- Jan 27, 2021
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If you've been a Christian for very long, you can think back to the time when you first accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior.
I was in high school when I found Jesus and I remember all I wanted to do was love on people and help others. I wanted to give up my lunch to feed other students. I stopped seeing cliques and started seeing people made in God's image.
I wanted to be a missionary in some impoverished foreign country and raise orphans. I wanted to do big things for God because I was so grateful for his grace toward me. I didn't deserve to know about Jesus. I thought I was too smart for him before
But God showed me His love was perfect and that He loved me despite how prideful I had been.
In the beginning of my walk, all I cared about was showing the love God had poured into my heart. I wanted to honor Him and care for the poor.
But what happens after that initial fiery passion? Others tell you to dial it back. They mock you for wanting to feed orphans and insist you go to college and focus on your status in the world whether you're called to attend college or not. (Now I have a degree I dont use).
Ministers, preachers, and radio pastors tell you that sin is this inescapable, inevitable thing even for believers. So why bother trying to stop?
I never stopped loving Jesus but I struggled with sin and rationalized it untill the fire was gone. I no longer felt compelled to serve and love the same way.
I had preachers who convicted and preachers that soothed my guilt. They said conflicting things, so I had different ones depending on what mood I was in. I depended on them for truth instead of the Bible. This turned out to be a horrible mistake.
I got married and at first, it was a disaster. I was so hurt but I couldn't see my part in it, that I was too focused on myself. Sin mopped the floor up with me and got worse until I finally saw ugliness I had allowed in my own soul. I had to apologize to my husband and start over.
It was Ezekiel that convinced me that it wasn't too late for me and that I could start over. If we practice righteousness today, we will be saved.
I read Galatians 5 and couldn't see the fruit of the Spirit in my life. How could this be? I had been a Christian for years. But I submit to you that I had allowed the fire I initially had to be dulled by the cares of this world and by false teaching.
It was only when I began reading the Word of God for myself that I began to experience love, joy, peace, and the fruit of the Spirit once more. I stopped believing the theologians and preachers. My conclusion from reading the Bible was, "every sin must go."
My marriage turned into an incredible blessing because my husband forgave me and God helped me change. I unlearned and am still unlearning many things that Ive heard from theologians, pastors, and other Christians, using the Bible as a test and guide.
Lies can dull our fire but the truth sets us free. The fire that I once had to love and give and serve with all of my heart is back. That high school girl who wanted to serve Jesus with all her heart is still me, still able to fight and kick thanks to God's incredible ability to lead us into all truth.
I was in high school when I found Jesus and I remember all I wanted to do was love on people and help others. I wanted to give up my lunch to feed other students. I stopped seeing cliques and started seeing people made in God's image.
I wanted to be a missionary in some impoverished foreign country and raise orphans. I wanted to do big things for God because I was so grateful for his grace toward me. I didn't deserve to know about Jesus. I thought I was too smart for him before
But God showed me His love was perfect and that He loved me despite how prideful I had been.
In the beginning of my walk, all I cared about was showing the love God had poured into my heart. I wanted to honor Him and care for the poor.
But what happens after that initial fiery passion? Others tell you to dial it back. They mock you for wanting to feed orphans and insist you go to college and focus on your status in the world whether you're called to attend college or not. (Now I have a degree I dont use).
Ministers, preachers, and radio pastors tell you that sin is this inescapable, inevitable thing even for believers. So why bother trying to stop?
I never stopped loving Jesus but I struggled with sin and rationalized it untill the fire was gone. I no longer felt compelled to serve and love the same way.
I had preachers who convicted and preachers that soothed my guilt. They said conflicting things, so I had different ones depending on what mood I was in. I depended on them for truth instead of the Bible. This turned out to be a horrible mistake.
I got married and at first, it was a disaster. I was so hurt but I couldn't see my part in it, that I was too focused on myself. Sin mopped the floor up with me and got worse until I finally saw ugliness I had allowed in my own soul. I had to apologize to my husband and start over.
It was Ezekiel that convinced me that it wasn't too late for me and that I could start over. If we practice righteousness today, we will be saved.
I read Galatians 5 and couldn't see the fruit of the Spirit in my life. How could this be? I had been a Christian for years. But I submit to you that I had allowed the fire I initially had to be dulled by the cares of this world and by false teaching.
It was only when I began reading the Word of God for myself that I began to experience love, joy, peace, and the fruit of the Spirit once more. I stopped believing the theologians and preachers. My conclusion from reading the Bible was, "every sin must go."
My marriage turned into an incredible blessing because my husband forgave me and God helped me change. I unlearned and am still unlearning many things that Ive heard from theologians, pastors, and other Christians, using the Bible as a test and guide.
Lies can dull our fire but the truth sets us free. The fire that I once had to love and give and serve with all of my heart is back. That high school girl who wanted to serve Jesus with all her heart is still me, still able to fight and kick thanks to God's incredible ability to lead us into all truth.