Why would they be married but not have sex?
Matthew 1:24-25
So Joseph married Mary but didn’t have sex?
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Davy
Well-Known Member
The conception of Lord Jesus was specifically without the act of sex. That's what the Scripture states. Jesus was conceived by The Holy Spirit in Mary's womb. It does not mean Mary and Joseph once married didn't consummate their marriage. And The Gospels mention Jesus' brethren, which most likely included Jesus having literal brother siblings too.
Mark 6:1-3
6 And He went out from thence, and came into His own country; and His disciples follow Him.
2 And when the sabbath day was come, He began to teach in the synagogue: and many hearing Him were astonished, saying, "From whence hath this man these things? and what wisdom is this which is given unto Him, that even such mighty works are wrought by His hands?"
3 Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not His sisters here with us? And they were offended at Him.
KJV
Mark 6:1-3
6 And He went out from thence, and came into His own country; and His disciples follow Him.
2 And when the sabbath day was come, He began to teach in the synagogue: and many hearing Him were astonished, saying, "From whence hath this man these things? and what wisdom is this which is given unto Him, that even such mighty works are wrought by His hands?"
3 Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not His sisters here with us? And they were offended at Him.
KJV
The verse describes Joseph and Mary as being husband and wife but NOT having yet engaged in sex. That seems extraordinarily odd.
Of course, there are many mysteries in the Bible with answers that can't be known until we're with God, I guess.
Of course, there are many mysteries in the Bible with answers that can't be known until we're with God, I guess.
Thats only important for the catholic churches doctrine, which is full of "assumptions" (even of Mary). Who perpetuate "The Ever Virgin" myth.
Not to say that I do not believe in an "Ever Virgin", not at all, mine would be Jesus Christ. Because if Jesus was not married and was not a virgin, that would mean he would have sinned, and there goes our sinless savior and both Houston (and the world have a problem).
It might seem strange to think of Jesus as a virgin (or an "Ever Virgin") but men are shown as virgins
Rev 14:4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth.
Like why would Mary's virginity within her marraige mean anything to me, who am told that my body is not my own (and belongs to my husband) and his body belongs to me and we are to perform the duty of a married couple?
See what I mean? What's it to me to have such a doctrine pressed upon me as if t means anything at all.
Not to say that I do not believe in an "Ever Virgin", not at all, mine would be Jesus Christ. Because if Jesus was not married and was not a virgin, that would mean he would have sinned, and there goes our sinless savior and both Houston (and the world have a problem).
It might seem strange to think of Jesus as a virgin (or an "Ever Virgin") but men are shown as virgins
Rev 14:4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth.
Like why would Mary's virginity within her marraige mean anything to me, who am told that my body is not my own (and belongs to my husband) and his body belongs to me and we are to perform the duty of a married couple?
See what I mean? What's it to me to have such a doctrine pressed upon me as if t means anything at all.
Davy
Well-Known Member
But when commanded against by an angel sent from The LORD, not so unusual. Thus it is very probable that Joseph and Mary didn't consummate their marriage until after Jesus was born, because we know per the Mark 6:3 verse that Lord Jesus had siblings.
Perhaps I'm misunderstanding but it is my understanding that they were married and then abstained from sex. Sometime thereafter angels appeared to both Mary and then Joseph to share with them the good news. Why didn't they have sex AFTER they were married and BEFORE they were visited by angels?
ProverbsInPink
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They didn't have sex after they were married and BEFORE Jesus was born. That seems odd to me. I was only curious if anyone had any insight into why they abstained AFTER marriage even though they had NOT yet (presumably) been visited by angels.
You are correct...
But BOTH Mary and Joseph KNEW Jesus was to be the Messiah.
This is no small thing.
This is personally and directly assisting God in achieving His desires and plans.
How many people have been slaughtered over the centuries and millenia even up to today for refusing to deny the name of Jesus.
Going without sex with your lawful wife for 9 months is a nothing by comparison...
Soldiers do this on a regular basis due to deployments.
Just saying.
What would you be willing to endure/deny yourself for God?
This is not the Hurculean task that you are making it out to be.
It's not easy....I'll give you that. Because if Mary was pretty and attractive it would be difficult. And likely she was a very pretty Jewish girl....big nose, fair, olive complexion and them deep eyes with the cute uni-brow for eyebrows and of course the strong jaw line.
Then there's the whole Jewish mother whine...."Cut my heart out with a rusty spoon" and all that. Yeah....there's that.
However, Joseph was a traveling construction worker. Meaning he was not going to have a traditional marriage ceremony that included a best man standing at the doorway waiting for the bloody cloth from the consumation that would show Mary was indeed a virgin.
They got an equivalent of a Justice of the peace ceremony....very inexpensive. No pomp and ceremony....just a few words and a limited ketubah (prenuptial agreement was SOP for every wedding)
And a promise to the Priest/Judge that they would consummate at their earliest possible opportunity. (Which would be a few months later)
Jesussaves150
Member
Many christian believe in her virginity including Martin Luther himself the leader of the reformation
David Lamb
Well-Known Member
We surely all believe in her virginity until after the birth of Jesus. Roman Catholics and some others believe that she remained a virgin all her life. They say that the brothers and sisters of Jesus were either cousins, or children of Joseph from a supposed former marriage.
Davy
Well-Known Member
I don't know, why couldn't the angel of The LORD have appeared to them both on the day of their marriage? And thus they would wait to consummate the marriage after Jesus was born.
Davy
Well-Known Member
I believe what God's Word says about it, and that Christ would be born of a 'virgin' was the Old Testament prophecy in the Book of Isaiah, and that is how Jesus of Nazareth was born, of a virgin conceived by The Holy Spirit. And since The Father created all things through His Son Jesus Christ, no big deal for The Holy Spirit to cause Mary to conceive Lord Jesus in her flesh womb.
Because Joseph was planning to part ways with Mary after learning that she was pregnant, according to the scripture. An angel came to him in his sleep and apprised him of the situation and the rest is history.
Aunty Jane
Well-Known Member
What is missing here?
Mary was a virgin who was to give birth to the son of God. If she had not been a virgin when Jesus was born, that would have ruined the prophesy, since she had to be a virgin when she gave birth proving that no man was responsible for the pregnancy. In Israel, a woman had to provide proof of her virginity after consummation.
Joseph showed self control and respect for God’s arrangement, and for the woman who would be the mother of the promised Messiah.
The fact that Jesus had siblings shows that they had a normal married life after his birth.
Mary was a virgin who was to give birth to the son of God. If she had not been a virgin when Jesus was born, that would have ruined the prophesy, since she had to be a virgin when she gave birth proving that no man was responsible for the pregnancy. In Israel, a woman had to provide proof of her virginity after consummation.
Joseph showed self control and respect for God’s arrangement, and for the woman who would be the mother of the promised Messiah.
The fact that Jesus had siblings shows that they had a normal married life after his birth.
Lambano
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The narrative sequence of events was, they were engaged (presumably a contractual obligation between Mary's father and Joseph or his father) when Joseph found out Mary was pregnant (Matt. 1:18). Joseph was contemplating divorcing her quietly rather than having her stoned as an adulteress (verse 19). Joseph had a dream that the Lord told him to marry Mary (verses 20-23) They then went through whatever formalities couples the culture back then required to become officially married (verse 24).
We're not told how many months into the pregnancy Mary was when they became officially married. I wouldn't know from experience, but I'm told that intercourse can be very uncomfortable for a woman in the later stages of pregnancy. (Everything is uncomfortable for a woman in the later stages of pregnancy, if my granddaughter's recent experience is typical.) And then there are the hormone issues. (Maybe the ladies can chime in here?) It doesn't strike me as odd at all that they would refrain until after the baby was born.
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This is the internet....
Sex is used to sell everything and the published belief that everyone has tons of sex all the time and with as many partners as possible.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Most people are fairly reserved...we do not actually engage in "hookup" culture despite the hype. Most people have at maximum 2-4 partners in their lifetime on average.....there's a few people who have double or triple digit numbers which skew the average.
But most people are not very promiscuous despite how much its discussed. Physical intimacy is rare despite the hype.
We didn't get to non sustainable reproductive rates by birth control alone.
For MOST people physical intimacy is extremely scary and emotionally draining. People do not enjoy being that vulnerable with another person even if you have been married for decades...much less an almost complete stranger.
The risks of fatal attraction, false accusations even decades later, disease transmission, financial/identity theft, or even pregnancy are too much as well as all too real to allow an acquaintance you do not really know access to your entire life....and of course if you engaged in physical intimacy they will feel as if they have license to access your entire life, your family, friends, coworkers, and etc.
So.....we dont do these things. We dont take risks like that. Even when licensed.
Lambano
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Are you saying that Joseph and Mary may have had some trust issues in their marriage right from the get-go that spilled over into their sex life?
Joseph: "Can I believe her when she says she wasn't unfaithful? Can I marry her for a lifetime based on some weird dream about talking to G_d, or did I just put too much pepper on my falafel that night? Will she remain faithful after we're married? Am I being played for a fool?"
Mary: "He doesn't believe me. He was going to "quietly" abandon me. Will he be there for me when I need him?"
The narrative doesn't say that was what was going through their minds, but human nature being what it is...
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