some questions

[TLHKAJ]

one of the worst times for me was after a chapel service and this man who preached at us said to me "there is something wrong wtih you i will be praying for you" his voice sounded shaky like i was evil or something.

Yeah... totally not right there. If he sensed from the Lord that something was wrong, he would have worded that completely different. Intercessory prayer would have been more appropriate. His words ("something is wrong with you") sounded more condemning.

Early on in our days at the (cult) church, the pastor told my husband a load of stuff that he knew about me, supposedly from the Lord. My husband would never tell me what he said, but supposedly he knew things about my history, from my childhood, etc. If the Lord actually told him things about me, it would have been used for insight in how to pray, how to counsel me, etc. But all I ever received there was condemnation, guilt, shame, oppression, control, fear .... you get the picture. Our pastor was a handler for the cult. That's how he knew things about my history.

 

[lilygrace]

Yeah... totally not right there. If he sensed from the Lord that something was wrong, he would have worded that completely different. Intercessory prayer would have been more appropriate. His words ("something is wrong with you") sounded more condemning.

Early on in our days at the (cult) church, the pastor told my husband a load of stuff that he knew about me, supposedly from the Lord. My husband would never tell me what he said, but supposedly he knew things about my history, from my childhood, etc. If the Lord actually told him things about me, it would have been used for insight in how to pray, how to counsel me, etc. But all I ever received there was condemnation, guilt, shame, oppression, control, fear .... you get the picture. Our pastor was a handler for the cult. That's how he knew things about my history.

sounds ddangerous. were other poeple attending non cult who thought he just had charisma?

 

[lilygrace]

Honestly, he probably says that to just about everyone, had it had little to do with you specifically at all.

im the only woman he said it to. if he visited the place before maybe he said it to anoter woman that might have been similar to me ? i do not knw. thank you. that is kind of encouraging in a weird way.
yes i want to not sin. we all dont want to hear our sin but theres some weird stuff that happens.

 

[Jane_Doe22]

im the only woman he said it to. if he visited the place before maybe he said it to anoter woman that might have been similar to me ? i do not knw. thank you. that is kind of encouraging in a weird way.
yes i want to not sin. we all dont want to hear our sin but theres some weird stuff that happens.

Honesty this pastor dude you're describing just sounds like a weirdo who's probably best to just move past.

 

[TLHKAJ]

sounds ddangerous. were other poeple attending non cult who thought he just had charisma?

Every church member was handled by him, his copastor son, and those deemed as "elders." Some had been there for decades. There were maybe 150 members. Most lived on the property owned by the pastor. He had/as a radio station, copier repair shop, computer repair shop, construction company, oil lube shop, auto mechanics shop, half owner of a Sonic Drive-in, and an A&W restaurant.... and he founded the local "volunteer" fire department (most "volunteers" were/are church members). He owns a lot of land in 3 towns, lots of homes (some just one room living spaces or campers, buses, trailers) where "full time Bible students" live. They get up early ...meet together for prayer (indoctrination, etc), and work in one the various businesses or on the farm. Singles would get $50/week plus a place to live. Families, $100 ....if you were privileged or had more children, you might get $150.

Most of the time it was just members there. Everyone had the same indoctrination and control. And when other churches came to visit, they were longtime acquaintances/friends of the pastor. So they were of the same mindset. If anyone visited, their perception of him was that he was a great man of God, an "apostle", etc. He was very much lifted up, revered and feared. Anyone looking in from the outside said we had "unity" and hospitality like none else. But living on the inside, it was oppressive and .... not good. It was a very very closed and controlled environment.

 

[Wrangler]

If you subscribe to equality, Genesis 2:24 should be informative.

 

[lilygrace]

Every church member was handled by him, his copastor son, and those deemed as "elders." Some had been there for decades. There were maybe 150 members. Most lived on the property owned by the pastor. He had/as a radio station, copier repair shop, computer repair shop, construction company, oil lube shop, auto mechanics shop, half owner of a Sonic Drive-in, and an A&W restaurant.... and he founded the local "volunteer" fire department (most "volunteers" were/are church members). He owns a lot of land in 3 towns, lots of homes (some just one room living spaces or campers, buses, trailers) where "full time Bible students" live. They get up early ...meet together for prayer (indoctrination, etc), and work in one the various businesses or on the farm. Singles would get $50/week plus a place to live. Families, $100 ....if you were privileged or had more children, you might get $150.

Most of the time it was just members there. Everyone had the same indoctrination and control. And when other churches came to visit, they were longtime acquaintances/friends of the pastor. So they were of the same mindset. If anyone visited, their perception of him was that he was a great man of God, an "apostle", etc. He was very much lifted up, revered and feared. Anyone looking in from the outside said we had "unity" and hospitality like none else. But living on the inside, it was oppressive and .... not good. It was a very very closed and controlled environment.

Wow and most people expect pastors to live poor and humbly still.

 

[lilygrace]

If you subscribe to equality, Genesis 2:24 should be informative.

I am confused to how this might apply. What were you considering? Thank you.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Wow and most people expect pastors to live poor and humbly still.

His house was pretty humble by worldly standards, but he had/has a regular house unlike most members. He was allowed to have a television, a washer and dryer, central air and heat, a telephone.... not so with most of the rest of the membership. We had to walk down the hill with our laundry, toddlers in tow, and do laundry in a wash.house behind his house, and we couldn't use the dryers if it was a sunny day. We had to hang the clothes out (behind his house with everyone else's laundry). If it happened to pop up a rain storm and we couldn't make it down to get our clothes off the line before they were soaked ....tough. LOL
(Not the end of the world, but it was just an example of the amount of control.) I had a one yr old and was pregnant with another. After my baby was born, I had to try and time things between baby naps.

And we lived in an old 10x50 metal trailer ...a "silver bullet." We had no shade trees and it would get upwards of 120 degrees in there.... and not allowed to have an air conditioner. From the pulpit, the pastor said (to my husband in front of everyone) .... "Poor, Bro ______ ...his wife is not content with such things as she has. She was spoiled to central air and heat. She's backwards and ungrateful..." Okay ....we were paying $85/week plus tithes and offerings ....because my husband was one of very few who had an "outside job." And I also worked in the gardens and kitchen with the other women. But expecting a pregnant woman who also was nursing her babies, to live in 120 degrees and be excited about it, was unreasonable.

All the rules and unreasonable expectations served to keep us suppressed, subdued, more easily controlled.

 

[Wrangler]

I am confused to how this might apply. What were you considering? Thank you.

I'm sorry for the confusion. I was responding to this post.

a lot of women in church believe a woman should stay with her parents for protection until she gets married....
but what if.....? fill in the blank i guess....

"Should" is an ideal. The Bible is a good source of ideals.

Me and my mother grew up in a 3 generation household. I grew up in my father's father's house. She grew up in her mother's parents house. So, in my experience, even getting married did not cause a move to another residence. This led to very close family relationships, which I think have been lost today and I recommend it.

It is not just a woman thing. Now that my wife and I are older, we could use help from our children and grandchildren. That's a fact. More though is we yearn to be with them regularly, living life together - even if we do not all live together. So, while the post in question looks at it from the child's perspective, I am blessed to be able to look at it from the parents perspective. Hope this helps.

 

[lilygrace]

Yet many ladies i know have their own place. I guess it depends. But i also know one who is content to live with her parents.
I'd be concerned if they shamed women for having their own place.

 

[Wrangler]

Yet many ladies i know have their own place. I guess it depends. But i also know one who is content to live with her parents.
I'd be concerned if they shamed women for having their own place.

What is the concern and why the focus on women? Is the Bible silent on taking care of ones parents and under what conditions to leave them?

 

[lilygrace]

because if you havent guessed i am a woman. i just feel like you want to put an abundance of scripture
i do know men who stayed with their parents until they could get their own places. and some men who stay in their parents house cos their irresponsible.
am i a man? no. so why should i be concerned about what men do until i marry one....

 

[lilygrace]

also this thread has a few topics in it....lol. not just parents and adult children.

 

[TLHKAJ]

What is the concern and why the focus on women? Is the Bible silent on taking care of ones parents and under what conditions to leave them?

This thread isn't about taking care of one's parents. What she is talking about is that if a woman wants to have her own home and is able to do so, she shouldn't be discouraged from doing so. Sometimes, living with one's parents isn't ideal. Every situation is not the same.

 

[lilygrace]

What is the concern and why the focus on women? Is the Bible silent on taking care of ones parents and under what conditions to leave them?

are you taking care of your parents?

 

[TLHKAJ]

If you subscribe to equality, Genesis 2:24 should be informative.

This is off topic.

 

[DuckieLady]

here is an example
person 1 : " i am hoping to get a full time job to move out. i really need my own place"
person 2: " God might want you to be content. the grass isnt always greener on the other side"
person 3: " at least you have support living with other people. me? i have to pay bills alone"
person 3 :" dear God help this person to find a place to live and be able to move out or if they know to stay home"

to be fair. not knowing details if the person is afraid to say more it isnt fair to judge the persons 2 and 3 but why are persons 2 and 3 assuming that the person is discontent?
also, with poeple leaving abusive relationships some people might tell them after separation to forgive and try to mend the relationship. they say God can restore the family or relationship.

I believe that we have to forgive people, even those who were abusive, but I don't understand why people always want to "restore" things. I think it's kind of a cop-out, to be honest. They tend to not want to listen when you know the situation better. Other times, people think they're doing you a favor but usually they're not. We can't always tell people the whole story so they have a distorted view and draw up their own conclusions.

There are times in my life where I wish people had listened to me more and I felt more abandoned and left to suffer. There were a lot of times where I was abused for prolonged periods of time, partially as a result of lack of support or emotional abandonment, and it made what I believe was PTSD evolve into C-PTSD due to years of extended psychological trauma, which just made it more difficult because then you're REALLY stuck because you can't function like a normal adult. So you WANT to get out of those situations as soon as you can.

Sometimes help is not so helpful, which is why sometimes the only one we can depend on in Christ alone and pray for him to send the right people in our lives that we can trust and rely on to be there.


I don't understand the grass is greener thing. Only God knows the truth sometimes and why people won't just pray and trust him regardless of their perspective doesn't make sense to me. "Thy will be done" is enough, IMO.

 

[Ronald Nolette]

is anointing ok to do?
is it possible to cast out spirits from the house?
how do you tell if another christian is correct in an issue when someone can say God thinks they should do this or that.
what afflictions does God want us to suffer in? have you ever felt uncomfortable being prayed for when someone is praying about your situation differently?

Well casting out spirits is much overblown today! If we are to trust the televangelists, there are more possessions and oppressions in America alone than in all of human history prior to the 20 th century. Even when Jesus walked the earth and the demons were most active!

If a Christian is correct by the Word then they are correct. If it is a"discernment" then if it comes to pass, they are correct.

We pray for healing of all our afflictions. But we must remember we live in a fallen world of sin and death and physical afflictions are a normal part of living here. God never promised to keep us disease and injury free.

 

[Wrangler]

because if you havent guessed i am a woman. i just feel like you want to put an abundance of scripture

I quoted one verse, Genesis 2:24. That's an abundance? Even if so, what is wrong with that?

i do know men who stayed with their parents until they could get their own places. and some men who stay in their parents house cos their irresponsible.
am i a man? no. so why should i be concerned about what men do until i marry one....

Again, I'm not sure why this is a sexist thing.

This thread isn't about taking care of one's parents. What she is talking about is that if a woman wants to have her own home and is able to do so, she shouldn't be discouraged from doing so. Sometimes, living with one's parents isn't ideal. Every situation is not the same.

Seems like there are different conversations going on here. I was talking about the ideal. Is there anything that a women should be discouraged from doing - even if she can and even if she wants to? Or is that restriction just on men?

are you taking care of your parents?

No. They passed away some time ago. When I got out of college, I got a job in a different time zone. It was hard on us all, especially my grandfather. Before that, my parents were prideful and did not want help. As my mother became more frail, she finally accepted help and accommodation.

This is off topic.

No. It's on topic as I was responding to this post.

a lot of women in church believe a woman should stay with her parents for protection until she gets married....
but what if.....? fill in the blank i guess....

Perhaps, it's the 'protection' part that rubs modern women the wrong way. Protection is a good thing but my thoughts turned to Genesis 2:24. When my stepson, who was living with his father, returned to live with us as an adult, we were very happy about it. He helped me do some stuff around the house and my doting wife loved spending more time with her son.

We were both said when he moved out. He's since joined the Navy. She does not want him around to 'protect' him. She loves him and wants to spend time with him. There probably is no ideal situation, so the Bible is just a theoretical reference, having no practical application, right? No one should be discouraged from doing anything (if they want to and are able), especially women, right?