De facto relationships

[Josho]

What's your thoughts/views on de facto relationships?

A de facto relationship is when two people are not married but live together or have lived together as a couple on a genuine domestic basis.

I have heard of plenty of Christians doing this in today's world.

And don't worry it's not something I ever plan to do, traditionally Christians are supposed to marry first before moving in together, that is the Christian tradition.

De facto relationships are a no for me.

 

[MatthewG]

Hello Josho,

As far as the bible says it; the Children leave their mom and dad and become one flesh with their wife/husband, moving onward and making children.

Loving each other in the way of Loving God and Loving others, though it is tough to do.

So having to go to a church and be ordained by a pastor and everything is just the world and what it suggest you need to do.

My thought and view on de fact relationships is this: Think for yourself. Question with God, and your spouse/husband/wife if you are going to be there for one another through thick and thin no matter what problems come about. Though some may marry someone who may be not a Christian, and live with them.

The bible talks about being very careful in this situation but if you keep your focus towards God it will be beneficial even if your husband or wife does not believe in God; maybe they will turn to them seeing you and how you are being when it comes to worshiping God in spirit and truth.

With love in Christ,
Matthew G.

 

[Addy]

@Josho... explain genuine domestic basis... Does that mean strictly room mates and no sexual intimacy?

Christian couples living together before marriage are almost guaranteed to have engaged in pre-marital sex... which simply means...
SHACKED up.

If your definition is genuinely on a room mate basis.... there are NO witnesses to prove that they are NOT misbehaving while under the same roof.

This is NOT a good example for Christian couples.

 

[MatthewG]

Should all the 'heathen' children out there shacking up be brought in Church and condemned for their actions?

 

[Addy]

Should all the 'heathen' children out there shacking up be brought in Church and condemned for their actions?

Not condemned... If you know anything about me... I do NOT condemn anyone... However... I don't think clergy should be agreeing to marry people who are living together... that's just me.

 

[Addy]

Should all the 'heathen' children out there shacking up be brought in Church and condemned for their actions?

Not sure what you mean by heathen children... I don't think anyone should be condemned... If you know anything about me... I do NOT condemn anyone... However... I don't think clergy should be agreeing to marry people who are living together...The church has failed big time on this issue.

 

[Josho]

@Josho... explain genuine domestic basis... Does that mean strictly room mates and no sexual intimacy?

Christian couples living together before marriage are almost guaranteed to have engaged in pre-marital sex... which simply means...
SHACKED up.

If your definition is genuinely on a room mate basis.... there are NO witnesses to prove that they are NOT misbehaving while under the same roof.

This is NOT a good example for Christian couples.

This is just a definition of De Facto relationships I found on Google according to "Legal Aid Victoria"

If I read further into that site it says

"A couple in a de facto relationship can register their relationship with the Registry of Births Deaths and Marriages.

If you are in a registered relationship, you do not have to provide evidence that you are in a domestic relationship to apply for a financial order. This makes it easier for couples to access their legal rights if their relationship breaks down."

I guess that answers your question.

 

[Josho]

@Josho...
This is NOT a good example for Christian couples.

I definitely agree with you, a Christian couple should not be living together if they are not married.

They shouldn't be living together like a married couple outside of marriage.


But some Christians think it's okay.....

 

[Addy]

Ha @ Josho... NOT really... You mentioned that plenty of Christians are doing this.

I was trying to determine whether this relationship is a STATEMENT/ARGUMENT regarding "It's possible to live together WITHOUT SINNING "

What you are describing is what we would call in Canada.... SHACKING up... which is living together before marriage...

The excuses are all kinds... but the one I mostly hear is WHY pay two rents when we are getting married anyways??

I understand that a non married couple CAN apply for common-law status after 6 months together.

 

[Addy]

But some Christians think it's okay.....

I find this SHOCKING.... to do it with GUILT and under PRESSURE from someone is what I would expect.
But to be a Christian and think this is OK..... Those people need to find a new belief system. IT IS NOT OK... by
any stretch of the imagination.

 

[Josho]

I find this SHOCKING.... to do it with GUILT and under PRESSURE from someone is what I would expect.
But to be a Christian and think this is OK..... Those people need to find a new belief system. IT IS NOT OK... by
any stretch of the imagination.

Unfortunately it's something that has been normalized in my generation, it shows you how far some have drifted from the truth to think it's "okay."

And no

"I was trying to determine whether this relationship is a STATEMENT/ARGUMENT regarding "It's possible to live together WITHOUT SINNING "

Even though some Christians may think this way. A lot (possibly all) of those in these types of relationships end up in the same bed before marriage.

This is a silly excuse

"The excuses are all kinds... but the one I mostly hear is WHY pay two rents when we are getting married anyways??"

As if one has not been married yet, he or she is not one yet. And he or she could still live with their parents if he or she cannot afford rent on their own.

 

[Addy]

I had no idea that CHRISTIANS were thinking this way... shows how out of the loop I am... I assumed these people were not ones actively involved in churches or even being believers.

 

[Addy]

I understand that this generation is one of ANYTHING goes for the right of FREEDOM to choose...
BUT... Where are these Christians going to church??? Which churches are teaching that it is OK to embrace sinful living ??
I am very curious to know which DENOMINATIONS are teaching this? You might not have any answers on this... Just asking.

I know that there are some churches who have modernized their VIEW of LGBTQ agenda.... some are accepting homosexuality and even ordaining homosexual ministers.... that has been around for some time now... but the issue of pre-marital sex and living together before marriage... I'm just plain shocked.

 

[Josho]

I had no idea that CHRISTIANS were thinking this way... shows how out of the loop I am... I assumed these people were not ones actively involved in churches or even being believers.

You would like to assume so, but unfortunately some are mixed in, especially in the big churches....

@marksman maybe able to tell you some more.

 

[Truman]

One man, one woman, make vows, get together and stay together, for life, come what may. This is God's plan.
Dead to self? Not according to Christian divorce certificates.
People do what people want to do.

 

[MatthewG]

In a Godly relationship wouldn’t there really be worry of things going terribly wrong if the people are on the same page with other?

Maybe sounds impossible but how can people explain being married for a certain amount of time and still love their married partner, even those old enough to be in retirement homes, or nursing home.

Having a good relationship regardless of def Co or not is the main concern really. For each other.

Their needs, their likes, dislikes, growing and even sharing Christ when it is possible. Sometimes am nervous when it comes to sharing Christ but that happens around new people.

Of course your opening line could always be thankful for God and Jesus Christ and to see you is nice, what is your name?

This is a conversation about two people living who May or may not be shacking up which is no ones business really but between those two and God himself.

Like stated before no problem with it here for me if they are having abuse problems or always anger, hate towards each other; they may need councilors to help them, or cut the relationship off and go separate ways.

It’s always going to be about that relationship and having love for God and others.

 

[Addy]

This is a conversation about two people living who May or may not be shacking up which is no ones business really but between those two and God himself.

I think this is a conversation about the CHURCH neglecting their "RESPONSIBILITIES" and not teaching and stressing PURITY and CELIBACY...

This is what happens when these MEGA churches grow.... NO SHEPHERDING... NO DISCIPLESHIP... and NO ACCOUNTABILITY.

 

[MatthewG]

Hello to you, whoever may be reading.

That tends to be where some people will Go.

Instead taking in our own responsibility of just not trying to get in others business instead try and mind their own business.

(Unless they themselves bring up the question to you personally seeking your thoughts on the message like the original post).

Just blame the church. They aren’t doing anything.

The only accountability though for some people accountability helps and works for them.

The real thing is all people are accountable to God who have faith and are living towards God and living by faith if walking in the spirit in love.

All people have their own responsibilities in life. Those without faith made their choice even if they have been given the truth.

Believers are accountable to God in their own personal relationship in where God works by writing his laws on the hearts and minds of individuals who place their faith in Christ.

It is is amazing how much freedom that leaves a person; God himself by the spirit can correct a person.

The experience may be guilt or shame or whatever feeling because of grieving by the spirit of knowing they messed up and that whatever actions takes away from having as much of the Holy Spirit.

Those are some of my thoughts,
With love in Christ,
Matthew G.

 

[MatthewG]

Marriage is becoming one shacking up (two people become one - sex, living together; having God in their life ) though so may marry someone who may not be a Christian. The Bible describes that.

Many people don’t realize that either. So when a person comes tell me they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I’ll quickly correct them and tell them oh your wife. And they of course will correct me saying no my girlfriend.

Ive been married a few times in life by shacking up with two women. Though it was not by the state or church. Those two marriages really happened and God taught me how much of a terrible husband I would make especially without God in my life back then.

 

[APAK]

What's your thoughts/views on de facto relationships?

A de facto relationship is when two people are not married but live together or have lived together as a couple on a genuine domestic basis.

I have heard of plenty of Christians doing this in today's world.

And don't worry it's not something I ever plan to do, traditionally Christians are supposed to marry first before moving in together, that is the Christian tradition.

De facto relationships are a no for me.

Actually this is an overlooked subject and needs to be readdressed by Christians and others alike.

I will not inject my personal view, only factors that have some bearing.

1. God hates divorce.
2. God established marriage for one man and one woman to stay in a permanent life-long relationship barring circumstances set in his word, in one purpose, mind, spirit and in physical relations, to curb the appetite to wander, to sin and to also procreate and extend humankind etc.

Now saying all this, does it matter whether one must go to an official 'church' to an official of it, an ordained minister, pastor or priest to seal this marriage bond, as if God would only sign off if only done in this matter?

And of course there are other traditional ways of sealing the deal, say by a Captain of a vessel for example, at sea. And he or she is not a 'church' official. God still signs off on it though, right?

And if a couple is not in any environment or in contact with any other human say for years. Can these two get married under the commands and words of God without a 'traditional' human mediator in attendance at least? And what if this couple do not believe in the God of Abraham, or are just plain ignorant of his existence. Can these two still be married under the view of God our Creator?

This is why there was invented in the West at least, Common English Law that also considered common law for marriages. This I believe is equivalent as your genuine domestic basis of marriage.

So must we be in need of a church official to get truly saved as God would permit it?

So must we be in need of a 'church' official to get truly married as God would permit it?