What Does Forgiveness Look Like in Practice?

[Wynona]

Is forgiveness just not taking personal vengeance? Is it forgetting the past and being open to reconciliation? What does it look like and are there limits?

 

[thelord's_pearl]

my thoughts are that forgiveness is yes, not taking personal vengeance and God says "Vengeance in Mine!" I believe that He knows we are fragile as people to take vengeance on each other so He reserved it for Himself. forgiveness is also treating the person like they never sinned against you and praying for them to change and having mercy on them. "blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy" God wants us to be merciful and the truth is, if we want mercy from God, we should understand that other people should have mercy from us too. We all fall short of the glory of God so that means we all sin to some degree and I believe it is how you're brought up that causes one to sin more than others, it's the fallen world that needs God and to learn from Him.

 

[Wynona]

my thoughts are that forgiveness is yes, not taking personal vengeance and God says "Vengeance in Mine!" I believe that He knows we are fragile as people to take vengeance on each other so He reserved it for Himself. forgiveness is also treating the person like they never sinned against you and praying for them to change and having mercy on them. "blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy" God wants us to be merciful and the truth is, if we want mercy from God, we should understand that other people should have mercy from us too. We all fall short of the glory of God so that means we all sin to some degree and I believe it is how you're brought up that causes one to sin more than others, it's the fallen world that needs God and to learn from Him.

I agree that forgiveness looks like praying for those who have hurt you in the past. Thanks for your thoughts.

Jesus says in Matthew 5:44
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

 

[Lambano]

Is forgiveness just not taking personal vengeance? Is it forgetting the past and being open to reconciliation? What does it look like and are there limits?

I think you hit it on the nose with "being open to reconciliation".

I remember an interesting discussion about forgiveness in our Sunday School class. Forgiveness doesn't mean actions don't have consequences; they do. What it does mean is that the offense is no longer a barrier to the relationship. Forgiveness is not reconciliation per se, but it is a necessary first step towards fixing the broken relationship.

 

[David H.]

Is forgiveness just not taking personal vengeance? Is it forgetting the past and being open to reconciliation? What does it look like and are there limits?

What I have come to see of late is that forgiving someone is taking the blame on yourself even when it is not your fault.... This is the very essence of what Christ did on the cross to forgive us... Him who knew no sin became sin for us. Hard concept to grasp, even harder to implement.

 

[thelord's_pearl]

I think you hit it on the nose with "being open to reconciliation".

I remember an interesting discussion about forgiveness in our Sunday School class. Forgiveness doesn't mean actions don't have consequences; they do. What it does mean is that the offense is no longer a barrier to the relationship. Forgiveness is not reconciliation per se, but it is a necessary first step towards fixing the broken relationship.

Sometimes you can reconcile, get back together again but other times, if the person is a danger and can't be trusted then you don't have to be in contact with the person again, but I also experienced once like a feeling or unction like the Holy Spirit was telling me that someone has changed so I felt better about it but I still don't know if it's true or not.

 

[Lambano]

Sometimes you can reconcile, get back together again but other times, if the person is a danger and can't be trusted then you don't have to be in contact with the person again, but I also experienced once like a feeling or unction like the Holy Spirit was telling me that someone has changed so I felt better about it but I still don't know if it's true or not.

Yeah, I was thinking about that after I posted. Like someone who murders a family member. You can give up the desire for vengeance (to borrow Wynona's wise words), but further relationship might be unwise. Though I saw one of those documentaries on TV about someone who did establish something of a relationship with the murderer - after he was safely convicted and imprisoned for life. Maybe that's what Jesus had in mind.

On a more personal case, there was my wife's relationship with her violently abusive ex-husband. That relationship could not be restored to what it was. Especially not after she married me, bigamy being currently illegal in all 50 US states. Forgiveness must look like something else.

 

[amigo de christo]

Is forgiveness just not taking personal vengeance? Is it forgetting the past and being open to reconciliation? What does it look like and are there limits?

JESUS said it best . If your brother do err , sin against you , REBUKE HIM
IF he repent forgive him . That is reconcilation .
Due to the fact we cannot truly be reconciled with one in error . THEY must be corrected , repent and be restored .
Today many folks simply use that to just say OH we all sin , lets not worry about anything and let us continue to keep company .
They are using forgiveness wrong .
NOW if one does err against me . I wont hold a grudge against them and hate them in my heart .
I would STILL PRAY for them to be forgiven .
But we are not to be unequally yoked at all . Not with the world , and not with unrepentant sinners in the church .
As far as if a man owed me a debt , I would just forgive it rather than hold that debt against him .
I mean , LOOK at all the debt i owed to the LORD and yet HE forgave me for JESUS CHRIST sake .
We need to learn the whole pattern given us in the bible so as men cannot decieve or mislead us .
Its the same with the judge not .
THEY are using that in the wrong context to support sins .
IT TOO was never meant for that reason . JUDGE NOT in one sense simply means CONDMEN NOT
aka we dont put anyone to death .
But we are still to judge those within the church . MEANING we DO correct error within the church .
Today folks are not rightly dividing things . Instead they are using certain teachings
TO SUPPORT an agenda . And are doing things Wrong .

 

[amigo de christo]

I agree that forgiveness looks like praying for those who have hurt you in the past. Thanks for your thoughts.

Jesus says in Matthew 5:44
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Yep we are love even our enemies . BLESS those that curse you . And i cannot think of a better blessing
than to do good unto them and preach the gospel to them . BLESSED ARE THOSE WHOSE LORD IS GOD , HIS CHRIST .
Again though some folks even are taking this out of text and trying to use it as a means
to be UNEQUALLY YOKED .
SO let me remind us about something . GO ye and preach the gospel
who ever hears you not , recieves not that testimony , HE DIDNT SAY OH WELL JUST FIND COMMON GROUND
JESUS actually said SHAKE the dust off your feet as a testimony against them .
AND I seen in acts where the apostels actually did JUST THAT . and said things like YOUR OWN BLOOD be upon YOUR OWN HEAD .
This is why i have been pleading and begging folks to get back into the bible so we can actually learn things for OURSELVES .

 

[amigo de christo]

What I have come to see of late is that forgiving someone is taking the blame on yourself even when it is not your fault.... This is the very essence of what Christ did on the cross to forgive us... Him who knew no sin became sin for us. Hard concept to grasp, even harder to implement.

Not quite my dear friend . Jesus didnt take the blame in the sense he said
OH Father this is my fault .
SO we ought not to take the blame if we are not the one in the wrong .
It not like if one wronged me , i would then go to them and say
hey lets just get along , ITS MY FAULT . NO , that would not be truth . ITS STILL their fault so i would not take the blame .
I would easily forgive folks . JESUS never blamed himself for any wrongs . HE FORGAVE Those who wronged him
on that cross . BUT notice HE didnt say , OH FATHER THIS IS MY FAULT , please forgive them .
I hope that makes sense my friend .

 

[Jim B]

Yep we are love even our enemies . BLESS those that curse you . And i cannot think of a better blessing
than to do good unto them and preach the gospel to them . BLESSED ARE THOSE WHOSE LORD IS GOD , HIS CHRIST .
Again though some folks even are taking this out of text and trying to use it as a means
to be UNEQUALLY YOKED .
SO let me remind us about something . GO ye and preach the gospel
who ever hears you not , recieves not that testimony , HE DIDNT SAY OH WELL JUST FIND COMMON GROUND
JESUS actually said SHAKE the dust off your feet as a testimony against them .
AND I seen in acts where the apostels actually did JUST THAT . and said things like YOUR OWN BLOOD be upon YOUR OWN HEAD .
This is why i have been pleading and begging folks to get back into the bible so we can actually learn things for OURSELVES .

You actually wrote "Yep we are love even our enemies"? Did you have a "come to Jesus" moment? You are always condemning everyone but yourself.

 

[amigo de christo]

You actually wrote "Yep we are love even our enemies"? Did you have a "come to Jesus" moment? You are always condemning everyone but yourself.

JIM you done ran out of gas and steam a long time ago .
I HAVE ALWAYS PREACHED THIS .
ITS you who hate the gays , its you who hate them .
CAUSE you wont correct squat . YOU wont help them within the church .
YOU always attack ME , who has never hated them or anyone .
BUT JUST cause i say its a sin and sin must be corrected within THE CHURCH JIM
you have constantly called me a hater .
I can only imagine what you would calll paul , james , jude , peter
even JOHN , EVEN CHRIST if they walked into your church
and started correcting the error within .
YOU MIGHT want to start reading the posts i have recently started to leave .
CAUSE by the grace of GOD , I and others will hammer these reminders
on the door of every church . CHURCHES are being duped jim .
AND IT AINT just the LIBERAL ONES EITHER . MANY have no idea
What the heck has been going on for a long , long time .

 

[Karl Peters]

The OP brings up a great question - what is forgiveness? And what does it mean, and what does it not mean?

First of all forgetting other peoples sins is not the same thing as forgiving them. That is why we sometimes see that we forgive AND forget other people's sins. They are two different things and that needs to be understood.

A few things I believe, from by conversations with the Lord about these topics (forgiveness and forgetting sins) He talked to me quite a bit on them, because He had me helping in a healing ministry. They are both very important to healing.

First of all - He told me that forgiveness is a 'judgement'!!!!

We can hold others accountable because they sin against us or even others, or we can turn that judgement over to God by forgiving them!!!

At the cross Jesus even said, "Father forgiven them" - Which is a very interesting thing, because Jesus not only forgave us at the cross but He put in a request to His Father to also forgive them (not hold them accountable for what we did to Him)

So there is both us forgiving others, and also us asking God to forgive them for what they did to us!! Again, this is two different things!! And a study and understanding about 'forgiveness' should include this. And again, it points to a very wise choice of topic and question in the OP. And honestly, everyone should really be talking to the Lord about these topics. He can and will teach you a lot about them!

Another thing about forgiveness which is often missed, is that forgiveness is also separate from healing!!! Forgiveness does work great and is needed in a healing ministry, but forgiveness is not the same thing as healing!!

The example the Lord talked to me about was - If a person stabs you in the arm you are going to bleed. You can and should forgive them, but that does not mean the bleeding stops!! The same thing is true with emotional stabbing of a person! We should know, especially if working in a Christian healing ministry, that getting someone to forgive another person does not mean they are not still going to feel hurt!!!! They can forgive the person that hurt them hundreds of times and still feel the pain!!

We saw that all the time in that Christian healing ministry!!! Some would come in week after week and be lead through forgiveness, and they still felt the pain and often wondered why? Again, the reason is that forgiveness is a judgement and thus is not medical treatment in any sense!!

So how does a person get medical treatment??

The answer is that they see the Doctor!!!!!

God said He is the God who heals us!!!

Therefore, once we get the person to forgive, the next thing we needed to do in the Christian healing ministry was to take them into that room where the Doctor (Jesus Christ) comes in to give them the medical treatment they need!!! Being in the healing ministry was like being the nurse that takes you into the room where the Doctor comes in to see you!!!

We are not the doctor, we are like the nurse who checks your blood pleasure before seeing the Doctor!!

Now let me go over what He told me about forgetting others sins against you!

The Doctor can put on the ointment that heals you and the Doctor can bandage your wound, yet we can take off the bandage and pick at the wound!! That is what failing to forget and move on does to us!! We keep thinking about the wound which is being healed, so we take off the bandage and pick at it over and over, so it doesn't heal right!!!!

Therefore, after the patient comes out of the room with the Doctor, we would go over the importance of forgetting and moving on with their life - meaning we didn't want them removing the bandage and picking at the wound!!!

There is one problem, that still needed to be addressed!! And that problem is the devils!! They like to get people to take off the bandage and pick at the wound, as opposed to letting the people just get on with their lives!!

So the solution to that is to have them to ask Jesus to help them with that battle with those dark spiritual forces that we battle with!!

And there were two parts to that! We would have them pray and ask Jesus to help them put those sins against them which they are forgiving out of sight - as far a the east is from the west, so they would see them. The second part was for us to pray for protection for them. It can be that the Lord would be with them, which He would. That they would hear His voice, which they can. That He would surrounding them with His army of angels, like a hedge of protection around them. And you can come up with other prayers that are like those. Yet "praying them out" as it was called in that healing ministry, is extremely important!! We don't want the work we did destroy when they left for home!!

I hope that helps, partially answer a great question. Still, take my main advice and seek the Teacher, Jesus Christ, on these topics. I guarantee that He can give you better understanding, and by a long shot, than I can!! But maybe I gave you something to talk to HIm about?

 

[Jim B]

JIM you done ran out of gas and steam a long time ago .
I HAVE ALWAYS PREACHED THIS .
ITS you who hate the gays , its you who hate them .
CAUSE you wont correct squat . YOU wont help them within the church .
YOU always attack ME , who has never hated them or anyone .
BUT JUST cause i say its a sin and sin must be corrected within THE CHURCH JIM
you have constantly called me a hater .
I can only imagine what you would calll paul , james , jude , peter
even JOHN , EVEN CHRIST if they walked into your church
and started correcting the error within .
YOU MIGHT want to start reading the posts i have recently started to leave .
CAUSE by the grace of GOD , I and others will hammer these reminders
on the door of every church . CHURCHES are being duped jim .
AND IT AINT just the LIBERAL ONES EITHER . MANY have no idea
What the heck has been going on for a long , long time .

What I have written I have written.

Read the tone of your post. Is it an expression of love or hate?

I was an elder in my church and was admired by everyone until I retired. Unlike yourself, I know how to love others as myself. Clearly you do not.

 

[Windmillcharge]

Forgiveness is shown to us by how God and Jesus forgive.
Before God or Jesus forgives us there has to be repentance, then there is forgiveness.

This is a hard thing to understand.
All through the bible in the old testament the Jews would sin and to gain ritual forgiveness they would go to the temple to offer a sacrifice for their sin, laying a hand on the ani als head as it was killed.
They learnt that forgiveness followed repentance.
This is seen in the new testament see Luke17:3 + 4.
If your brother sins against you rebuke them and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin seven times a day and seven times come back to you saying ' I repent ' you must forgive them.

Jesus on the cross did not forgive his killers, rather he prayed for them, as did Stephen when he was stoned to death.

They show us how we should deal with those who have offended against us and have not repented.
We are to pray for them, telling God all about it and opening ourselves up to the Spirits guidance.
How do we pray for them. We are to pray for there good. To pray regularly and intelligently for there well being.

 

[David H.]

Not quite my dear friend . Jesus didnt take the blame in the sense he said
OH Father this is my fault .
SO we ought not to take the blame if we are not the one in the wrong .
It not like if one wronged me , i would then go to them and say
hey lets just get along , ITS MY FAULT . NO , that would not be truth . ITS STILL their fault so i would not take the blame .
I would easily forgive folks . JESUS never blamed himself for any wrongs . HE FORGAVE Those who wronged him
on that cross . BUT notice HE didnt say , OH FATHER THIS IS MY FAULT , please forgive them .
I hope that makes sense my friend .

your missing my point. Jesus became sin for us who knew no sin. 2 Corinthians 5:21
What I am saying is that we are to become Christ like he is our example.... By apologizing for something we did not do in the first place we are following Christ example of becoming sin who knew no sin... substitutionary blame.... What I have found, is it goes a long way in restoring broken relationships, and opens the door to open discussion.... Just a hard learned lesson which deals with forgiveness. For me it is about taking up your cross daily...

God Bless

 

[Jim B]

Forgiveness is shown to us by how God and Jesus forgive.
Before God or Jesus forgives us there has to be repentance, then there is forgiveness.

This is a hard thing to understand.
All through the bible in the old testament the Jews would sin and to gain ritual forgiveness they would go to the temple to offer a sacrifice for their sin, laying a hand on the ani als head as it was killed.
They learnt that forgiveness followed repentance.
This is seen in the new testament see Luke17:3 + 4.
If your brother sins against you rebuke them and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin seven times a day and seven times come back to you saying ' I repent ' you must forgive them.

Jesus on the cross did not forgive his killers, rather he prayed for them, as did Stephen when he was stoned to death.

They show us how we should deal with those who have offended against us and have not repented.
We are to pray for them, telling God all about it and opening ourselves up to the Spirits guidance.
How do we pray for them. We are to pray for there good. To pray regularly and intelligently for there well being.

Luke 23:34, " Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Matthew 6:11-12,
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Matthew 18:21-22, "Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if my brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times."

Matthew 26:27-28, "Then he took a cup, and after giving thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."

And that is just from one gospel. Forgiveness is discussed 27 other time in the other three gospels.

Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you."

Colossians 3:13, "Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

James 5:15, "The prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise them up, and anyone who has committed sins will be forgiven."

1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Of course, this is just a small sampling but I hope you get the idea about Christian forgiveness. BTW, there is no requirement of repentance mentioned before forgiving someone. That is putting the burden on someone else for your behavior.

To repeat, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." He did NOT say "Father, forgive them, but only after they repent"

 

[Keturah]

your missing my point. Jesus became sin for us who knew no sin. 2 Corinthians 5:21
What I am saying is that we are to become Christ like he is our example.... By apologizing for something we did not do in the first place we are following Christ example of becoming sin who knew no sin... substitutionary blame.... What I have found, is it goes a long way in restoring broken relationships, and opens the door to open discussion.... Just a hard learned lesson which deals with forgiveness. For me it is about taking up your cross daily...

God Bless

I agree.
Remember the old saying" be a man or man up"?

It takes a bigger person to self examine our love, our attitude, our words, & our actions, even if / when we don't feel @ fault.

The heart is deceitful ( even to ourselves) who can know it; none but God.

Therefore if the Spirit has given you insight into your ownership of your part in anything that " reveals NOT his love", then repent of your actions ,forgive & show God's true love !

We walk in the FRUIT of his Spirit, if we are led by the Spirit & are the children of God!

We are being watched, not only by heaven but by the world!

 

[Keturah]

The above is much easier to say, believe in, than to put into the practicality of living in a "forgiving" spirit !

 

[amigo de christo]

The above is much easier to say, believe in, than to put into the practicality of living in a "forgiving" spirit !

March onward in the LORD my friend and friends . HE is our hope , HE IS OUR SALVATION