Where can I find a really shy woman for a relationship?

[Ferris Bueller]

"But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace."

If my husband is being abusive to me, he's already an "unbeliever" and he has already "left" the marriage.

I would not feel 'bound' in such a case.

Sounds good, but, no, that does not mean you can divorce him. I've seen divorce rationalized in a lot of ways. The only grounds for actually ending a marriage and getting remarried is unfaithfulness, physical abandonment, and of course, death.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Move out, but stay legally married.

Do you have scripture for her right to move out? I happen to agree, but where is it in scripture?

Let me ask you this. What is a man's abuse of his wife involves forcefully prostituting her (against her will)? Or rape ....as in unwanted sex in the presence of another person? Does that fall under adultery and is it grounds for divorce?

 

[Mink57]

No! The exact opposite. The abused is out of the reach of the abuser and forces the abuser to either have a relationship without abuse, or leave and get another relationship. Either way the abused is protected and does not sin against the Lord.

If that's what you believe, then you don't know a whole lot about the mindset of abusers.

The most dangerous time for an abused woman is when she leaves! How many times do we read/hear that an angry abusive man has killed his wife (and/or their kids) who had moved out and was separated from her husband?

 

[Ferris Bueller]

Similar to what Ferris wrote, I have taken the position that spousal abuse is effectively the same as an unbeliever abandoning his wife per 1 Corinthians 7:15:

But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

The problem with this is people start moving the boundaries of what constitutes 'leaving' a spouse. Maybe a person, especially a woman, feels their spouse has 'left' them emotionally and so they rationalize getting a divorce.

 

[Mink57]

Similar to what Ferris wrote, I have taken the position that spousal abuse is effectively the same as an unbeliever abandoning his wife per 1 Corinthians 7:15:

But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

(Dang, Mink beat me to it by 2 minutes. I need to type faster!)

LOL! It's usually ME who's slow at the keyboard!

 

[Ferris Bueller]

Do you have scripture for her right to move out? I happen to agree, but where is it in scripture?

No. It's just common sense to get out of the way when someone is hitting you. Or buy a gun. And I'm not kidding. Self defense, except perhaps in the case of direct and open persecution, is not forbidden in scripture.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

Not so. The Bible clearly teaches that celibacy is the way to go if you can control your desires.

“For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.” (Matthew 19:12)

The problem is that most (including myself) can't gain full control of their desires.

Humans are biologically programmed to seek intimacy.

 

[Mink57]

No. It's just common sense to get out of the way when someone is hitting you. Or buy a gun. And I'm not kidding. Self defense, except perhaps in the case of direct and open persecution, is not forbidden in scripture.

Whoa...

 

[Mink57]

The problem with this is people start moving the boundaries of what constitutes 'leaving' a spouse. Maybe a person, especially a woman, feels their spouse has 'left' them emotionally and so they rationalize getting a divorce.

Emotionally? How about spiritually? How about that the spouse lied about his idea of what a marriage is supposed to be, even though they discussed it?

If the marriage isn't a "marriage" in the first place, then you're not 'leaving' a 'marriage'...

 

[TLHKAJ]

No. It's just common sense to get out of the way when someone is hitting you. Or buy a gun. And I'm not kidding. Self defense, except perhaps in the case of direct and open persecution, is not forbidden in scripture.

I hear what you're saying. Oftentimes, she still loves him and shooting him isn't in her heart and it may be an even worse grief to take his life.

The reason I pose these questions is because I know women (like myself) who are survivors of SRA/MK whose marriages were set up and arranged by cult so that they marry a cult handler. They are kept accessible to be used by the cult ...as well their children. So these are important questions to be addressed for those thousands of women who are in this situation.

 

[Mink57]

The problem is that most (including myself) can't gain full control of their desires.

Humans are biologically programmed to seek intimacy.

Actually, most can.
But most don't want to...

 

[Jane_Doe22]

The problem is that most (including myself) can't gain full control of their desires.

Humans are biologically programmed to seek sex.

Men and women are meant to be together and social with others.

Isolation is against God’s ways.

 

[Lambano]

Whoa...

I actually agree with Ferris on this one. There's a reason my wife carries a Glock 48. (Though her abusive ex has long gone on to face his judgment, whatever that may be.)

 

[ShyIntrovert]

Actually, most can.
But most don't want to...

But the longing is still there... and can damage their relationship with God, possibly even unconsciously.

 

[Mink57]

Men and women are meant to be together and social with others.

Isolation is against God’s ways.

The Bible does not say this...

 

[Mink57]

But the longing is still there... and can damage their relationship with God, possibly even unconsciously.

IF they let it, sure. But there ARE some men who have overcomes those 'urges'. Good for them!

 

[ShyIntrovert]

IF they let it, sure. But there ARE some men who have overcomes those 'urges'. Good for them!

SOME!

You said it.

 

[Ferris Bueller]

1 Corinthians 7:9
But if they have not continency, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

But this just brings us back to your OP. If you want to go with this just be prepared for the sharpening that marriage is to a man.

Your fears are not unfounded. Because you are educated about how people are at this time in human history you can make a more informed decision about who to marry. But don't think that's going to make marriage a calk walk because it's not. It will be far more delightful if you marry a woman who understands marital obligations as you do. Don't get married without literally asking God if it's okay to marry the one you've chosen.

It's not how well you get along that determines a good marriage. It's how well you don't get along that determines that. Understand what I'm saying?

 

[ShyIntrovert]

The Bible does not say this...

Then women wouldn't even exist.

Genesis 2:18
And Jehovah God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.

 

[Mink57]

Then women wouldn't even exist.

Genesis 2:18
And Jehovah God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.

Yes, "THE" man, as in Adam; not ALL men. If it was ALL men, Christ wouldn't have said (I'm paraphrasing) that not all would be married. Marriage is a choice. Not all are called to marry.