Wife, Serve Your Husband

[Wynona]

I can testify that I know how to be selfish and hated serving in the past. I thought service was just a people-pleasing way of being manipulated.

When one Christian woman spoke about serving her husband in so many small ways, I said I just wasn't suited for that.

Since then, I've changed and allowed God to convict my heart of its selfishness through these verses:

Mark 10:43-45
King James Version
43 But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister:
44 And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.
45 For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.


Acts 20:35
King James Version
35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

More than communication, date nights, or seminars, selflessness is the key to a good marriage. When you aim to just get what you want and need in a marriage, the relationship suffers.


Selflessness means humbling yourself and being cheerful with your duties. Its aiming to make your husband's life easier and doing the things he likes.

When I focused on myself, I was miserable. It is way more fulfilling to go ahead and forget about yourself and serve your husband. To make a home sweet and wonderful to come back to. To fix meals and delight him in bed rather than deprive him. To be his peace by practicing contentment even when you don't get what you want. To keep things tidy. To wear what he likes and stay in shape for him. To be his crown that distinguishes him and gives him honor.

If you think that you'll be taken advantage of, keep an open mind. Your husband will likely be motivated to cherish you instead.

 

[rwb]

I can testify that I know how to be selfish and hated serving in the past. I thought service was just a people-pleasing way of being manipulated.

When one Christian woman spoke about serving her husband in so many small ways, I said I just wasn't suited for that.

Since then, I've changed and allowed God to convict my heart of its selfishness through these verses:

Mark 10:43-45
King James Version
43 But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister:
44 And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.
45 For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.


Acts 20:35
King James Version
35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

More than communication, date nights, or seminars, selflessness is the key to a good marriage. When you aim to just get what you want and need in a marriage, the relationship suffers.


Selflessness means humbling yourself and being cheerful with your duties. Its aiming to make your husband's life easier and doing the things he likes.

When I focused on myself, I was miserable. It is way more fulfilling to go ahead and forget about yourself and serve your husband. To make a home sweet and wonderful to come back to. To fix meals and delight him in bed rather than deprive him. To be his peace by practicing contentment even when you don't get what you want. To keep things tidy. To wear what he likes and stay in shape for him. To be his crown that distinguishes him and gives him honor.

If you think that you'll be taken advantage of, keep an open mind. Your husband will likely be motivated to cherish you instead.

Yes, and it's much easier for a husband to love his wife as Christ loves His Church when the wife displays such selflessness. How could he not love her! What a lovely witness of love for your husband you demonstrate in your post! Many blessings rwb

 

[Wynona]

Yes, and it's much easier for a husband to love his wife as Christ loves His Church when the wife displays such selflessness. How could he not love her! What a lovely witness of love for your husband you demonstrate in your post! Many blessings rwb

Thank you! Its been so great to watch my husband grow as I grew. Blessings back!

 

[ScottA]

I can testify that I know how to be selfish and hated serving in the past. I thought service was just a people-pleasing way of being manipulated.

When one Christian woman spoke about serving her husband in so many small ways, I said I just wasn't suited for that.

Since then, I've changed and allowed God to convict my heart of its selfishness through these verses:

Mark 10:43-45
King James Version
43 But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister:
44 And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.
45 For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.


Acts 20:35
King James Version
35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

More than communication, date nights, or seminars, selflessness is the key to a good marriage. When you aim to just get what you want and need in a marriage, the relationship suffers.


Selflessness means humbling yourself and being cheerful with your duties. Its aiming to make your husband's life easier and doing the things he likes.

When I focused on myself, I was miserable. It is way more fulfilling to go ahead and forget about yourself and serve your husband. To make a home sweet and wonderful to come back to. To fix meals and delight him in bed rather than deprive him. To be his peace by practicing contentment even when you don't get what you want. To keep things tidy. To wear what he likes and stay in shape for him. To be his crown that distinguishes him and gives him honor.

If you think that you'll be taken advantage of, keep an open mind. Your husband will likely be motivated to cherish you instead.

Well said--and appreciated!

I couldn't just "Like" this without saying something: It is by this kind of biblical behavior that God first gives us a little to see if we are of the right mind to give us all the more. Likewise, the same is true for men serving and loving their wives. Both roles in marriage are an opportunity for us and for God to know we are up to serving and loving Him in that greater relationship and marriage we have with Him. If we fail in the smaller marital relationship, we are also likely to fail in our greater relationship with God. Thus, making the marriage between a man and a women a showing of good works, evidence of what we are made of--what's inside at our core, that will carry on into the greater things God has for us. It's a gift--like something sweet in our stocking to enjoy before we open our greater gifts

 

[Wynona]

we fail in the smaller marital relationship, we are also likely to fail in our greater relationship with God. Thus, making the marriage between a man and a women a showing of good works, evidence of what we are made of--what's inside at our core, that will carry on into the greater things God has for us. It's gift--like something sweet in our stocking to enjoy before we open our greater gifts

If I can not love and respect my husband who I can see, I won't succeed in loving God who is unseen. I love this insight. Thank you!

 

[Wynona]

Practical ways a wife can serve her husband:

1. The three day rule. If you haven't initiated intimacy in the last two days, make it a point to do this on the third. Dont approach it like a chore. Have fun with it.

2. Refill water bottle/have drink ready.

3. Lay out his work clothes for him the night before.

4. Fix him food.

5. Serve his plate first.

6. Ask him what he likes you to wear and wear it.

7. Wear your "going out" look at home for your husband.

8. Smile at him more.

9. If he likes this, put a hand on his leg or shoulder just because.

10. Pay attention when he talks to you. Don't interrupt.

11. Try to only ask for help when you really need it.

 

[Taken]

Wife, Serve Your Husband

Yes. And in brief…the manner of service is the same as she serves the Lord and the husband serves the Lord.

( Not to be confused with a personal 24-7 maid!! )

 

[Wynona]

Wife, Serve Your Husband

Yes. And in brief…the manner of service is the same as she serves the Lord and the husband serves the Lord.

( Not to be confused with a personal 24-7 maid!! )

If you mean, not picking up after your husband at home...I think its good to do that too.

Let's say my husband gets ready for work and leaves his socks on the floor. I could make this an issue and try to remind him often not to do this...

or I can pick them up. There are so many things my husband does for me without scorekeeping that I dont mind picking up after him. It makes things more peaceful to let him relax and let the little stuff go.

 

[Wynona]

 

[Taken]

If you mean, not picking up after your husband at home...I think its good to do that too.

Let's say my husband gets ready for work and leaves his socks on the floor. I could make this an issue and try to remind him often not to do this...

or I can pick them up. There are so many things my husband does for me without scorekeeping that I dont mind picking up after him. It makes things more peaceful to let him relax and let the little stuff go.

Let’s face it…men are “wired” different than women. (lol).
* Tidy to a woman, is every thing has a place and everything is in its place.
{ Untidy is dusty, dirty and anything out of place. )
* Tidy to men, is every thing they want at any moment, is “magically” tidy and at their fingertips.
( Untidy is having clutter with no floor space to walk, overload of dirty clothes that “stink”, gnats, flies, mice, ants, etc. that have taken up residence / paralleled to “unsanitary”.

Women have the “secret job” to know at all times where every item in the home “is”.
Men have the “secret job” to Not know at all times where Every item in the home is…and “looking for This”, means he had “not time” to do That”.

It’s a lifelong delicate balance of compromise, for the woman to not sweat the small stuff, and not take on the role of the husbands mama or personal maid.

(Scripturally speaking…men raised the food, supplied the food, cooked the food, ( women baked) and women tended order of the home, (women sewed, tended the clothing) tended needs of the children, had a handmaiden, and both parents taught their children, behaviors, skills, in the ways of the Lord, and children “unleashed out into society” among strangers After, being taught the Ways, Truth of the Lord.)

It’s the “imbalance” between man and woman (husband, wife and children) that can get “haywire and frustrating”.
The modern phenomena …
The absent fathers, (not living in the home), or gone 8-12 hours a day, ( some mothers too ), children “raised” by strangers in (“daycares, schools”. )

Agree, “not a score card”… rather
Key…Delicate Balance.

“charity” is a helping hand.
The concept, per Gen 2:18…woman helper to the man.
The concept, per 1 Tim 5:8…whole household is helper to the family first…
IS Gods “order and way”.

God bless you.


Glory to God,
Taken

 

[Jay Ross]

Wife, serve your husband.

Wives will need a carving knife and fork to "serve" their husbands. It is a good thing that I am not hungry at the moment.

 

[Lambano]

Wife, serve your husband.

Wives will need a carving knife and fork to "serve" their husbands. I is a good thing that I am not hungry at the moment.

Ahh. “To Serve Man” - the cookbook.

 

[Wynona]

Im quoting a homeschool Mama's YouTube video because I love her take:

"Women don't burn out because they say yes too much. They burn out because of how they view the yeses.

Mother Teresa gave constantly and was very joyful. But if the yeses are held with expectation to be paid back or resentment, women burn out from that. If it is a gift and offering to God, than she gives happily."

When doing what God wants of you, you can depend on God to refill your cup when you need it.

 

[Wynona]

One thing I wish I had understood earlier is that marriage is a one flesh union. The two become one. The man leads, the woman supports and follows. The vision is a shared vision from God, not the woman's vision vs the man's or the woman's interest over ot competing with the man's.

The woman is a helpmate and a companion. The man's interests becomes her interests. They live that out together and as he advances, so does she.

 

[Wynona]

"Making his lunch or laying out his work clothes...what exactly will that do?"
The small conveniences add up. When a wife chooses to serve her husband, he is freed up to be more productive at work and in general. One woman had her mother come in and watch the children, take care of meals, and clean so she could focus on writing. She wrote three times more words. Now imagine that increased productivity from support over a lifetime.

 

[other one]

We are instructed, as I understand it, not to marry outside our faith. Think about how a husband should treat his wife.... as Jesus did the Church. So husband, are you willing to let a dozen or so guys beat you half to death and hang you on a tree to die for the best interests of your wife? What woman would not happily submit to a man of that nature that did most everything in her interest.

I think the secret of being able to happily do as we are instructed is to pick someone of the Christian Faith (and understands it) I would say though that there are many who profess to be born again that don't show the fruits of it. So don't marry in a hurry unless God tells you to.

 

[HealthyShape]

"Making his lunch or laying out his work clothes...what exactly will that do?"
The small conveniences add up. When a wife chooses to serve her husband, he is freed up to be more productive at work and in general. One woman had her mother come in and watch the children, take care of meals, and clean so she could focus on writing. She wrote three times more words. Now imagine that increased productivity from support over a lifetime.

How is working more hours and being "more productive" instead of for example cooking, better for men, for their mental and physical health?

I think there is some fundamental flaw in your mindset - "making the man work as much as possible" is not automatically a good thing. Working a bit, cleaning a bit, cooking a bit, playing a bit is actually much more balanced life.

Yes, hypothetically, men can work from the morning to the evening, then eat a prepared dinner, go to sleep, take clean clothes in the morning and go to work again. Very productive. But what kind of life is that?

 

[Wynona]

How is working more hours and being "more productive" instead of for example cooking, better for men, for their mental and physical health?

I think there is some fundamental flaw in your mindset - "making the man work as much as possible" is not automatically a good thing. Working a bit, cleaning a bit, cooking a bit, playing a bit is actually much more balanced life.

Yes, hypothetically, men can work from the morning to the evening, then eat a prepared dinner, go to sleep, take clean clothes in the morning and go to work again. Very productive. But what kind of life is that?

It has become very hard to sustain a family in modern times. Delegating roles has helped my husband to do that even in this economy. He finds way more fulfillment in paying bills than I ever did when I was working.

He can cook, clean, and take care of babies at anytime and often does to help me. But the requirements of his labor intensive job would simply not be met very well if he had to come home and manage a household too.

No, he would not work as hard if he were by himself but he has traded an easier life for one he says has a deep sense of purpose.

 

[Wynona]

Our own marriage began as an "equal partnership" where we both worked and contributed to household chores.

One day, my husband asked me to quit working despite only making 22,000 a year at the time.

This was his intentional step into patriarchy. It was as God intended. I no longer had any say in the finances but I felt nothing but relief. He said this was now his problem

1 Corinthians 11:3
King James Version
3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.


I am not the head of our marriage. I support my husband's calling and ministry. Being a support has not diminished me. Rather, I have purpose knowing that God called me to be a helpmate and a keeper at home as Titus 2 prescribes.


Titus 2:3-5

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.


Here are some ways abandoning egalitarianism has improved our lives.

- We argued a lot when I still worked. Once I took on the housewife role, we stopped arguing because there was no longer any confusion over who was doing what. It became my husband's role to provide, protect, and lead. It became my role to support, keep the home, and follow.

- We fit as a one flesh union pulling in the same direction now. If my husband is the head, Im like the body.

- Accomplishing more with less time. We each have generational curses to conquer and addictions to break. By pulling together, we've made major headway in this.

- A sense of fulfillment
My husband says his life could be easier but he feels purpose and fulfillment in being a patriarch and making my life easier. And now again with our little ones.

- We both increased in confidence but especially my husband who knows he is respected, even reverenced, at home.

- You reap what you sow. The more we pour into each other's lives, the greater satisfaction we feel. We've become givers rather than takers.

- I believe we make more money now than we would have egalitarian. My husband is incentivized to work hard. We save money on eating and day care, no second vehicle, etc.

- My husband sees his duty as not only to provide but see to the spiritual and emotional wellbeing of me and the kids. He is not a distant husband or father. He cultivates us.

 

[HealthyShape]

In history, both men and women worked and even children from young age. There were some periods in which middle class women did not work, but this was made possible by specific economic conditions (slavery in the 18th/19th century or the post-war prosperity in the 20th century).

There is no "deep purpose" in hard working so that others can stay at home and play all day, for the exchange of "prepared food and clothes".

It also reminds me the behavior in beehives or ant nests, in which male worker ants labor for the queen so that she can reproduce. Why should this be the ideal state of human affairs? Also, this hardly qualifies as biblical patriarchy.

In modern societies, the goal should not be "one gender provides for another gender", but thanks to automation/AI, both genders should work less and less, both at home and outside home.