I hate myself, and hate being an atheist.

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thelord's_pearl

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I study a lot of NDEs, and I do so because that's the closest thing of "proof" we can get. Though not ALL stories are that believable. All kinds of people get to see heaven: atheists, Jewish, Muslim, etc. See, now that is how God should be. If you're a good person, you get to see paradise. Beliefs should not matter. It should be about what's inside.

I'd let a charitable and loving atheist into heaven a thousand times, and another hundred times, and another thousand times, before I remotely let a nasty Christian in there. A God who's smarter than me would probably understand that.
no one is really good apart from God, we become better with God and know perfect love. Wordly people do the wrong things, are lost and broken, sin without a care, God puts in the Holy Spirit so that you'd always care and want to strive to be perfectly good and He wants a relationship with you and has a plan for your life if you'll follow Him and read His Word, the Holy bible.
 

Cerraco

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no one is really good apart from God, we become better with God and know perfect love. Wordly people do the wrong things, are lost and broken, sin without a care, God puts in the Holy Spirit so that you'd always care and want to strive to be perfectly good and He wants a relationship with you and has a plan for your life if you'll follow Him and read His Word, the Holy bible.
I've already read those books, and some parts left me horrified and confused.
 

Michiah-Imla

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I've already read those books, and some parts left me horrified and confused.

“To whom shall I speak, and give warning, that they may hear? behold, their ear is uncircumcised, and they cannot hearken: behold, the word of the LORD is unto them a reproach; they have no delight in it.” (Jeremiah 6:10)
 

Cerraco

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“To whom shall I speak, and give warning, that they may hear? behold, their ear is uncircumcised, and they cannot hearken: behold, the word of the LORD is unto them a reproach; they have no delight in it.” (Jeremiah 6:10)
That isn't the word of the Lord, that's the word of ancient writers assuming that's what the Lord wanted them to write. A lot of that book is also based on mythology and social norms of those times, that would be outdated nowadays. You wanting me to "have a relationship with God" is one thing, but never in a billion lifetimes can I fully agree with that awful, outdated book.
 
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Michiah-Imla

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That isn't the word of the Lord, that's the word of ancient writers assuming that's what the Lord wanted them to write.

it’s really sad that men end up with an attitude like yours towards the Holy Bible.

Really really sad!
 

Cerraco

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it’s really sad that men end up with an attitude like yours towards the Holy Bible.

Really really sad!
...?

No, it's not sad at all. Why is this shocking and confusing to you? There are some verses in that book that are very comforting, but also some that are very violent, horrible and off-putting. There are also some that just don't fit within history, yet people believe those things happened.

You're acting like I'm rejecting a winning lottery ticket.
 

Wrangler

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That isn't the word of the Lord, that's the word of ancient writers assuming that's what the Lord wanted them to write. A lot of that book is also based on mythology and social norms of those times, that would be outdated nowadays. You wanting me to "have a relationship with God" is one thing, but never in a billion lifetimes can I fully agree with that awful, outdated book.

There are some verses in that book that are very comforting, but also some that are very violent, horrible and off-putting.
Hmmm. I believe this conversation is going down the wrong track.

The general pattern of conversation begins with the personal and intimate, not intellectual and objective. My church teaches that we are not believers because of what the Bible says. We are believers because we experience the supernatural in our lives. Then we read the Bible to understand more about this.

For now, the only thing that matters is your relationship with God, which is also your relationship with truth and yourself. (I honestly have no idea why God reached out to me when I was still an unbelieving sinner. Years later, I learned what happened to me is called Prevenient grace.)

CONFESSION #1: Since you are on the path of objective and intellectual, let me ask, are you happy? A valid test of any world view is it's practical affect; does it leave you happy? If not, this is a dead give away the atheist path you are on is wrong - and no intellectualizing will make it right, no amount of bashing the Bible or those who follow it will leave you happy.
 

Wrangler

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I've already read those books, and some parts left me horrified and confused.
Perhaps this is your confession #2? Do you want to talk about:
  1. the parts of a book that left you horrified and confused or
  2. do you want to talk about you and your struggle with hate - hating yourself and your atheist world view?
 

Wrangler

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I'd let a charitable and loving atheist into heaven a thousand times, and another hundred times, and another thousand times, before I remotely let a nasty Christian in there. A God who's smarter than me would probably understand that.
He might just do that. I admit there are nasty Christians. Jesus said when the time comes, he will say he never knew such folks.

One thing I will say, if you truly pray to God, a prerequisite is that you desperately and truly believe in him.
 

Wick Stick

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I was at the other Christian Forums, but they banned me because I mentioned a few things that I did not know were against the rules (I won't mention them here as to not risk anything). I am absolutely BOILING angry at them, as they picked a terrible time to do that. There's nothing like seeing someone online, and then just not responding and ghosting you.

My mind is in a panicked, lost and horrified state. I hate myself, and I'm so anxious that I'm constantly woozy. I am 35 and have not been with a woman, because I've been busy with life. I then joined the Sosuave forum, which is - for those who don't know - a super macho redpilled alpha male testosterone cold emotionless forum, but they have constant success with women. That place introduced to me how shallow and one-sided the love world is, which has proven that it may be too late for me.

Just when I get help at the other forum, they decide to ban me, and then not tell me if it's permanent or not because half the planet likes to play the "not reply" game. Seriously, who doesn't do that? Every mod at every forum loves doing that, and you can see when they were last online. I am screaming in my head right now, where is this god? Where is this "heals the broken-hearted" that he does? If he doesn't answer, I might have to escape somewhere, because I can hardly even think.
Christian forums are full of Christians arguing with other Christians, all of us trying to reconcile our beliefs. We don't always exercise a good amount of grace towards each other here in an anonymous Internet setting.

You might receive more help at an actual brick-and-mortar church. Call one up. Ask to meet with a pastor or counselor. That's my advice.
 
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Cerraco

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It is flawless.

Just not in the way you want it to be…
I wouldn't say that historically inaccurate verses, God flooding the world because he didn't like humanity but then was like "nvm it's all good now!" in the Noah's Ark story, turning someone's wife into a pillar of salt, sending bears to murder children and helping Samson kill people to pay off a bet are all "flawless" stories. I was painfully confused when you were like "Woah! No way! How could an atheist not be in love with the Bible?!" Because some of that book is based off of older mythology and not facts, and the book is also homophobic and insensitive to a lot of types of people that have done nothing wrong.
Hmmm. I believe this conversation is going down the wrong track.

The general pattern of conversation begins with the personal and intimate, not intellectual and objective. My church teaches that we are not believers because of what the Bible says. We are believers because we experience the supernatural in our lives. Then we read the Bible to understand more about this.

For now, the only thing that matters is your relationship with God, which is also your relationship with truth and yourself. (I honestly have no idea why God reached out to me when I was still an unbelieving sinner. Years later, I learned what happened to me is called Prevenient grace.)
CONFESSION #1: Since you are on the path of objective and intellectual, let me ask, are you happy? A valid test of any world view is it's practical affect; does it leave you happy? If not, this is a dead give away the atheist path you are on is wrong - and no intellectualizing will make it right, no amount of bashing the Bible or those who follow it will leave you happy.
Am I happy? Not really. But that was the case whether I was a believer in my younger years and me being atheist in my adult years. But that's just because of life itself. God or not, you still have to do deal with it whether you want to or not.
One thing I will say, if you truly pray to God, a prerequisite is that you desperately and truly believe in him.
I have no proof of him. I have called out to him many times in my life. Every problem I had, I was on my own. After that, I started to see a pattern. So... I'm just on my own and it will probably eternally stay that way.
 

Wrangler

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Am I happy? Not really. But that was the case whether I was a believer in my younger years and me being atheist in my adult years. But that's just because of life itself.
Happiness is one of the lies our fallen world tells. God's plan is much better.

Happy is routed in the word happenstance, meaning dependent on ones circumstances. The fruit of the Spirit is not happiness but joy, which is independent of circumstances.
I have no proof of him. I have called out to him many times in my life.
<Sigh> Faith is believing in the absence of proof. Human hubris wants God to reveal himself but that is knowledge, not faith.

Faith = Belief + Action

The 1st verse I quoted informs us that only when we put our ego aside and search for God with all our might, will we find him. The secret is right there in black and white.
 

Cerraco

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Faith = Belief + Action

The 1st verse I quoted informs us that only when we put our ego aside and search for God with all our might, will we find him. The secret is right there in black and white.
I actually agree with this part so much that it physically hurts a little. It's not like God is gonna come down and poke his head through the clouds just for me. If he showed himself, it might even be worse for humanity, because you never know how someone can interpret something. But in the absence of proof, the hypocrisy of many religious people, and the broken logic of the Bible (though I do agree with bits and pieces of the book/Christianity), it's really no wonder that people are atheists.

With God's infinite wisdom and love, I think he'd be smart enough to understand that. If I was God, I wouldn't punish people for all eternity just for how they think. "Not baptized? Hell. Raised Jewish? Hell. Slept with wife once before getting married? Hell. Hell hell hell hell hell hell." Doesn't sound like it makes sense.
 

Wrangler

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But in the absence of proof
There is overwhelming proof of God and I referenced 2 threads that delve into the evidence to be seen.

the hypocrisy of many religious people
You are not examining your own hypocrisy. Starting with praying to someone you claim does not exist and the double standards of what atheists belief without proof.
 
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Cerraco

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You are not examining your own hypocrisy. Starting with praying to someone you claim does not exist and the double standards of what atheists belief without proof.
I don't think I made that part clear. I'm not saying atheists are these perfect-minded people with solid arguments 100% of the time, what I'm saying is that there are plenty of nasty religious extremists out there that have even killed others just for having different beliefs. It's stuff like that that turn people off of religion even more. Religion was used to "validate" many horrific acts, including momentous events in history. Things like that ruin it for the actual good religious people.
 
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Wrangler

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I actually agree with this part so much that it physically hurts a little. It's not like God is gonna come down and poke his head through the clouds just for me.
Please consider why this is from YHWH's perspective. Some have said Earth is like a training ground, a place for testing. YHWH wants to have a relationship with his Creation but on his terms. The foundation of this relationship is faith.

So, while seeking knowledge is a good means, it is a bad ends. Original Sin is man choosing knowledge over faith, over trust in our Creator.

I appreciate you, an atheist, coming to a Christian forum for answers. In post #51 I asked what you want to talk about. We want you to replace hate for love - of yourself, us and our Creator. Replace unstable, situational unhappiness with steady joy that flows from the God's spirit.

I believe an important early step is give up control.


A person’s heart devises his own road, but Yahweh prepares his steps.
Proverbs 16:9 (REV)
 

Michiah-Imla

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historically inaccurate verses

According to who?

God flooding the world because he didn't like humanity but then was like "nvm it's all good now!"

That’s not an accurate assessment.

Read the account again…

sending bears to murder children

Children are murdering adults now because of no godly fear.

Is that a better world for you?

some of that book is based off of older mythology and not facts

What a foolish statement.

As if you were there to know this for a “fact”.

the book is also homophobic and insensitive to a lot of types of people that have done nothing wrong

“…time and chance happeneth to them all.” (Ecclesiastes 9:11)