Where can I find a really shy woman for a relationship?

[ShyIntrovert]

Hi, I’m a young student who is slowly growing up and approaching adult life, and as such I’m wondering which would be the woman I could marry in the future. Sometimes my hormones attack me and make me desperate to enter a relationship, though I know that I should be patient and trust God, especially now that I don’t have many responsibilities and can live pretty comfortably. But this will end someday and I will have to begin a new life want it or not, so I want to planify my purpose and goals for my adult life. And one of the most important areas will be marriage and children, so I should be extremely cautious with picking the woman I make my life with, because if this part goes wrong my life will be irreparably lost forever. Divorce is not any joke and may leave me literally begging in the streets.

This said, after observing the behavior and character of the vast majority of women my around (pride, arrogance, entitlement, promiscuity, rudeness, mistreatment, disrespect, attention-seeking, gossip, drama, tattoos, piercings, Netflix, Instagram, selfies, trips to Dubai, feminism, horoscopes, Buddhas, dyed hairs, immodest clothing etc) it is more than clear that if I don’t pick an unicorn from Mars they will kill me. I don’t know of any single woman my age who doesn’t have an Instagram profile and dozens of friends (with benefits).

Because the world of these days is so wicked and corrupted and most women seem to only do whatever this evil world tells them to, I have come to the conclusion that my only safe option is to meet a socially awkward loner with no friends at all, who hides and isolates herself from society and only gets along with her family. A woman who is really shy, reserved, introverted, quiet, bashful... scared of strangers, blushes a lot, takes centuries to even give a chance to someone, lacks social skills, has no Instagram or Facebook profiles and of course a devout Christian virgin. Basically a woman who lives in an unbreakable bubble that nobody but those given access to by the Lord can enter. I know this may be a bit too much to expect, but this is honestly the only kind of woman I can see myself with (something very close at least).

The thing is that I have no idea on where I could ever find such a woman, because I won’t give up on this ideal either. I don’t want a socially confident woman, not at all. I don’t want a woman to kill me with games, drama, criticism, lies, mistreatment, infidelity, illegitimate children, alimony, child support and theft of belongings. I don’t want a woman to exchange me for Chad Tyrone. I want a woman I can be sure that will respect me. Even if it takes a longer time to find.

So, then what places would you recommend for me? Thanks all.

 

[Cassandra]

Because the world of these days is so wicked and corrupted and most women seem to only do whatever this evil world tells them to, I have come to the conclusion that my only safe option is to meet a socially awkward loner with no friends at all, who hides and isolates herself from society and only gets along with her family

This is really strange. In other words, you want someone you can control.

 

[Michiah-Imla]

This is really strange. In other words, you want someone you can control.

Yeah.

Sort of like what the Bible teaches.

But biblical principles are “strange” these days:

“I have written to him the great things of my law, but they were counted as a strange thing.” (Hosea 8:12)

 

[Nancy]

Hi, I’m a young student who is slowly growing up and approaching adult life, and as such I’m wondering which would be the woman I could marry in the future. Sometimes my hormones attack me and make me desperate to enter a relationship, though I know that I should be patient and trust God, especially now that I don’t have many responsibilities and can live pretty comfortably. But this will end someday and I will have to begin a new life want it or not, so I want to planify my purpose and goals for my adult life. And one of the most important areas will be marriage and children, so I should be extremely cautious with picking the woman I make my life with, because if this part goes wrong my life will be irreparably lost forever. Divorce is not any joke and may leave me literally begging in the streets.

This said, after observing the behavior and character of the vast majority of women my around (pride, arrogance, entitlement, promiscuity, rudeness, mistreatment, disrespect, attention-seeking, gossip, drama, tattoos, piercings, Netflix, Instagram, selfies, trips to Dubai, feminism, horoscopes, Buddhas, dyed hairs, immodest clothing etc) it is more than clear that if I don’t pick an unicorn from Mars they will kill me. I don’t know of any single woman my age who doesn’t have an Instagram profile and dozens of friends (with benefits).

Because the world of these days is so wicked and corrupted and most women seem to only do whatever this evil world tells them to, I have come to the conclusion that my only safe option is to meet a socially awkward loner with no friends at all, who hides and isolates herself from society and only gets along with her family. A woman who is really shy, reserved, introverted, quiet, bashful... scared of strangers, blushes a lot, takes centuries to even give a chance to someone, lacks social skills, has no Instagram or Facebook profiles and of course a devout Christian virgin. Basically a woman who lives in an unbreakable bubble that nobody but those given access to by the Lord can enter. I know this may be a bit too much to expect, but this is honestly the only kind of woman I can see myself with (something very close at least).

The thing is that I have no idea on where I could ever find such a woman, because I won’t give up on this ideal either. I don’t want a socially confident woman, not at all. I don’t want a woman to kill me with games, drama, criticism, lies, mistreatment, infidelity, illegitimate children, alimony, child support and theft of belongings. I don’t want a woman to exchange me for Chad Tyrone. I want a woman I can be sure that will respect me. Even if it takes a longer time to find.

So, then what places would you recommend for me? Thanks all.

Welcome here brother,
It seems that what you are looking for is only something God can give you. You should not put so many personality traits like, introvert, shy...perhaps what you mean is you want a GODLY woman. And The Lord CAN direct you to the correct and perfect mate for you, but only IF you trust without wavering and believe that He knows who is best for you. I myself, would much rather "Acknowledge Him in ALL our ways..." And, "He will direct your paths to His liking which is always best. So, patients and faith fully, must be in check. God sometimes gives us what we want only to see and learn that, it was not what I wanted. Only He can choose the perfect woman for you. I would not be putting so many "specifics" on anyone. Only God knows the perfect woman for you, and His timing is perfect.

Just ask Him, IN FAITH, to send her across your path. Also, do you belong to a local body, a bible preaching church? If not, ask Him to open a door for you and He will...in His time.
Pray, trust and believe with all your heart that God will answer your prayers in His way and in His time. Pray, and watch Him work!
Welcome to CB.

 

[Pearl]

Hi, I’m a young student who is slowly growing up and approaching adult life, and as such I’m wondering which would be the woman I could marry in the future. Sometimes my hormones attack me and make me desperate to enter a relationship, though I know that I should be patient and trust God, especially now that I don’t have many responsibilities and can live pretty comfortably. But this will end someday and I will have to begin a new life want it or not, so I want to planify my purpose and goals for my adult life. And one of the most important areas will be marriage and children, so I should be extremely cautious with picking the woman I make my life with, because if this part goes wrong my life will be irreparably lost forever. Divorce is not any joke and may leave me literally begging in the streets.

This said, after observing the behavior and character of the vast majority of women my around (pride, arrogance, entitlement, promiscuity, rudeness, mistreatment, disrespect, attention-seeking, gossip, drama, tattoos, piercings, Netflix, Instagram, selfies, trips to Dubai, feminism, horoscopes, Buddhas, dyed hairs, immodest clothing etc) it is more than clear that if I don’t pick an unicorn from Mars they will kill me. I don’t know of any single woman my age who doesn’t have an Instagram profile and dozens of friends (with benefits).

Because the world of these days is so wicked and corrupted and most women seem to only do whatever this evil world tells them to, I have come to the conclusion that my only safe option is to meet a socially awkward loner with no friends at all, who hides and isolates herself from society and only gets along with her family. A woman who is really shy, reserved, introverted, quiet, bashful... scared of strangers, blushes a lot, takes centuries to even give a chance to someone, lacks social skills, has no Instagram or Facebook profiles and of course a devout Christian virgin. Basically a woman who lives in an unbreakable bubble that nobody but those given access to by the Lord can enter. I know this may be a bit too much to expect, but this is honestly the only kind of woman I can see myself with (something very close at least).

The thing is that I have no idea on where I could ever find such a woman, because I won’t give up on this ideal either. I don’t want a socially confident woman, not at all. I don’t want a woman to kill me with games, drama, criticism, lies, mistreatment, infidelity, illegitimate children, alimony, child support and theft of belongings. I don’t want a woman to exchange me for Chad Tyrone. I want a woman I can be sure that will respect me. Even if it takes a longer time to find.

So, then what places would you recommend for me? Thanks all.

Don't get married for sex. You need love, friendship and mutual respect in a marriage. You need to be equal intellectually and like minded spiritually. don't rush into anything. don't go looking for a woman be patient and wait for God to bring you the right one.

 

[Enoch111]

So, then what places would you recommend for me? Thanks all.

Hello and Welcome ShyIntrovert. There is no "Shy Persons Club" around. So rather than look for shy women, look for Christian women who are mature in the Lord and not shy to say that they are Christians. Like Nancy says -- "a godly woman". Which is easier said than done.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

That's exactly what I want - a godly woman who is shy, introverted and socially awkward as well.

I only live once, and will not put my only life into nuclear risk with a confident extrovert full of numbers, not at all. Because I know how the story will end. Seen it more than once already.

 

[Lambano]

This is really strange. In other words, you want someone you can control.

Ah. That's one of the reasons why this one sets off the red flags for me too.

 

[Enoch111]

...introverted and socially awkward...

This does not bode well. A person needs to mature in order to NOT be socially awkward. And an introvert could easily become something worse.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

I don't believe that God "leads" people to their spouse in the sense that He just brings it to them the day He finds appropriate. This is a pretty delusional hippy-like viewpoint which more often than not leads people to a long lifetime of singledom.

Sure God will help the good people who seek Him in the process, but the task ultimately falls on the individual, and it's the individual the one who will pick and be held accountable for their actions the rest of their life. God will not provide for any of our needs if we don't put any effort on our lives.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

This does not bode well. A person needs to mature in order to NOT be socially awkward. And an introvert could easily become something worse.

Really? I think the opposite.

IT's typically the extrovert who end messed up, influenced by their wicked peers and make sudden U-turns on their lives (that if they were ever honest to begin with). Most of them leave you rotting in the landfill when they meet a person they, or their peers perceive as better than you.

Introverts on the other hand (not all) tend to be more stable and straightforward as they are not as easily influenced by the pop culture (or better said, anti-culture). And they can also develop a closer relationship with God than extroverts can do.

 

[Pearl]

That's exactly what I want - a godly woman who is shy, introverted and socially awkward as well.

I only live once, and will not put my only life into nuclear risk with a confident extrovert full of numbers, not at all. Because I know how the story will end. Seen it more than once already.

You do not need a woman who is a doormat. You want somebody who is equal intellectually. A lady who will not let you control her or take her for granted, otherwise you would soon have no respect for her.

What sort of woman did God give Adam? One who would be his helper not his servant.

 

[ShyIntrovert]

You do not need a woman who is a doormat. You want somebody who is equal intellectually. A lady who will not let you control her or take her for granted, otherwise you would soon have no respect for her.

What sort of woman did God give Adam? One who would be his helper not his servant.

Sincerely I would prefer that before a woman who constantly screams and puts down on me, makes drama out of nothing and humiliates me in front of her friends and even our children and etc.

Also I'm not sure why do you assume that I would lose respect for such a woman. And anyways I don't think such a woman even exists anywhere in the world, everyone more or less submissive has their limits so yuo have reason not to worry about that particularly.

 

[Michiah-Imla]

What sort of woman did God give Adam? One who would be his helper not his servant.

“Unto the woman he said… thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” (Genesis 3:16)

 

[Pearl]

Sincerely I would prefer that before a woman who constantly screams and puts down on me, makes drama out of nothing and humiliate me in front of her friends and even our children.

You don't want that sort of woman and I wasn't suggesting this is the type of woman you want at all. And hopefully a Christian woman would not be like that. A marriage should be like a dance partnership, no one pulling in their own direction but dancing together in harmony and being considerate of the other's needs. There should be mutual respect. Each person in the marriage should be allowed to develop and grow at their own speed and to their own level. You will have to spend a lifetime together so get it right and choose somebody you can respect as well as love; somebody who can be your best friend as well as you lover.

 

[amadeus]

Really? I think the opposite.

IT's typically the extrovert who end messed up, influenced by their wicked peers and make sudden U-turns on their lives (that if they were ever honest to begin with). Most of them leave you rotting in the landfill when they meet a person they, or their peers perceive as better than you.

Introverts on the other hand (not all) tend to be more stable and straightforward as they are not as easily influenced by the pop culture (or better said, anti-culture). And they can also develop a closer relationship with God than extroverts can do.

You seem to have strong opinions on this subject. Are you spouting what you learned from men or from God?

I grew up extremely introverted. I could scarcely talk to men and to women not at all. I joined the army, and I took speech courses in college to help me overcome that introverted nature of me. My efforts were wasted.

I only began to open my mouth similar to some of those extroverts after I had come to know God and had begun to follow His lead in my walk.

Before I was serving Him, He led a young lady to me who was quite extroverted. After we clashed horribly in marriage, He led both of us to Him and saved our marriage. This coming June we will celebrate 50 years of marriage. We are still serving that One God, who saved us and our marriage.

 

[Wynona]

Hi, I’m a young student who is slowly growing up and approaching adult life, and as such I’m wondering which would be the woman I could marry in the future. Sometimes my hormones attack me and make me desperate to enter a relationship, though I know that I should be patient and trust God, especially now that I don’t have many responsibilities and can live pretty comfortably. But this will end someday and I will have to begin a new life want it or not, so I want to planify my purpose and goals for my adult life. And one of the most important areas will be marriage and children, so I should be extremely cautious with picking the woman I make my life with, because if this part goes wrong my life will be irreparably lost forever. Divorce is not any joke and may leave me literally begging in the streets.

This said, after observing the behavior and character of the vast majority of women my around (pride, arrogance, entitlement, promiscuity, rudeness, mistreatment, disrespect, attention-seeking, gossip, drama, tattoos, piercings, Netflix, Instagram, selfies, trips to Dubai, feminism, horoscopes, Buddhas, dyed hairs, immodest clothing etc) it is more than clear that if I don’t pick an unicorn from Mars they will kill me. I don’t know of any single woman my age who doesn’t have an Instagram profile and dozens of friends (with benefits).

Because the world of these days is so wicked and corrupted and most women seem to only do whatever this evil world tells them to, I have come to the conclusion that my only safe option is to meet a socially awkward loner with no friends at all, who hides and isolates herself from society and only gets along with her family. A woman who is really shy, reserved, introverted, quiet, bashful... scared of strangers, blushes a lot, takes centuries to even give a chance to someone, lacks social skills, has no Instagram or Facebook profiles and of course a devout Christian virgin. Basically a woman who lives in an unbreakable bubble that nobody but those given access to by the Lord can enter. I know this may be a bit too much to expect, but this is honestly the only kind of woman I can see myself with (something very close at least).

The thing is that I have no idea on where I could ever find such a woman, because I won’t give up on this ideal either. I don’t want a socially confident woman, not at all. I don’t want a woman to kill me with games, drama, criticism, lies, mistreatment, infidelity, illegitimate children, alimony, child support and theft of belongings. I don’t want a woman to exchange me for Chad Tyrone. I want a woman I can be sure that will respect me. Even if it takes a longer time to find.

So, then what places would you recommend for me? Thanks all.

I recommend asking your friends, aquaintances and family to introduce you to young women they know.

I cannot in good conscience recommend dating online. I cannot guarantee that she'll be more shy than you but if they love God's Word, then they should behave respectfully towards you regardless.

Proverbs says a virtuous woman is like a ruby. That also means she may be hidden. She may not be out there on any dating site. You may have to look for her.

My husband was shy and awkward when he met me but I gave him a chance because he risked rejection to strike up a conversation with me.

Women who love God's Word are out there. I'm sure there are shy women who do as well but if she's more shy than you than will you be okay leading the conversations?

Also, is having a social media account a deal breaker? The Lord has lead me away from a lot of it, but not initially.

Also, I want to say that she may indeed be a devout virgin Christian but she'll still have flaws for you to love her through. There is no perfect woman who never commits evil in a marriage, only women who desire to serve God and do so imperfectly.

The difference in a Godly marriage is that you both learn from those mistakes and forge a bond of trust through forgiveness. The husband loves the wife in a sacrificial transformative way and the wife chooses to submit herself in this way.

If you want your marriage to be like this, say this up front and the right woman will agree and usually the wrong women will turn away.

Say you want to sacrificially lead the marriage, and wait for marriage to have sex. If they agree, you've likely got someone who will (imperfectly) try to respect you in marriage.

Edit: maybe not day one mentioning mqrriage but definitely try to look for Christian values within the first few conversations.

Again, perfection won't happen right away. You are not going to be zapped into a perfect husband on your wedding day. If she has flaws you can accept and she accepts yours, you have a committment, and then expect to have to hold on through all kinds of trials and tribulations.

But it's worth it because if you do, you'll forge a bond that will take you two through the rest of your lives.

 

[Cassandra]

Yeah.

Sort of like what the Bible teaches.

But biblical principles are “strange” these days:

“I have written to him the great things of my law, but they were counted as a strange thing.” (Hosea 8:12)

Nothing wrong with listening to your husband and obeying him, PROVIDED he loves you like Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. You guys always seem to forget that part.

 

[Mink57]

First of all, there are no guarantees in life. That sweet, shy, introvert you meet today, might turn out to be a 'late bloomer'...three years into your marriage

Second of all, you may want to review that list of yours. Some things on your list seem pretty unrealistic (scared of strangers? Blushes a lot? No friends?). Even you yourself wrote that your list "may be a bit too much to expect".

Thirdly, if you meet your future bride at a fairly young age, don't kid yourself into believing that she'll "never change". People in general don't reach their fullness of emotional maturity until their mid-20's to 30's. Heck, your own list might change in another few years.

And lastly...please don't even try to get into a relationship because of your hormones.

If God wants you to eventually have a wife, He will put the right woman in your life, at the right time.

 

[Rita]

Personally I don’t think any kind of list is helpful, the kind of wife you think you need may be completely different to the wife that God thinks you need. Also what about what kind of husband God may need you to be, I am pretty sure that we all need to change and often as not it’s through others that the changing happens.
Ask those who’s marriages have been successful and I am pretty sure you will find that either partner has
had ‘ negatives ‘ that the other partner has had to learn to live with and accept.
I cannot fit that group as my marriage failed, mainly because I didn’t fit into my husbands ideal of the kind of wife he wanted, he wanted a variety of women who, at different times met that requirement. He was governed by his own needs ………