Oh my friend in the Lord alone I am comfortable. He is my place of rest as Jesus said it...
"Come unto me...and I will give you rest"
But this place, this forum is no place of rest. This is one of the battlegrounds. Better than the offline world of men? Hmmm? At age 77 myself with an extremely vulnerable wife who has almost no immune system I avoid most of those places offline... simply staying home and caring for her needs. I used to teach and preach in a church setting but when carnal men removed my old pastor, God called me out of there as well, a good while before Covid-19.
The Lord won't let me quit this place and others similar even though at times my flesh yearns to do so. Each day I must come back because He still has work for me. No retirement or vacations from God. I am not really complaining because there is no place I would rather be than busy at the Lord's work... but what is His work for me?
Talk about at times walking into hell? Have you ever seen yourself as a hell maker when you thought you were serving God? You don't have to answer that. When you misunderstood me and refused to back off consider what my flesh was going through. Could you picture yourself in my shoes? God and Elijah? God told Elijah to get away from that way of thinking!
So here and elsewhere on the Internet [also off it seems] many want confrontations. If need be and God is in it, so am I, but my flesh is tired and my flesh is still asserting itself. God is in control, but at times I make it difficult.
I am 73 years old, so I am a young guy compared to you. When I moved cities a year ago, I left all my friends and contacts, and came to place where I had no contacts, or even a church to go to. I asked the Lord to guide me into what He had for me here, and I was directed to a small Union church (Methodist/Presbyterian) with six old ladies and one gentleman in it. I was puzzled why I was led to such a church where there seemed to be no prospects for serving the Lord effectively. He told me, "It is more about what you can put into a church than what you can get out of it. That church needs someone like you to teach them the Bible." After a year, I am on the management committee, conduct services and preach once a month, and am the backup pianist when the normal one is away. Before I joined that church, although I could play the piano for myself, I had no confidence to play for a church congregation. Because of the total support I got from the others when I first tried to play a hymn that I knew, I was greatly encouraged and I got over the "hump" to be able to play in the services. In my previous church I nearly got there, but two people criticised me and their criticism destroyed any confidence I had and I didn't think I would ever be able to play the piano in church services. But it took six old ladies and a Methodist minister to enable me to play, and being able to play in services is a major achievement for me.
So, I an encouraged that there is still miles on the clock for me and that God has created a ministry for me in the most unlikely place. God has never stopped creating since he created the world. He is always creating a future for us, and He is quite able to create wonderful things out of nothing, and open doors for us that are not there!
So, maybe you could think outside the square and ask the Lord to guide you to a church that you would make a meaningful contribution. It may be in a totally different denomination that you are used to. I have a Pentecostal background, but over the years the Lord has led me to Anglican, Baptist and Presbyterian churches where doors of contribution have always opened for me, and no one has rejected me because of my background. I never thought that I would end up in a small church with six old ladies, and that I increased the male membership by 100%! If you start thinking outside of the square, you may see that there are churches in your area that are crying out for manpower, and that your gifts may be totally welcome. It may be only denominational prejudice that may prevent many from going through doors that God has designed for them. My Union church has many liberal elements to it and I have to pick the meat from the bones, but when I preach, I don't compromise, but preach the Bible, and my ministry is being welcomed. This is the Holy Spirit and God's grace at work for those valuable people.