In battle, any soldier that is truly conscientious will suffer 'shell shock' from the insanity of war.
It is perfectly understandable why many people (soldiers INCLUDED) suffer the 'shellshock' of existence IN THIS WORLD (but it still doesn't justify suicide).
1 Corinthians 3:17
"If any one destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and that temple you are".
Psalm 145:20
"The LORD preserves all who love him".
.....God knew that we would sometimes need CERTAIN UNDERSTANDINGS.
You've noticed how UNWORTHY we human beings are (we are not "worthy" and "deserving" of DIVINE favor).
In DIVINE SPIRITUALITY, we can be nothing more than INVITED GUESTS in God's presence/house, but MAN'S "spirituality" is arrogant and claims that we have 'divine merit' and are DESERVING, but you have noticed that it is not true (that is why you are sad/depressed....you are POOR IN SPIRIT...REJOICE).
Matthew 5:3 "BLESSED are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the...."....(the present/inner kingdom).
Do you mean that you are not impressed by the ways of this world?....
"So I hated life, because what is done under the sun was grievous to me" (Ecclesiastes 2:17).
You are more fit for the LORD'S world, but that still doesn't justify becoming a murderer.
John 12:25...(I must say you are well suited for THE LORD'S place of rest,...DESTINED for ETERNITY).
"He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life".
....PATIENCE, The Lord will be teaching you many things you do not now know....PATIENCE!.
You need not let satan bother you, the COMBINATION of YOUR SPIRIT (character/attitudes) AND God's Spirit repel/restrain him......
....satan has no HOLD on a righteous man......no "HOLD", can only TEMPT).
2 Thessalonians 2:6
"And you know what is restraining him now so that he may be revealed in his time".
http://www.blueletterbible.org/search/translationResults.cfm?Criteria=bearing+witness+with&t=RSV&sf=5
"HIS SPIRIT IN THE INNER MAN" (Ephesians 3:16).
All verses here are from the RSV.
Use the blueletterbible website as an online concordance and also cross=reference verses in other versions for better understanding of any verse or passage you need/want clarified (or GATEWAY.COM).
Many modern versions have been watered down and corrupted (always cross-reference).
http://www.bible.ca/Jw-NWT.htm
http://kelschbiblestudy.tripod.com/christ_news/versions/
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20Government/Police%20State/501c3.htm
Many lies and mistruths have been taught for centuries. The Lord will be teaching you many things. Let HIM be your only spiritual teacher.
There is a 'God seed' inside of everyone who truly LOVES GOD ONLY (and is not impressed by the ways of man, do not glorify man for what is DIVINE)....MAN (the 6th day creation) likes to put itself in the role of the 3 manifestations of God (3 sixes....666)...."it is a human number" (Revelation 13:18).
---------Somehow, this got cut-off from my post that ended with the reference to Revelation 13:18. I'll post it now and it should add some understanding/explanation.
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666 is not the number of a "living, breathing, soul" that has been "restored" (a 7th day creation, NEW CREATION) to the way Adam was before the fall in Eden, it is "the number of a SIXTH day creation ("A MAN" (an UNREDEEMED fallen man).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incident_at_Antioch
We've all been taught "milk", it's up to each of us to learn "solid food" in order to have a "more excellent" devotion (1 Corinthians 12:31) based on "the greatest of these" (1 Corinthians 13:13).
Know God as "Abba Father", NOT "master".....
"lover of goodness, master of himself" Luke 3:6.
Cheer up...REJOICE, The Lord has not left you, He has only prepared you (because YOU know how to "ENDURE") by teaching "suffering".
Romans 5:4 "and endurance produces character, and character produces hope".
Romans 5:4 "and endurance produces character, and character produces hope".
