Is Marriage Worth It?

Naomanos · Nov 14, 2025

I believe that marriage is worth it, even after I was divorced by my wife.

I will be getting married on February 6, 2025. This time to the woman who believe God sent to me. My ex-wife and I were never supposed to be married, I see that now. We were coerced into marriage by her then pastor. The marriage was toxic, very toxic. She is in another marriage where she is not happy.

Naomanos · Nov 14, 2025

Wynona said:
I do not believe in an equal partnership. We tried that and it failed miserably. The Bible tells us to have roles in the one flesh union because it facilitates exactly that---being one flesh.

Two things can be true at once. One can have an egalitarian marriage and it still be one flesh.

Maybe for you it didn’t work. It doesn’t mean it will not work for others.

My marriage will be egalitarian. I will let you know how it works out, even though I already know it will be great!

Wynona · Nov 14, 2025

Naomanos said:
Two things can be true at once. One can have an egalitarian marriage and it still be one flesh.

Personally, I have not seen a truly egalitarian marriage where husband and wife have an equal say. The woman simply takes over.

I wish you all the best, though. Ill be here for the update.

Naomanos · Nov 14, 2025

Wynona said:
Personally, I have not seen a truly egalitarian marriage where husband and wife have an equal say. The woman simply takes over.

I wish you all the best, though. Ill be here for the update.

She has no desire to take over. She wants a true equal partner, not someone that will cower to her or override her.

Thank you, and I will be sure to do that.

JohnDB · Nov 14, 2025

HealthyShape said:
From what people who went through divorce say, divorce is definitely much more emotionally draining, much more complicated, much more devastating and much more expensive than just ending living together.

That would be wrong.

Divorce or ending the live in romantic relationship are exactly the same devastation except for the legal fees. It is somewhat cheaper to just find a new place to live but divorce is slower and legal protections are applied that are Just.

Each divorce or live in relationship that fails puts a callous on your heart that doesn't really go away. It makes it harder to really connect and give your heart to the other person.

Those who shack up with different people or have a ridiculous number of marriages get such a calloused heart that they really are not fit to live with anyone. 9 divorces is ridiculous but 9 different live in partners sounds average until you understand that it's not any different from a divorce. The same callousness is formed with each failed relationship. Until they feel nothing at all....even if they really want to....they can't. That ability is gone.

The whole truth is that there is something worse than a broken heart and that's a heart that's been broken so much that it feels nothing at all anymore.

HealthyShape · Nov 15, 2025

JohnDB said:
That would be wrong.

Divorce or ending the live in romantic relationship are exactly the same devastation except for the legal fees. It is somewhat cheaper to just find a new place to live but divorce is slower and legal protections are applied that are Just.

Each divorce or live in relationship that fails puts a callous on your heart that doesn't really go away. It makes it harder to really connect and give your heart to the other person.

Those who shack up with different people or have a ridiculous number of marriages get such a calloused heart that they really are not fit to live with anyone. 9 divorces is ridiculous but 9 different live in partners sounds average until you understand that it's not any different from a divorce. The same callousness is formed with each failed relationship. Until they feel nothing at all....even if they really want to....they can't. That ability is gone.

The whole truth is that there is something worse than a broken heart and that's a heart that's been broken so much that it feels nothing at all anymore.

Well, it seems you do not listen to the stories of people, much. Also, when there are children involved, the divorce process is horrible even for them.

JohnDB · Nov 15, 2025

HealthyShape said:
Well, it seems you do not listen to the stories of people, much. Also, when there are children involved, the divorce process is horrible even for them.

Actually I listen closer than you apparently.
And children come whether there is a marriage certificate or not. Whether planned or not.
Most young people who live together dont think in any long term fashion whatsoever.
The concept of building a life together is not on their radar screens. But that's exactly what they are doing.

A young apprentice of mine was talking about himself and his girlfriend and I stunned him into open mouth shock when I asked him about his relationship with her when I asked him, "Exactly what are you doing tangibly different than a married couple trying to have a baby?"

Wishes dont count for much in this world. What you do matters.

When you live with someone they become a part of your life...no matter even if its platonic. When its romantic even more so. They have an ability to know every intimate detail about you that no one else will.
And it becomes very comfortable....next thing you know years have gone by. And if that relationship ends....it doesn't matter if there's a marriage certificate or not...its not any different than a divorce.

A broken heart is not the worst thing.
A cold heart that feels nothing is much much worse.

Scott Downey · Nov 15, 2025

In a marriage, a wife is in charge of some things, and a man in others in my experiences
But yeah, there is a communication of ideas!

Wynona · Nov 15, 2025

I strive to be a crown for my husband. The Bible says a good wife is like a crown.

As I serve my husband and support him with respect, reverent, and submissiveness, he rises up to become like a King. And rather than him walking over me, he treasures me and shows me off.

Ill never be able to repay my husband's sacrifices for me. Much like with Christ. So becoming a wife who serves joyfully is fulfilling and well suited.

Many marriages are failing because the two spouses are matching action for action rather than striving to obey God and be who they need to be for the Lord regardless of their spouse's actions.

Lambano · Nov 15, 2025

JohnDB said:
The whole truth is that there is something worse than a broken heart and that's a heart that's been broken so much that it feels nothing at all anymore.

There’s a great quote.

TitusTwoWife · May 10, 2026

Biblical patriarchal marriage= worth it

Modern egalitarian marriage= not worth it.

I've tried both. Love my masculine leader.

doctrox · May 10, 2026

Naomanos said:
She has no desire to take over. She wants a true equal partner, not someone that will cower to her or override her.

The curse as per the garden of Eden: Unto the woman he said...thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Gen. 3:16).

Naomanos · May 10, 2026

TitusTwoWife said:
Biblical patriarchal marriage= worth it

Modern egalitarian marriage= not worth it.

I've tried both. Love my masculine leader.

My egalitarian marriage = worth it.

Naomanos · May 10, 2026

doctrox said:
The curse as per the garden of Eden: Unto the woman he said...thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Gen. 3:16).

I don't want to rule over my wife, I am not a leader, never wanted to be and never have been. I have no aspirations of being a leader.

This is how God made me.

TitusTwoWife · May 10, 2026

Naomanos said:
My egalitarian marriage = worth it.

I have yet to see a truly egalitarian relationship. If the man is not in charge, the woman usually is.

Naomanos · May 10, 2026

TitusTwoWife said:
I have yet to see a truly egalitarian relationship. If the man is not in charge, the woman usually is.

Then you have not seen our marriage.

It is truly egalitarian.

Wrangler · May 10, 2026

Scott Downey said:
Sitting here at 66 and married since 1981 to the same woman, yes worth it.

I’m just a few years younger than you And believe people who grew up in our era may still derive long term value from marriage.

Wynona said:
Men have been reporting that marriage is no longer worth getting into because of the perverse incentive for women to divorce from the legal system, and the modern cultural values that push women to simply leave if unhappy.

Sadly, declining marriage (due to the reasons you mentioned above) is tied to declining birth rates, which is what the globalist TPTB want As a necessary step toward the New World Order.

The toxicity of feminists today make men not even want to date, let alone get married. There are 1,000’s of tik tok vids of women complaining about how men don’t approach them, don’t talk to them and don’t seek romantic dates. At best it’s, hook up culture. One meme put it this way;
WOMEN: You only think of us for sex.
MEN: That’s all your good for.

The way out of this, besides Jesus, is rejecting the prevailing culture and incentives above and seek Biblical relationships. As the song goes, the Jesus way.

Wrangler · May 10, 2026

JohnDB said:
Not every lasting marriage is successful.
That's the first in a long list of false assumptions.

That was my parents. Unhappily married for 4 decades until my mother passed away.

Karen from the Happy Wife School has a mantra, “Happy Wives Make Happy Marriages.” Neither of my parents were individually happy people. They endured but didn’t thrive.

Wrangler · May 10, 2026

JohnDB said:
That would be wrong.

Divorce or ending the live in romantic relationship are exactly the same devastation except for the legal fees.

John, you are wrong and the reason is that the dream of a life together was never turned into a vow when you“re just living together. If you don’t get that, I feel sorry for you.

Wrangler · May 10, 2026

Wynona said:
As I serve my husband and support him with respect, reverent, and submissiveness, he rises up to become like a King. And rather than him walking over me, he treasures me and shows me off.

This is the investment - and risk - feminists are too afraid to make.

Is Marriage Worth It?

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