distance. This had never happened in all the time he was on the island, so he was very excited about the chance of being rescued.

Immediately, he built a fire on the beach and generated as much smoke as possible. It worked! Soon, the ship was heading his way. When the ship was close enough to the island, a dinghy was dispatched to investigate the situation. The man on the island was overjoyed with the chance to be rescued and met his saviors as they landed.

After some preliminary conversation the man in charge asked the man on the island how he had survived for so many years.

The man replied by telling of his exploits for food and how he was able to make a fine house to live in. In fact, the man said, "You can see my home from here. It's up there on the ridge."

He pointed the men in the direction of his home. They looked up and saw three buildings. They inquired about the building next to the man's house and he replied, "That's my church - I go there to worship on Sundays."

When asked about the third building, the man replied, "That's where I used to go to church."

Okay @Ezra
I have just read this a third time...I seem to almost grasp it but then, I am not so sure! My brain is kind of full lately so...splain for me please??

 

[Ezra]

he couldnt get along with himself

 

[Nancy]

he couldnt get along with himself

Yes, he was alone so he was the only one he disagreed with, lol! Thanks for explaining it.

 

[Ezra]

Yes, he was alone so he was the only one he disagreed with, lol! Thanks for explaining it.

A lady went to her Pastor and said “Pastor, I won't be going to your church anymore.” The Pastor responded “But why?” The lady said “Ah! I saw a woman gossipping about another member; a man that is a hypocrite; the worship team living wrong; people looking at their phone during service; among so many other things wrong in your church.”

The Pastor replied “OK. But before you go, do me a favor: take a full glass of water and walk around the church three times without spilling a drop on the ground. Afterwards, leave the church if you desire.” The lady thought: too easy! She walked three times around the church as the Pastor had asked. When she finished she told the Pastor she was ready to leave.

The Pastor said, “Before you leave I want to ask you one more question. When you were walking around the church, did you see anyone gossipping?” The lady replied “No.” “Did you see any hypocrites?" The lady said "No." "Anyone looking at their phone?” “No.” “You know why?” “No.”

“You were focused on the glass, to make sure you didn't stumble and spill any water. It's the same with our life. When we keep our eyes on Jesus, we don't have time to see the mistakes of others. We will reach out a helping hand to them and concentrate on our own walk with the Lord."

 

[Ezra]

Special Brownies
===========

A father of some teenage children had the family rule that they
could not attend PG-13 or R rated movies. His three teens
wanted to see a particular popular movie that was playing at
local theaters. It was rated PG-13.

The teens interviewed friends and even some members of their
family's church to find out what was offensive in the movie. The
teens made a list of pros and cons about the movie to use to
convince their dad that they should be allowed to see it.

The cons were that it contained ONLY 3 swear words, the ONLY
violence was a building exploding (and you see that on TV all
the time they said), and you actually did not "see" the couple
in the movie having sex - it was just implied sex, off camera.

The pros were that it was a popular movie - a block buster.

Everyone was seeing it. If the teens saw the movie then they
would not feel left out when their friends discussed it. The
movie contained a good story and plot. It had some great
adventure and suspense in it. There were some fantastic special
effects in this movie. The movie's stars were some of the most
talented actors in Hollywood. It probably would be nominated
for several awards. Many of the members of their Christian
church had even seen the movie and said it wasn't "very bad."

Therefore, since there were more pros than cons, the teens said
they were asking their father to reconsider his position on just
this ONE movie and let them have permission to go see it.

The father looked at the list and thought for a few minutes. He
said he could tell his children had spent some time and thought
on this request. He asked if he could have a day to think about
it before making his decision.

The teens were thrilled, thinking: "Now we've got him! Our
argument is too good! Dad can't turn us down!" So, they
happily agreed to let him have a day to think about their
request.

The next evening the father called in his three teenagers, who
were smiling smugly, into the living room. There on the coffee
table he had a plate of brownies. The teens were puzzled. The
father told his children he had thought about their request and
had decided that if they would eat a brownie then he would let
them go to the movie. But just like the movie, the brownies had
pros and cons.

The pros were that they were made with the finest chocolate and
other good ingredients. They had the added special effect of
yummy walnuts in them. The brownies were moist and fresh with
wonderful chocolate frosting on top. He had made these
fantastic brownies using an award-winning recipe. And best of
all, the brownies had been made lovingly by the hand of their
own father.

The brownies only had one con. He had included a little bit of a
special ingredient. The brownies also contained just a little
bit of dog poop. But he had mixed the dough well - they
probably would not even be able to taste the dog poop and he had
baked it at 350 degrees so any bacteria or germs from the dog
poop had probably been destroyed.

Therefore, if any of his children could stand to eat the
brownies which included just a "little bit of crap" and not be
affected by it, then he knew they would also be able to see the
movie with "just a little bit of smut" and not be affected.

Of course, none of the teens would eat the brownies and the smug
smiles had left their faces. Only Dad was smiling smugly as they
left the room. Now when his teenagers ask permission to do
something he is opposed to, the father just asks, "Would you
like me to whip up a batch of my special brownies?"