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Find yourself a good pastor in your area who can get through to you. As a retired Christian pastor and theology professor, I’ve done all I can to help you. You have serious issues that require more time and attention than anyone on this forum is able to provide.

* That’s exactly how my life as a civil / environmental engineer played out. All that math for naught. I still dream about it sometimes ... and break out in a cold sweat. *

* Don’t worry. Be happy. *

* I didn’t hear the dog’s owner say anything! *

“The Jews charged that if nothing had changed in the world, the Messiah could not have come according to Isaiah 2:4. And since the world is still filled with war, Jesus of Nazareth cannot have been the Messiah. These church leaders* responded to the charges of their critics, admitting that the...

* I speak from experience. Krispy Kreme will do that to you. *

* It’s never really too late to learn as long as we’re drawing breath, Snoopy. *

* The clock is running. Read widely. Read deeply. Read thoughtfully. Read critically. *

* My grandson starts Kindergarten next month. His experience will be far different from mine. I remember mind fondly. *

* I miss those days. *

Even though you didn’t listen to Herbert (taking you at your word), you sound like Herbert -> Gods in the God family. You’re suffering a delusion of grandeur which exceeds even Nicene theology. You aren’t ever going to be God. I’m a Jewish monotheist / primitive Christian.