Is Marriage Worth It?

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Wynona

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Above is a debate on whether marriage is worth it in modern times by Andrew Wilson and Coach Greg Adam's.

Men have been reporting that marriage is no longer worth getting into because of the perverse incentive for women to divorce from the legal system, and the modern cultural values that push women to simply leave if unhappy.

The three hour time is a lot but it's really interesting.

If you don't watch it, you can still comment on marriage and whether its worth it or not.
 
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PinSeeker

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Marriage is a covenant... between God and husband and wife. In a Christian marriage, it is a calling from God. Husband and wife are called to be "one flesh," as Paul puts it in Ephesians 5, and in that way share an intimacy and a oneness that is likened to the same relationship ~ on a lesser level, of course ~ as Jesus has with His Church, all of us believers. Now, with that in view, if God calls you to do something, is it worth doing it? <smile> I would submit that the real problem is that most people have far, far, far too low a view of marriage.

Grace and peace to all.
 
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Scott Downey

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Sitting here at 66 and married since 1981 to the same woman, yes worth it. But it is not all smooth sailing.
And in heaven there is no marriage, and there is no marriage in the resurrection either
 
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Wynona

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I credit marriage to making me way better as a person than I was. To make things work, I had to invest fully, mature, and learn my biblical role. I am so grateful.

That being said, marriage is not for everybody anymore as people are not being taught the values that make a marriage work and are often unwilling to learn.
 

PinSeeker

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I credit marriage to making me way better as a person than I was. To make things work, I had to invest fully, mature, and learn my biblical role. I am so grateful.
God grows us toward holiness through a lot of different means, and one is marriage. This is part of what Paul is saying in 1 Corinthians 7:14... "the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband." And in Ephesians 5:31-32, "...'a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church..."

That being said, marriage is not for everybody anymore as people are not being taught the values that make a marriage work and are often unwilling to learn.
Well, not all are called into marriage by God. Some ~ as Paul was ~ are called to remain single. And there is such thing as a biblical divorce, adultery and abandonment being the two biblically valid reasons. Abandonment can take several different forms; I would submit that this "unwillingness to learn" might possibly rise to the level of abandonment but might really be used as a cop-out...

Grace and peace to you, Wynona!
 

Windmill Charge

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Men have been reporting that marriage is no longer worth getting into because of the perverse incentive for women to divorce from the legal system, and the modern cultural values that push women to simply leave if unhappy

May I suggest checking out the blog wintery Knight and using sear h to look up his many posts about marriage.
Link to one:-

Is marriage worthy it?
The stats clearly show that the best place to raise children is within a marriage, that both men and women do better in a marriage and tht 5he worst, most dangerous place to raise children is in a singl5 pare t family.

How does one find a marriage partner?
The old fashion way. One courts the prospective partner, with clear limits to behaviour.
No sex before marriage.
If that is expected prepare to abandon that person.
Total honesty between couples.
Both are committed to church service and both have a high theological know.edge and the ability to apply it to daily life.

If someone Christian faith is not based on reasoning, then their decisions in life will not be based on reasoning but on the fee,ings/emotions of that moment and any commitment they make will not last.
 
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HealthyShape

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For some people, marriage is worth it, because they gain something in it.

For many people, marriage is not worth it, because they lose more than they gain from it.

My personal guess based upon stats etc. is that it was worth it for like 30% of marriages and even then it will probably differ for men and women in those marriages.
 
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Wynona

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May I suggest checking out the blog wintery Knight and using sear h to look up his many posts about marriage.
Link to one:-

Is marriage worthy it?
The stats clearly show that the best place to raise children is within a marriage, that both men and women do better in a marriage and tht 5he worst, most dangerous place to raise children is in a singl5 pare t family.

How does one find a marriage partner?
The old fashion way. One courts the prospective partner, with clear limits to behaviour.
No sex before marriage.
If that is expected prepare to abandon that person.
Total honesty between couples.
Both are committed to church service and both have a high theological know.edge and the ability to apply it to daily life.

If someone Christian faith is not based on reasoning, then their decisions in life will not be based on reasoning but on the fee,ings/emotions of that moment and any commitment they make will not last.
My husband is similar to winteryknight's view of chivalry. It can get a man in huge trouble in today's society. And I like how he pointed out that Christian leaders cower before women instead of confronting them.
 
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Windmill Charge

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For some people, marriage is worth it, because they gain something in it.

For many people, marriage is not worth it, because they lose more than they gain from it.

My personal guess based upon stats etc. is that it was worth it for like 30% of marriages and even then it will probably differ for men and women in those marriages.
Please look again at the stats and also look at the cost to children of the damage broken marriages incurs.

Many people claim children are important! yet show they are lieing by how they harm them through broken marriages.
 
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HealthyShape

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Please look again at the stats and also look at the cost to children of the damage broken marriages incurs.

Many people claim children are important! yet show they are lieing by how they harm them through broken marriages.
You look at the stats and come up with your own estimate, if you wish.

About half of marriages end in divorce and about half of those that don't, admit adultery or other similar serious problems, staying together just because of children, because of church etc. So, my personal guess is that just 25%-30% of marriages are actually "happy", more or less.

And even the marriages one would call "happy", "good", or "OK" - nobody can say those people would not be also happy or "OK" when unmarried, they would just live a different lifestyle. That different lifestyle could be also happy or "fine", it all depends on one's ability to be flexible and to change their mindset.

Is marriage worth it for bringing up children, for communal society? Yes. But that is a different topic.
 
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soberxp

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Is Marriage Worth It?
After I studied the Bible, my understanding is that marriage was established to enable one to learn a great deal about God. For the purpose of learning about God and life,Marriage Worth It.

But if human change it for wealth, it's not worth anymore.
 

Lambano

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In my more cynical moments, I have to ask why anybody should get married. Why don't we just let the human race die out? That "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it" command (Genesis 1:28) has led to nothing but heartbreak and suffering and a bunch of lost souls.

Anybody got some anti-depressants?
 
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JohnDB

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Above is a debate on whether marriage is worth it in modern times by Andrew Wilson and Coach Greg Adam's.

Men have been reporting that marriage is no longer worth getting into because of the perverse incentive for women to divorce from the legal system, and the modern cultural values that push women to simply leave if unhappy.

The three hour time is a lot but it's really interesting.

If you don't watch it, you can still comment on marriage and whether its worth it or not.

Not every lasting marriage is successful.
That's the first in a long list of false assumptions.
And of course short term marriages are not successful.

people have treated the Covenant agreement with such casualness that it's become abused in every manner possible.

the numbers of "shacking up" are insane anymore.
but even if people arent marrying, the living together arrangements, when they fail, do all the same emotional damage as a full divorce.

First,
let's define what a successful marriage looks like and consists of.
because that can be defined more easily than the huge volume of failed relationships.
(some people never learned how to get along with other people)
 
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soberxp

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In my more cynical moments, I have to ask why anybody should get married. Why don't we just let the human race die out? That "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it" command (Genesis 1:28) has led to nothing but heartbreak and suffering and a bunch of lost souls.

Anybody got some anti-depressants?
So what's your understanding now?
 

JohnDB

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It is only when people encounter issues of values that differences arise.
It could be for various reasons.
People lack tolerance and hope.
You forgot the part about when the tolerant and understanding person does not understanding when someone else lacks tolerance or has radically different values than they claim to have....and they then marry them.
 

HealthyShape

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the living together arrangements, when they fail, do all the same emotional damage as a full divorce.
From what people who went through divorce say, divorce is definitely much more emotionally draining, much more complicated, much more devastating and much more expensive than just ending living together.
 

soberxp

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You forgot the part about when the tolerant and understanding person does not understanding when someone else lacks tolerance or has radically different values than they claim to have....and they then marry them.
It's a bit difficult to understand this sentence.
People who are tolerant do not think about so many problems because they are tolerant. Only those who lack tolerance would raise various different questions, which might trouble those who understand tolerance and make them wonder why these are not problems when in fact they are.

Tolerance also has its limits; no one can be infinitely tolerant.This is what I think.


Marriage is a union of two individuals. If they cannot become one, then it is not the kind of marriage that God intended. I don't know what it is.
 
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Wynona

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First,
let's define what a successful marriage looks like and consists of.

1.Marriage is God's idea. A successful marriage has God and His Word at the center.

2. Both spouses are invested. They are willing to put in the work to learn what their spouse likes and dislikes and behave in ways that facilitate each other's growth and best interest.

3. Clearly defined roles. The man is meant to lead and be the head. The wife is to submit. The husband provides. The woman supports. (Ephesians 5, Genesis 2, Titus 2:3-5)

Together, husband and wife are united under one vision from God that the man is responsible for leading in.

I do not believe in an equal partnership. We tried that and it failed miserably. The Bible tells us to have roles in the one flesh union because it facilitates exactly that---being one flesh.

4. Forgiveness and commitment. Its not time to give up when one spouse sins. That is the time to forgive as the Father through Christ has forgiven us.