I have two. Both by Dr. Jack Hayford when I was a member of The Church On The Way in California back in the late 70's.
The first one changed my life. It was called Integrity of Heart. I was in love with a married man, and had absolutely no power in myself to stop seeing him. I tried many times month after month, but within three days we were back together. Then I heard Jack's sermon one Sunday morning. I decided to confess to God that I was a powerless sinner and if He wanted this affair to stop He would have to make my lover break up with me and then give him the power to stay away from me when I would try to get him back - my current MO. It was total honesty - integrity of heart. Within one week, through a chain of unrelated events, my lover broke up with me, saying he finally discovered that he couldn't be there when I needed him, and he was freeing me to find someone who could. That epiphany gave him the resolve to stay away from me. That was the beginning, and it was only two weeks later that I was baptized in the Holy Spirit, and from then on had supernatural power to stay away from willful sin.
The next was Abiding in Jesus about a year later. I bought a set of tapes by my pastor, Jack Hayford, on abiding in Jesus based on John 15.
At the time, I happened to be suffering from another broken heart. My boyfriend had broken up with me several months before, but the lump in my throat and the pain in my heart was still ever-present.
He was the first Christian man I had dated seriously since becoming a Christian. I had pictured us getting married and going to Church On The Way where we both attended, hand-in-hand forever. Then with no warning of trouble, he called and broke up with me, cold. Not even an explanation. He didn’t call again after that. I was in shock.
It wasn’t a gradual break-up, one that I could prepare myself for. I went from the mountain tops to the abyss. And even after five months, the pain just wouldn’t subside. I was falling into deep depression, but I was still abiding in Jesus. At that time in my young walk with Jesus that meant I saturated myself with Christianity - all I wanted to do was learn. I had an insatiable desire to read my Bible, listened to nothing but Christian radio and tapes, and go to church whenever the doors were open. I wanted as much of Jesus as I could get.
One day at lunch, I was in my car and started listening to this new set of tapes I had bought. When Pastor Jack got to verse 7 of John 15 in the study, I excitedly realized that I was abiding in Jesus, only wanted His will in my life, and that the promise, therefore, was for me! I didn’t know it then, but that scripture had been breathed into my spirit; God had turned the logos into rhema. It was like an epiphany. But now I know it was God. At that moment God gave me a new dosing of the gift of faith. And I knew just what I wanted to ask for, being careful to stay in the fear of the Lord, and His will.
“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petition that we have asked of Him.” 1 John 5:15-16
I prayed, “Dear Jesus, I have been abiding in you, and Your Word abides in me, so I can ask what I want. And what I want is to stay in Your will regarding my relationship with Mel. I’m not asking that Mel and I get back together. But I still miss him. If nothing else, he is still my Christian brother, so, I ask You to have him call me tonight just to say hello. That’s all, not to get back together or anything that might not be Your will, because above everything else I want what You want in my life. You have a plan for my life and it is for my good. You know Mel better than I obviously do, and if he’s not what You want in my future, then so be it. Thank you. In Jesus Name I ask this. Amen”
That evening I sat down to watch a little television. At about 8:30 pm I was so sleepy I decided to go to bed. But then I remembered my prayer that day at noon.
“Oh, Mel is supposed to call me tonight!”
Even though I was exhausted from the endless depression, I picked up the TV Guide. Quincy was coming on at 9:00 pm. I put the TV Guide down and talked to Jesus while I put on my pajamas.
“I’m going to watch Quincy at nine o’clock, Lord Jesus, but at ten o’clock I’m going to bed.”
At 9:30 pm the phone rang.
“Hi, it’s Mel, just called to say hello.”
